As a parent, it is undeniable that everyone wants to educate their children well. The best situation is for a son to become a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix. However, in real life, I often hear some parents say: \”The child is still young, it will be fine when he grows up.\” Whenever I hear such words, I always sigh silently in my heart: Some parents always fail to educate their children. It\’s because they don\’t understand the importance of the child. They don\’t care about the child when they should be in charge, but they try hard to control the child when they shouldn\’t be in charge. As everyone knows, if you discipline your children more or less, the results will be completely different. CCTV host Dong Qing once said in \”The First Lesson of School\”: \”When educating children, you choose to make money rather than discipline them; when the children grow up, the money you have worked hard to earn all your life will be gone. It\’s not worth the loss of his family for one year.\” Being a parent really has a time limit, and this is only valid for 10 years. So, how should we discipline our children when it comes to educating them? When should you take care of it and when should you not take care of it? If parents do the \”five things they don\’t like\” and the \”three things they don\’t care about\”, their children will be more promising when they grow up. Five Dislikes, Children Will Be More Promising in the Future 1. Children will be willful and unaccustomed. Every child will be willful, disobedient and dishonest. This is a necessary stage in the growth process of children. Faced with their children\’s unreasonable behavior, many parents\’ reactions can be roughly divided into three types: one is to treat them coldly, you cry while I do my thing; the other is to scold and threaten, and if they don\’t listen to advice, they will serve with sticks; the third is to compromise and be soft-hearted Make concessions. If they are not satisfied, they will act up and cry. There are too many children in life who have experienced \”welfare\” through \”crying\”, so they frequently use unique tricks to \”blackmail\” their parents. When educating children, parents must have principles. You cannot always compromise with your children. If you compromise too many times, your children will form a wrong judgment, that is, as long as you keep crying, you will always get what you want. Many studies have shown that many conditions proposed by children to their parents after the age of 3 are \”tentative\”. That is to say, the conditions proposed by the child are sometimes not what he really wants, but just testing the parents\’ bottom line. The child\’s first trial turned into a real bargain, and the blackmail chips became bigger and bigger. Therefore, in the face of children\’s willful behavior, parents\’ attitude is the key. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Issues of principles and bottom lines really cannot be left to the whim of a child. 2. Children who have no rules and are not used to educating them must do so as early as possible. As the old saying goes: Three years old looks old, seven years old looks old. Therefore, children must be educated within the effective period of parental discipline. If no rules are established for children before the age of 6, no matter how good the education is, it will be useless. Establishing rules is to help children establish a sense of rules. That is, let children understand that rules are boundaries and know what can and cannot be done. There are rules everywhere in life. You must abide by traffic rules when walking on the road, abide by public norms when entering public places, and abide by company policies when entering the workplace… However, in life, many parents use the excuse of their children\’s young age to continue to protect and indulge their children. Various behaviors. When your child gets into trouble, you protect and condone it; when your child makes mistakes, you don\’t take it seriously; when your child develops bad habits, you turn a blind eye.In this way, children are spoiled rotten by their parents\’ indulgence time and time again. Playing games, skipping school, spending money randomly, when the children grow up, parents will find that they can no longer control their children. The age of 3-6 is a critical period for setting rules for children. If no rules are established for children during this period, it will be very difficult to set rules for children after the age of 6, and it will be painful for the parents of the children. 3. Children are not used to not doing housework. Today, there are more and more \”giant babies\” in society. Even if they become adults, they still cannot live without their parents, and even if they work, they still have to \”gnaw at the old age\”. Don\’t blame the child for becoming a \”giant baby\”. That is the \”evil result\” planted by the parents. Parents\’ excessive arrogance causes children to lose their basic ability to take care of themselves since childhood. Dr. Maria Montessori believes that “the highest goal of educating children is to enable them to be independent, mentally and materially independent of their parents, and to be responsible for their own thoughts and actions.” Therefore, after the child is 3 years old, parents must let the child learn to wear clothes, shoes, eat, and participate in some simple housework activities. Some parents may think that if they do a lot of things for their children now, they will understand it when they grow up, and it seems that it will be fine when they grow up. If you always think that many things will get better when your children grow up, then I am afraid you will be disappointed. A 20-year study by Harvard University shows that children who love doing housework have an employment rate of 15:1 compared with those who do not do housework, earn 20% more than the latter, and have happier marriages. The ancients said: \”If you don\’t clean one house, how can you sweep the world.\” Doing housework is the first step for children to become elites. 4. Children are uneducated and unaccustomed. A child who lacks education often behaves like this: he is selfish and only has eyes for himself and never considers the feelings of others; he has no sense of propriety when speaking and does not know how to respect others; he does not know how to restrain his own emotions. Emotions, temper tantrums… A child who lacks education will find it difficult to gain a foothold in society, no matter how wealthy his family is. A child\’s behavior hides his parents\’ upbringing. Especially in today\’s families, there are often several elderly people surrounding their children. Some children have been spoiled since childhood, shouting and drinking at the elderly without any respect. Parents must not spoil their children on this point. A person\’s ability determines whether a person can fly high, and a person\’s education determines whether a person can fly far. Well-educated children will have broader development prospects in the future. 5. Children have bad habits and are not used to it. It doesn’t matter how much knowledge or skills they have when they were young. What is important is to have a good habit that will accompany them throughout their lives. For example, having a plan for doing things, doing things you can do yourself, not taking things from others, being kind and humble to others, etc. These habits are the inner driving force for children to move forward in the future. If a child has bad habits, he must not get used to them. Completely different habits destined the children\’s future directions to be completely opposite. Educator Mr. Ye Shengtao said: The essence of education is to cultivate habits. There is no such thing as a natural academic master, it is just a matter of accumulation of good habits. The age of 3-6 is a critical period for the formation of children\’s rule awareness and early behavioral habits, and children of this age like to formulate and participate in rules in games and are willing to accept discipline. Parents must catchAt this opportunity, some bad habits of the child must be corrected and cannot be spoiled. No matter what, the child will be better in the future. 1. Whatever the child can do, no matter what the child\’s life path is, he can only rely on himself. Therefore, when children are very young, it is necessary to cultivate their ability to think independently and their awareness of doing their own things. \”Please help me complete it independently\”, this is the inherent requirement of every child\’s nature. Dr. Montessori said, \”Never help a child, do something he thinks he can handle.\” In Montessori kindergarten, we often encourage children to do things by themselves, and many work materials in the classroom are also taken from home. common real things. These materials are customized according to the size used by children, and are miniaturized for children to use independently. By doing things independently, children have mastered basic self-care abilities such as grasping, pinching, cutting, putting on and taking off clothes, and wiping the table. After practice, children\’s self-care ability has been greatly improved, and they have formed a labor concept of doing their own things, thus cultivating children\’s good living habits. Suhomlinsky said: \”What children try to do when they grow up, they should be allowed to do it, and give children an environment for free development to help them grow better.\” Education is such a process, let go Let the children do it by themselves, and the children will grow. 2. The setbacks that children should endure, regardless of the fact that children need \”love\” for their growth, the essence of love and the expression of love are not just giving and satisfaction, nor accommodation. You must know that children will inevitably encounter bumps and bumps on their way to growth. If parents help their children eliminate all obstacles, they will undoubtedly deprive their children of the courage to face difficulties alone, and their ability to solve problems and endure setbacks will naturally deteriorate accordingly. If a child can only accept happiness and cannot bear a little pain as he grows up, the problem is very serious. Many children lose their temper because of little things that don\’t go their way, and become depressed when they encounter a little setback. When the child is 3 years old, you can let the child experience frustration. If the child can bear some things, don\’t spoil him. For example, if the building blocks are crooked, you lose your temper or cry; if you lose the game, you will never play again… In such a situation, as a parent, you must not blindly accommodate your child, and ignore the setbacks he can bear. . 3. Children can make their own choices. No matter sometimes, children have no opinion and lack autonomy. The main reason is that parents are too \”competent\”. Everything is planned for the child, from what clothes to wear and what snacks to eat, to enrolling in tutoring classes and interest classes, everything is completely under the control of the parents. Many parents are afraid that their children will make wrong choices, so they take some detours and make plans for their children. Their intentions are good. But after all, the road must be walked by the children themselves. Parents should take the initiative to give their children the right to choose and tell them to be responsible for their own choices. As long as there is no principled error in the general direction chosen by the child, parents should let go appropriately and give the child the right and freedom to choose. Parents love their children, which is the most beautiful relationship. However, many times, parents love too deeply and too eagerly, and they can\’t wait to pave a lifelong path for their children and let them finish it in one step. But I have forgotten that being too tolerant isIndulgence, pampering too much is pampering. Far-sighted parents know how to be strict when they should be strict and let their children know what to do and what not to do. Be willing to let go when it\’s time to let go, and let your children try, experience, and exercise. Only when children have the ability to survive can they fly far away.
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