How parents can deal with the internal friction of anxiety disorders

Writer Zhou Guoping once said: Parents\’ anxiety is the heaviest burden on their children. An anxious mother can never raise a confident and happy child. In life, there are always trivialities and trivialities. But in the face of troubles, if your mentality is different, your situation will be very different. As the soul of a family, how can a mother get rid of internal friction and lead her children to grow up with good emotions? \”People\’s Daily\” gave 9 suggestions that are worthy of reference by all mothers. Don’t care too much about other people’s opinions. The “focus effect” in psychology tells us that caring too much about external evaluations will make you fall into depression. There was once a mother whose daughter was often laughed at because of her poor study and slow movements. She felt very embarrassed, so she often scolded her daughter, why can\’t she be as good as other people\’s children? But my daughter has been exposed to angry scolding for a long time. Instead of getting better, her problems have accumulated. This made her more anxious and depressed all day long. In fact, every child has his own flowering period and rhythm. There is no need to tie other people\’s opinions into your own expectations. He is your child, not your face. Putting your child\’s future in someone else\’s mouth is the stupidest thing. What you have to do is to become a \”noise reducer\” and help them block unnecessary interference and noise. Let them go their own way and see their own scenery. The best way to get rid of anxiety attacks? Chen Mo’s 40 lessons on how to be a non-anxious parent. Don’t be overly sensitive. Olympic champion Liu Xuan revealed in the program \”Freshman Diary\” that she became extra sensitive after the birth of her son. She has handwritten eight parenting diaries, recording in detail her children\’s sleep, diet and physical conditions. Whenever there is any abnormality, I will think about it for a long time. In the long run, it\’s extremely painful. Fortunately, my husband was there to guide me, and the situation gradually improved. In the process of raising children, it is inevitable that you will make some mistakes and run into some troubles. Being too sensitive will only increase your burden. If you deal with your child\’s troubles, be calmer and downplay your emotions, it will be easier to find a way to solve the problem. As Junichi Watanabe said in the book \”Insensitive Power\”: With the power of insensitiveness, no matter how painful things are, they can be turned into factors that are beneficial to oneself. Be a parent who is \”insensitive\” and leave space to your children and time to the future. Turn anxiety into strength and slowly accompany your children to grow with love. Accept the true self. Rogers, the psychology master, said: \”Love is deep understanding and acceptance.\” But before accepting our children, the first thing we must learn is to accept ourselves, especially the bad side of ourselves. For example: lack of patience when educating children; unable to control temper and easy to get emotional; when seeing children dragging and dilly-dallying, they can’t help but urge them;… Admitting these does not mean that we are a bad mother. Being a mother for the first time is inevitably a bit unfamiliar, so there is no need to avoid shortcomings or hide limitations. Knowing how to accept yourself is the key to staying emotionally relaxed. When you learn to fully accept yourself, life becomes magical and your family becomes full of vitality. In such an environment, children can accumulate more energy and move towards their dreams. Reconciling with the Past There is a scene in \”The Happy Trio\” that is quite meaningful. At that time, the wives gathered together to talk about marriage and getting along, and when the topic of quarrels between husband and wife came up, they all complained. thisAt that time, Xie Nan said something: The biggest disadvantage for me in the quarrel is that I don\’t remember things and don\’t settle old accounts. My old accounts are blank. She seems to be in a weak position, but she actually hides great wisdom. It is normal for couples to have quarrels. But when two people quarrel, what they fear most is settling old scores. The more you quarrel, the deeper the estrangement will be. In the end, the family will collapse, and it doesn\’t matter if you win the quarrel. As Mr. Mo Yan once said: \”The world is like a book, pages are turned over. People should look forward and avoid reading old accounts.\” If there are conflicts between husband and wife, they should discuss the matter and resolve it on the spot. Don\’t keep it in your heart one by one and let the boiling resentment swallow up the original happiness. Remember, not settling old scores is the secret to a happy and long-lasting marriage. Release Negative Emotions Mothers are responsible for the climate of the family and influence their children with their emotions. But only when bad emotions are released can good emotions come back. Education expert Jiang Peirong has been told since she was a child that a true lady must learn to cover up negative emotions. So after becoming a mother, she tried her best to suppress her emotions and never got angry with her children. But the final result was that I was almost depressed. Later, after receiving counseling from a psychiatrist, I learned to release negative emotions, and my condition turned around. If the rope is stretched too tight, it will break easily; if people press it for too long, it will collapse easily. Of course losing your temper should not be a normal part of parenting, but the inner strength also needs an outlet. Relax and let your emotions out openly. Only by driving away the inner haze can the bright sunshine shine in; only by living happily can children be inspired. Be more active. I have heard many similar complaints in life: My child is 3 years old, is it still too late to learn English? My child is seriously procrastinating and dilly-dallying, can I still change it now? Is it hopeless to be rebellious and uncontrollable in adolescence? … Never feel that it is too late to educate your children. The only thing that is too late is that you have never started. The mother of Wu Yishu, a talented girl from Tsinghua University, was busy with work and neglected her daughter\’s education, which resulted in Wu Yishu becoming a \”scumbag\” when she was a child. But when she realized the problem, she took action immediately. In the end, she and her husband worked together to accompany their daughter to complete the counterattack. To educate children, you never need to talk or dream. If you miss the \”golden period\”, you should try to seize the moment. Regret, anxiety, and self-blame are all unnecessary internal friction. More action, less inner drama. Now is the best time to educate your children. Don’t pursue perfection too much. There is a comment about perfect mothers on the Internet, which is very accurate: “They take care of their children like high-end nannies, deal with diseases like specialists, interpret children’s emotions like psychologists, and provide children with the best care like excellent teachers. Good education…\” But do children really need us to do this? Not really! If we do everything perfectly, our children will lose the opportunity to grow; if we cannot let ourselves go, then this anxiety will be transferred into the pressure of our children. A mother with 100 points is too boring, but a mother with 60 points is more lively and three-dimensional. We can lose our temper appropriately, and we can also be lazy occasionally. Mom is an ordinary person, not a perfect god. For children, a real, vivid individual is more attractive than a perfect mother. Don’t set limits for yourself. Some time ago, there was 3The 5-year-old female security guard became popular. She is also a mother, named Wang Dakun. In order to set an example for her children, she worked while preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. Although it was hard work, I still endured the pressure and finally worked hard for 9 months before successfully landing at Harbin Institute of Technology. In an interview, she said: As long as you have a dream, chase it, it’s never too late! Children see the world from the shoulders of their parents. Your current position is the child\’s perspective on the future. When you become a mother, you must not forget to stand on tiptoes to achieve yourself. French writer Montaigne said: The greatest joy of being a parent is to inspire and educate your children based on the path you have traveled during your lifetime. The king of education is for parents to cultivate themselves persistently. Only by clearing your own path first can your child\’s future path become smoother. Keeping an open mind Hu Shi\’s mother is an open-minded and reasonable mother. As the head stepmother, after the death of her husband, she shouldered the burden of the family alone and never complained. Even though she suffered many provocations, when her stepson faced a debt crisis, she still ignored her past grudges and came to help. Many people were puzzled, but she only replied that she was tolerant and considerate. It is this open-mindedness that brings harmony to the family. Mother is the vane of a family. The smarter and more open-minded a mother is, the more she knows how to tolerate and give in. When a family is together, quarrels are inevitable. Less complaining and care, more wisdom in not competing. Spend your time solving problems instead of fighting each other. In this way, the home will become a haven of love and become more and more prosperous. Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology, said: \”Mother is the soul of the family. If the mother is happy, the whole family is happy; if the mother is anxious, the whole family is anxious.\” The mother\’s state of mind and emotions affect the magnetic field of the entire family. Only when the mother relaxes and stops internal friction can the home become an energy field. I believe that when you find a confident and relaxed life, your children will experience a more exciting life under your guidance! Click \”Like\” and encourage all mothers!