How much influence does parental self-discipline have on children?

The child is not good enough, is slow in doing things, is lazy in learning, has poor grades, and is playful… Where do these stubborn bad habits come from? Do you dare to admit that it was you who influenced it? Tell me a story about the past few days. I always see this phenomenon when I go to my cousin’s house. I pressed the doorbell until I felt weak, and then my cousin opened the door. It was already 10:00 in the morning, and they were all still in bed. My cousin\’s son finally got up. He didn\’t even brush his teeth, so he started looking for food to fill his stomach. After eating, he held a mobile phone and played games. When someone came to the house, he didn\’t even bother to say hello. Of course, what remains unchanged is that my cousin complained to me again that my son was at the bottom of the final exam this time. Before the vacation, my son automatically turned on vacation mode with black and white reversed. He did his homework perfunctorily and his handwriting looked like It\’s from a chicken. I really had no choice… When I went to my cousin\’s house, I saw the completely opposite situation. The cousin\’s daughter usually likes to read, so they hardly have to worry about the little girl\’s studies, and her test scores are also gratifying. What makes my cousin even more happy is that the little girl has learned to plan various things for herself, such as when to study and when to play… The cousin complains about the child\’s poor performance, while the cousin praises the child\’s excellence. In fact, this is \”the child is the parent\” \”Mirror\” theory, living proof! My cousin is lazy and undisciplined, while my cousin has always been active, self-disciplined and willing to do something. If parents themselves perform poorly and their children learn from others, how can they become outstanding? Self-disciplined parents are often strict with themselves and full of positive energy; parents who are not self-disciplined are often lenient with self-discipline and full of decadence. After having children, I needed to frequently attend parent-teacher meetings and other activities, and then I gained a deeper understanding of the importance of self-disciplined parents. There are forty students in my Niuniu\’s class. Slowly, I discovered a very interesting phenomenon: most of the parents of many excellent and polite children have a very good sense of time and will never be late for parent-teacher meetings. They are well-dressed and behave in a comfortable manner. ; And for many children with poor academic performance, their parents are used to being late for parent-teacher meetings, and even when they come, they lower their heads and play with their mobile phones. The parent-teacher conference is a small circle of parents, a small microcosm of life, but it reflects the self-discipline attitude of parents. Now, more and more parents are beginning to understand what being self-disciplined means to their children. However, what is annoying and funny is that some parents still adopt \”double standards\” – they force their children to live in an orderly manner even though they live like a mess; they force their children to live in an orderly manner even though they know that they have to run a red light when there is no car passing by. , when you return home, you can still solemnly warn your children to obey the traffic order; even though you smoke, drink, and do not exercise and your body is out of shape, you are forced to eat healthy food and exercise regularly… You have no sense of self-discipline, no sense of order in life, and no sense of time. Parents who want to train their children to be highly self-disciplined and outstanding are tantamount to chasing a duck to the shelf! How much influence does self-discipline have on a child? Regarding the impact of self-discipline in personality on life, an American researcher (Walter Mischel) once made a\”The Marshmallow Experiment\”. American researchers found 60 children, asked them to stay in a room, put delicious candies in the room, and told the children that they could eat them when the staff was away. However, if you can endure it and wait until the staff comes back to eat, you can get double the candy! After the staff left, faced with the temptation of candies and the staff\’s promises, the children had a fierce inner struggle. Some got to eat, and some didn\’t. The purpose of the experiment is to study the different ways these children resist external temptations and how their self-control performance is related to future achievements. More than a decade later, those who could wait 15 minutes scored on average 210 points higher on the SAT than those who rang the bell and ate marshmallows after 30 seconds. . There are even healthier body mass indexes, better educational achievements, more decent job benefits, happier family situations, etc. When they become parents, their children will also perform better than their peers because of self-discipline! In the end, how can we work together with our children to achieve self-discipline? 1. Hold family meetings carefully and formulate family rules involving all members. For example, if you want to require your children to watch TV for no more than 45 minutes a day, finish their work on the same day, and spend at least 1 hour of extracurricular reading every day, then you have to set something for yourself. If you like to smoke, you might as well quit gradually and ask your children and wife to supervise you; for example, if you are responsible for cleaning the room, you can also explain how often you plan to clean it, and then strictly implement it. These small things, which have been democratically negotiated, signed and confirmed by family members but strictly implemented, are precisely the training of self-discipline again and again, which is conducive to the development of excellent habits of self-discipline in a democratic and harmonious family atmosphere. Of course, anyone who violates the rules should receive corresponding punishments in accordance with regulations. 2. Have a high degree of self-discipline and must learn to arrange time reasonably and take care of life. Help your child create a schedule. Let the children decide for themselves what time to get up, what to do first after getting up, what to do after breakfast, when to finish homework, etc. What parents need to do is not to rush for success, be more patient, and encourage their children to overcome difficulties and become self-disciplined people. Let your children learn to take care of their own daily belongings. For example, after completing your homework, you should pack up your stationery in an orderly manner as soon as possible; for example, when a child starts to do a housework that he doesn\’t like, you can first let the child set a time for completion, and tell the child if he can do it within Finish it within the specified time, and the remaining time can be freely used to gradually develop the child\’s time concept and management ability. 3. Have a high degree of self-discipline and train children’s ability to delay gratification. In the process of training children to delay gratification, parents need to set some necessary rules for their children, or make corresponding regulations with their children in advance. For example, if you want your children not to pester you to buy this or that, before going out, parents should tell their children in advance that they can only buy one thing at a time. When the child goes to the mall and gets one thing successfully, he wants to be greedy and buys another thing he really wants.When going out, parents must discuss with their children and implement the rules they set before going out. In this process of delaying the purchase, the child learns to wait and also learns self-control. However, delay does not mean cancellation. Once a promise is made, it must be fulfilled. Let us take action, start with small things one by one, and determine to develop the habit of self-discipline: When you want to pick up one more chopsticks for braised pork purely out of greed, please remind yourself of the dangers of not being self-disciplined. Think about it. The feeling that this big piece of braised pork is about to stick to your body. When you are procrastinating and don’t want to improve yourself, think about the painful experience of being fired by your boss because you couldn’t solve a technical problem at work; when you are lazy and unwilling to apply a facial mask, think about the hanging mask in the kitchen. An ugly piece of old bacon. …