How parents deal with the \”little thing\” of babies throwing things around shows their wisdom

Babies throwing things away is a headache for many parents. It\’s a small thing to break things, but it\’s embarrassing to hurt others. How to guide such behavior scientifically and effectively is a difficult problem for parents. Objective view, graded response, and positive guidance are wise choices for parents. Haohao is over 2 years old and loves throwing things. If you don’t want to play with the toy anymore, throw it against the wall. In addition, glasses and mobile phones cannot escape his \”claws\”. Once I hit a little brother on the forehead with a toy, but fortunately there were no serious consequences. Regarding Haohao\’s habit of throwing things, my mother tried to stop him, scolded him, and hit him, but she couldn\’t see any effect. I believe that many mothers and fathers have been troubled by the bad habit of \”naughty children\” throwing things away. Some parents severely stop them and even punish them with beatings and scoldings. As a result, the children seem to become more rebellious and rebel against their parents by crying and rolling. Some parents let their children throw things unchecked, and as a result, their children\’s throwing behavior intensifies. There has been such a case around me: a three-year-old boy hit another little boy on the head with a rock, and the parents of both parties went to the police station. Throwing things is such a common behavior, how to deal with it appropriately tests the wisdom of parents. Faced with the trivial matter of throwing things, parents need a positive and scientific way to deal with it. By doing the following three things, parents can see the big from the small and take it easy. Taking an objective view, the behavior of throwing things is common among children aged 1-4 years old. \”Existence is reasonable.\” We might as well analyze first, why do children like to throw things? 1. The “aggression instinct” is at work. Freud believed that people have an aggressive instinct. In an instinct-based creature like a young child, the attack instinct is more obvious. Throwing things is a way to express aggression. For example, some children repeatedly smash toys on the ground and giggle after smashing them. This is a manifestation of the aggressive instinct. 2. Gain a sense of control. Babies cannot survive without adults and are therefore filled with insecurities. An important way to gain a sense of security is to gain control over oneself and the environment. Throwing an object makes a \”bang\” sound, and the child has completed control of his own movements, objects, and sounds. Throwing things is an important way for children to gain a sense of control. 3. Motor skill development needs. Young children\’s motor skills develop rapidly, and they are keen to try various movements to develop their body motor abilities. In the process of throwing things, children gradually master skills such as controlling direction and strength. A foreign survey of parents of young children shows that 2-3 years old is the peak period for children to throw things, and 41% of parents are troubled by their children throwing things. After the age of 4, this proportion drops to 5%. It can be seen from this that parents do not need to worry too much about their children throwing things. Throwing things is actually a stage phenomenon in children\’s psychological development, which is helpful for the development of children\’s autonomy and motor skills. In special circumstances, if a child throwing things may encourage his aggressive behavior, parents need to intervene. Graded response: Parents cannot generalize when children throw things, and should respond according to the situation. According to the nature and consequences, it can be divided into four levels: harming others, damaging things, causing trouble, and no adverse consequences.Different levels of behavior require different responses. Injury to others – Children are strictly prohibited from throwing things at people. If it may hurt others, parents need to strictly prohibit it. Let the children be shocked in their hearts and understand that this is absolutely not allowed. So what does it mean to be strict? To let your children feel your serious and serious attitude, make full use of your voice, expression, and movements. For example, look at the child with a serious expression and tell him repeatedly in a loud and firm voice not to throw things at people. When Zaizai was more than 2 years old, he once hit his mother in the face with a mobile phone, which made her cry in pain. I carried Zai Zai to the corner and said sternly: \”Don\’t throw things at people!\” I said this several times. Zai Zai looked at my serious look and felt that I was criticizing him. He wanted to sit on the ground and let him go, so I pulled him up. , asked him to stand still, and asked him if he would hit people again in the future. He whispered that he would not hit anyone anymore. I asked him to go and say sorry to his mother, and he went there obediently. After this strict prohibition several times, Zaizai no longer threw things at people. It should be noted here that there should be no emotion in this process. Let the child understand that he made a mistake and accept criticism instead of being frightened by your emotions. Damaged items – persuade and teach young children to throw glasses, mobile phones, food and other items on the ground, causing items to be damaged or unusable. In this case, parents need to explicitly prohibit it and change the child\’s behavior through persuasion and education. For example, if a child throws an egg on the ground and breaks it, how do we persuade and educate him? Persuasion education is divided into three stages: presenting facts, reasoning, and taking responsibility. Presenting the facts means making children fully aware of the direct consequences of their actions. It can guide children to see, listen and touch, so that they can have a profound understanding. If a child breaks an egg, you can point to the broken egg on the ground and say to him in a sad voice: \”Look, the egg is broken.\” Then let the child touch the egg liquid on the ground with his fingers and say to him: \”Break it.\” Come out and get dirty.\” In this way, children can form a clear concept of the consequences of their actions. The purpose of reasoning is to let the children know why they cannot throw it away. There are two points to note when reasoning: the content is easy to understand and the form is easy to accept. Use words that are easy for children to understand to describe the consequences of your behavior, and speak to your children in an equal and peaceful manner. For example, squat down and look at the child, and say to him in a serious and calm tone: \”If the egg breaks, you can\’t eat it, right?\” Taking responsibility means paying a certain price for your behavior after the child gets into trouble. For example, when cleaning up broken eggs, you can ask the children to bring the broom and mop and throw the generated garbage into the trash can. At the same time, tell the child that because he broke an egg, he will eat one less egg tomorrow. Causing trouble – Acknowledging that sometimes children throwing things will cause trouble to parents, such as throwing toys in the toy box and clothes in the closet everywhere, pouring all the fruits they just bought on the ground, etc. After playing, the child patted his butt and left, and the parents followed behind to clean up. Some parents will scold their children and prohibit them from doing this, but this will inevitably restrict their children\’s play. At this time, parents need to give their childrenMore patience and let it play freely. When the play is over, you can use your wisdom to guide your children to return the items to their proper places. For example, say to the child: \”That toy box is the home of these toys. The toys want to go home to sleep now, shall we send them home?\” Or: \”We are now competing to put the toys back into the toy box. Who wins the reward?\” A box of yogurt!\” In most cases, children will cooperate with such an offer. No adverse consequences – Encouraging children to throw things will not harm others or other lives, will not damage items, and will not cause trouble to parents. It is basically certain that throwing things in this way will have no adverse consequences. For example, throwing plastic balls on the ground or throwing stuffed toys to others fall into this category. At this time, parents should encourage such behavior, actively participate in it, play with their children, and promote their children\’s growth during the play process. Positive Guidance As mentioned above, children throwing things cannot be judged simply by whether they are good or bad. In one situation, throwing things is beneficial to the child\’s psychological growth, but in another situation, throwing things may encourage children\’s aggression. As a parent, you should actively guide and create a situation that is conducive to the growth of your children. While promoting your children\’s growth, you should also squeeze the space for the development of bad behaviors. If hierarchical response is regarded as \”taking advantage of the situation\”, then active guidance can be regarded as \”taking the initiative\”. Parents can guide in the following ways: 1. Increase the sense of control. Give children toys that interact during the throwing process, such as pinballs that light up when hit, and cannons that make a \”pop\” sound when thrown hard on the ground. 2. Improve accuracy. Play games with your children that require precise control, such as setting up a children\’s basketball hoop at home, practicing shooting with your children, or playing children\’s bowling. 3. Build strength. If your child has endless energy in throwing things, you can take him to the pond in the park, pick up stones on the roadside and throw them towards the water, and compete to see who can throw the farthest. This can not only exercise children\’s arm muscles, but also vent bad emotions. When children grow up, there are many \”little things\” like throwing things. But a child\’s growth is made up of many such \”little things\”. Faced with these \”little things\”, parents do not need to feel like they are facing a formidable enemy, nor should they take it lightly. The child\’s behavior is like an S-shaped car. Parents do not have to stop the car or let it go. Keep a calm mind, use your brain, support when you go astray, and push when you are on the right track, and your child will be able to move forward at a faster speed. Only with a \”normal heart\” and a \”smart brain\” can you be calm and unhurried.