How not to lose your temper and make your children smile and be obedient

When our children are well-behaved and obedient, our hearts are filled with love and happiness. However, there are many times every day when our children do not listen to us. From the moment we get up in the morning, we either can\’t afford to wake up or refuse to get dressed. We have to prepare breakfast, worry about the school bus that we are about to miss, and a lot of work to be completed today. At this time, parents are also very worried. It is easy to become angry, blame the child for disobedience, or even get angry at the child. The day has just begun. I still don’t brush my teeth, I don’t want to go to kindergarten, I don’t eat well, I don’t even take medicine, I play at a friend’s house and I don’t want to go home, I don’t want to sleep when it’s bedtime, I want whatever I see… It’s impossible for us Everything goes according to the child\’s will. When we have differences of opinion with our children, or when we must ask him to do something, it is time to test our methods. Is there such a disobedient \”naughty child\” in your family? Whatever he was asked to do, he would not do it; whatever he was not allowed to do, he would do it. Niuniu is just over two years old. She had a fever of 39 degrees yesterday. She had to be given fever-reducing medicine immediately, but she refused to take it. The medicine for children to reduce fever is actually sweet and not bitter, but it is useless no matter how much you coax it, Niuniu just won\’t take it. I went to kindergarten every day. I stayed in bed in the morning and refused to get up and get dressed even after being called several times. Seeing that the school bus will be delayed if I don’t get up, and I will be late for work if I miss the school bus, it’s really annoying! Lele is three and a half years old. She insists on pushing the shopping cart by herself in the supermarket. Her mother disagrees, so Lele yells: \”I won\’t buy groceries anymore, I want to go home!\” At this time, we often say bad things and hold back. Only by enduring it until you can\’t help it anymore and getting angry at the child can you \”calm down\” the child. We all know that it is not good to lose our temper with our children, and we also want to find ways to make our children obedient when they should be obedient without losing our temper. Is there such a method? have! But we’ll get to that later, let’s take a look first, why are children so naughty? It\’s obviously for his own good, why doesn\’t he listen? Did we do something wrong if our children are disobedient? In the first seven or eight months of a child\’s life, parenting is relatively simple. We adults are just a little bit tired because we have to get up at night to change diapers and breastfeed, so we can\’t sleep well. We are willing to face this cute little angel. However, we don\’t realize that one of the reasons why \”Angel\” is cute is that he can\’t move by himself. Once an angel begins to act independently, it may be time to \”transform.\” From the moment a child learns to crawl, his or her exploration instinct kicks in. When a child explores the \”new world\”, he is interested not only in what we want him to explore, such as toys and picture books, but also in many exploration objects that challenge our bottom line. The daughter of a friend of mine was once most interested in the trash can in the kitchen. ――The trash can, how dirty it is! But if she is not allowed to turn over, she will cry and make trouble. Her exploratory instinct made her interested in trash cans. And when we stop her from digging through the trash can, her angry instinct will kick in, causing her to cry and not listen to adults. \”Disobedience\”, simply put, is the natural configuration evolved by us humans. It is disobedience that allows children to explore, discover, and grow. Therefore, various \”disobedient\” behaviors that appear in children\’s growth processBecause, not only is it not a bad thing, but it is also a normal manifestation and even a necessary condition for the healthy mental development of children, which is extremely beneficial to children. If a child is disobedient, we can only let him go? If the child wants to dig through the trash can, should he just do it? If you are sick and don’t take medicine, why don’t you take it? If you stay in bed in the morning, don\’t you go to school? There are so many people coming and going in the supermarket, and it gives me a headache just thinking about a three-year-old child pushing a shopping cart by himself, what a mess! Of course, we can’t let our children do what they want, but based on our new understanding of “disobedience”, we can find a new way to protect our children’s “disobedience” while not hurting the close relationship between us and them. \”The healthy growth needs of children can also make children happily and proactively cooperate with us. But is there really such a way? Can you get your children to cooperate without losing your temper or yelling? The answer is games. If you don’t get angry or yell, your child can smile and be obedient. Niuniu is sick, but she refuses to take medicine. So my father came to play the role of the \”Bacteria King\” and boasted arrogantly: \”No one can defeat me, I am the most powerful bacteria king in the world, hahahaha!\” At this time, my mother quietly gave Niuniu an idea. : \”Hey, baby, if we drink this bottle of medicine, we can defeat the king of bacteria.\” So, Niu Niu started to try and take a sip. After she drank a little bit, her father, pretending to be the King of Bacteria, immediately shouted: \”Oh, no! What is so powerful?\” \”Oh, why is my neck stuck?\” \”Oh! , why can\’t I see my eyes?\” Following her father\’s exaggerated performance, Niuniu continued to drink the medicine. As a result, the \”Bacteria King\”\’s arm was broken and his legs became weak… Finally, the medicine was finished, and the Bacteria King was also killed. defeated. Does Niu Niu really think her father is the king of bacteria? Of course not, children are very aware of the boundaries between imagination and reality. In the morning, I stayed in bed all day, refusing to get up and get dressed even after being called several times. So while packing his things, my father said to himself: \”Forget it, don\’t wear it if you don\’t want to wear it. Anyway, I can\’t be late for work. After I finish packing, I will take him out of bed every day and put on my pajamas directly.\” I went to kindergarten. When the teacher saw him, he would ask, why didn\’t you help Tiantian change his clothes before coming back? I said that I had called him a hundred times, but he didn\’t get up. I had no choice but to bring him here. The teacher asked again, but if you are barefoot every day, you will catch a cold and get sick. I said what should I do? The teacher came up with a way, how about asking my father to lend me socks to wear every day, I became anxious when I heard that, How can that work? How can I go to work with my stinky bare feet? This is a really bad idea…\” During the whole process, my father kept his back to the bed, not looking at Tiantian, and later he walked around the living room. At the same time, my mother helped Tiantian get dressed quickly and then got back into bed. After Tiantian got dressed, his father turned back to the bed and said, \”Humph, Tiantian can only go to kindergarten in pajamas today!\” Then he pretended not to look at Tiantian, took him out with half-closed eyes, and walked angrily to Tiantian. In the living room, I suddenly saw that he was already dressed… Dad was stunned and laughed proudly every day. This is actually a game that I have played with my dad many times every day.Of course I know that my father is pretending to be confused, but he still likes to play and is very happy every time. If you want to stop getting angry or yelling, and make your children smile and obey, games can always help. Because the happiness and intimacy in the game will resolve the confrontation between parents and children. It’s no longer an invitation to “I don’t like doing this, but my parents have to let me do it,” but rather an invitation to “let’s play.” When we truly understand the child\’s \”disobedience\” and understand that \”disobedience\” is a boost to the child\’s growth, it will be easier to stand by the child and even actively interact with him through games. The most amazing thing at this time is that the child also shows the side of himself that is most willing to cooperate with his parents and is most obedient.