How parents can give their children a sense of security and belonging

Interviewee: Ma Ai, professor at China University of Political Science and Law, doctoral supervisor, certified psychologist by the Chinese Psychological Society, and director of the Criminal Psychology Research Center of China University of Political Science and Law. One of the domestic academic leaders in legal psychology, crime and criminal justice psychology. He is the author of \”My Views on Crime Research\”, \”The Role of Psychology in Justice\”, \”Rationality and Irrationality in Crime\”, etc. I have been engaged in criminal psychology research for many years and found that whether it is staged adolescent crime or lifelong crime, it is inseparable from the influence of the growth environment. Therefore, creating a good family environment plays a vital role in preventing juvenile delinquency and promoting their healthy growth. How can children with poor memory improve their memory training methods? Full video download In June 2022, the \”White Paper on Procuratorial Work for Minors (2021)\” issued by the Supreme People\’s Procuratorate pointed out that currently, the protection of minors still faces a severe and complex situation, and it is not yet clear that the protection of minors is still facing a severe and complex situation. Adult crime has increased, and the absence of family supervision is more prominent. Many parents are very busy at work and rarely spend time with their children. It is recommended that they interact more with their children at home. On the one hand, they can improve their understanding of their children, and on the other hand, they can get closer psychologically to their parents. For children under the age of 10, their parents must stay with them before going to bed every day. They can read together with their children, and they can also talk to their children about happy or unhappy things in the day. Many parents only focus on the issues they care about and insist on studying, homework and exams, which leads to resentment in their children and a bad family atmosphere. Such care and companionship prevent children from feeling loved, and naturally it is impossible for them to have a sense of security and belonging. I have always believed that a person\’s ability is the most important. It is like a reservoir. Intelligence, cognition, emotion, personality… are all small rivers that merge into the reservoir, and they are also the source of learning. Only when the reservoir is full can the sustainable development of this tributary be possible. I am usually busy with work, but I still have some experience in spending time with my children. For example, as long as you have time, outdoor activities are better than indoor activities. The whole family can go for an outing in the park together, embrace the blue sky, and feel the touch of the sun. Take your children to play basketball or ride bicycles. Exercise can make the body secrete dopamine and make people feel happy. It can also effectively isolate children from the interference of mobile phones and computers. In addition, when getting along with your child, talk more about things that interest him. Then, guide him to develop in the direction that his parents are interested in, know how to follow the trend, and ask questions and get inspiration from what he is doing. When my son was four or five years old, he liked the dinosaurs in cartoons very much. I first took him to the zoo to find which animals looked like dinosaurs. Elephants are like Tyrannosaurus rex, rhinos are like Triceratops… Through observation, thinking and research, my son came to a conclusion: there are no dinosaurs in the zoo. Only then did I take him to the Museum of Natural History to see the dinosaur exhibit. Since then, the Natural History Museum has become the place he visits most. Parents should be willing to be primary school students and sincerely ask their children what they don’t understand so that they can gain a sense of accomplishment. When my son was eleven or twelve years old, he loved playing games. Once, while handling a case, I discovered that the perpetrator was a teenager who loved to play a certain video game. So, I asked my son how many characters there are in this game and what the role of each character is.What? He immediately checked and sorted it out and introduced them to me one by one excitedly. I followed the trend and made a request to him: If you play games, you must form a team. He readily agreed. Forming a team is also a way for children to make friends. It requires mutual assistance, careful thinking and various planning, so that the negative factors of the game can be transformed into positive effects. Of course, the specific situation of each family is different. Due to some objective reasons, there are also situations where one or even both parents are not at home, but there are always more solutions than difficulties. I once met a boy whose father was in the army and was away from home all year round. But his mother is very wise and often calls her younger brother to play sports and play with her son. In the company of male elders, boys become independent, sunny and confident, making up for the absence of their father. The impact of parents\’ emotional instability on their children is beyond your imagination. For divorced families, my principle is that even if the physical distance is far away, the psychological distance must be very close. Both parties must consider it from the perspective of the child and assume the obligations of parents. At the same time, do not make any derogatory remarks about your ex-husband or ex-wife in front of your children, so as to sow the seeds of hatred in their hearts. Otherwise, over time, the child will inevitably become at a loss and develop various psychological problems. Left-behind families are also a big problem. \”If I hold you, I can\’t feed you; if I put you down, I can\’t accompany you.\” This is the helplessness of such parents. But when possible, video chat more and pay more attention to your child to make him feel that he is not alone. The community or school can organize self-help for left-behind children to make them feel: I am not alone. We are all together, so we are not alone. Forming this kind of psychological interdependence will help children\’s character development. \”A happy childhood heals a lifetime, an unfortunate childhood heals a lifetime.\” This sentence expresses the importance of the original family. The stage of children and adolescents is a critical period for habit cultivation and personality development. Parents should interact and communicate with their children more so that they can feel companionship, support and unconditional love. This will become an infinite force for them to resist bad temptations and remain brave and optimistic in their future lives.