How smart parents educate their children are their \”praise teachers\”

American psychologist Rosenthal once conducted an experiment: In a certain elementary school, students from 18 classes of different grades were selected to conduct the \”Future Development Trend Test.\” After that, he handed over a list of \”the most promising students\” to the principal and relevant teachers. Eight months later, those students were tested again. It was found that students who were on the list of \”most promising\” not only made rapid progress in their grades, but also had high self-confidence. The students on that list were just randomly selected by Rosenthal. Experiments tell us: Positive psychological hints will stimulate children\’s potential and allow children to take a big step on the road to self-confidence. The famous British educator Spencer once said: \”One cheer for a child is better than a hundred reprimands, cheers and encouragement, and can help children with low self-esteem get out of the quagmire.\” Therefore, parents often praise and encourage their children, and the children will More confident and more motivated. Yin Jianli said in the book \”A Good Mother is Better than a Good Teacher\”: Appreciating a child is not just appreciating his strengths, but also how to treat his shortcomings. Smart parents will magnify their children\’s strengths and even find strengths from their shortcomings, allowing their children to increase their confidence with every compliment and continue to carry forward their strengths: they will weaken their children\’s shortcomings and will not pay too much attention to them, let alone Will laugh and ridicule. The fairy tale writer Zheng Yuanjie once said that you should \”praise your children to death\”! While other parents were praising other people\’s children, Sisi\’s parents felt that Sisi was the best girl. After entering junior high school, Sisi became obsessed with youth novels. She not only read them but also tried to write them. As a result, she delayed her studies and her grades began to decline. After the midterm exam, Sisi\’s performance ranking dropped by more than a dozen places. The class teacher asked her to go home and call her parents to talk to them about the decline in her performance. Sisi\’s parents went to school to talk to the class teacher, but Sisi was waiting at home on pins and needles, afraid that the teacher would complain and her parents would scold her when they got home. As soon as Sisi\’s parents came home, Sisi couldn\’t wait to step forward and ask, \”What did the teacher tell you?\” Her mother smiled softly and said, \”The teacher said that reading and writing novels delayed your studies, but my mother looked at you The novel I wrote is very good, the plot is very twists and turns, and the writing is also very good.\” Dad also added: \”Daughter, Dad has never read anything about Han Han or Guo Jingming, but I think your writing will definitely not be worse than them. .\” Sisi was a little embarrassed after being praised. She thought her parents would severely criticize her, but she never expected that her parents didn\’t mention the decline in her grades at all. But Sisi felt very guilty and felt that she had betrayed her parents\’ trust and that she should not delay her normal studies because of reading and writing novels. From then on, Sisi would only read novels after completing her homework, and her grades never dropped due to reading novels. Sisi\’s parents always magnify Sisi\’s advantages. Even if they want to criticize and educate Sisi, they will find the advantages from Sisi\’s shortcomings and praise Sisi. Churchill said: \”What kind of advantages you want others to have, you have to praise them accordingly.\” Many parents will feel that advantages are still advantages even if they are not praised. In fact, this is wrong. You want your child’s strengths to continue to be maintained and carried forward. It is necessary to praise and praise the children who are praised and praised,You will feel more accomplished and more confident. But this does not mean that praising children should be based on nothing, praising children should be groundless, praise and praise should not be general, but should be implemented, and children should be praised for their efforts and struggles. Don’t exaggerate your praise and appreciation, be realistic and praise your children with details. American success educator Napoleon Hill once said: \”Every child has many advantages, but parents are just the opposite. They always focus on their children\’s shortcomings. They believe that only by managing their children\’s shortcomings can they grow better. In fact, this is like a bad craftsman, it is impossible to make perfect porcelain.\” Indeed, for many parents, the advantages of their children can be summed up in one word, but the disadvantages can always be mentioned. If a child does something right, it is taken for granted, but if a child does something wrong, it is an unforgivable crime. Parents pay too much attention to their children\’s shortcomings and mistakes, which will make their children\’s shortcomings and mistakes more prominent. Over time, there will be more and more shortcomings and more mistakes will be made. After my daughter turned two years old, I started to try to let her go to bed without diapers at night and wake her up to pee in the middle of the night to exercise her toilet training. In the first few days, she was very obedient and didn\’t wet the bed. Even if I woke up in the middle of the night, she wouldn\’t cry or fuss. She would finish peeing before going to bed. But within two weeks, she started to wet the bed frequently at night, crying and fussing when I got her up. I was very angry and yelled at her several times, but it didn\’t work at all. I will continue to wet the bed next time. Later, I reflected on whether I paid too much attention to her bed-wetting, so she became more and more nervous, and the more nervous she became, the more she wet the bed. So, when she wet the bed again, I didn\’t bother her, I calmly changed the sheets, hugged her and told her that her mother had changed the wet sheets, and now the baby could sleep peacefully. She may not be Turner to understand my actions, but she knows that her mother no longer yells at her for wetting the bed. Slowly, she stopped wetting the bed. After I stopped paying attention to her bed-wetting, she gradually forgot about it, and with constant exercise, she successfully completed toilet training. Therefore, parents should not dwell on certain mistakes and shortcomings of their children, nor should they hold on to them and always use them as excuses. Smart parents will deal with their children\’s shortcomings and mistakes in a down-to-earth manner, without emphasizing, targeting, or dwelling on them. A netizen named Super Mario on Zhihu told his story. He said that he looked very abnormal when he was a child. He often behaved strangely. His parents suspected that he was mentally retarded and took him for an IQ test. The result was that his IQ was lower than 60. The doctor advised his parents to have a second child and give up on him. But his parents couldn\’t bear it, so they didn\’t have a second child, but took care of him wholeheartedly. Because of various abnormal behaviors and low intelligence, he was often bullied by his classmates, and even his teachers disliked him. But his parents did not blame or scold him for this. Instead, they always comforted him and protected him. Discovering by chance that he was interested in music, his father used two months\’ salary to buy him an electronic keyboard, and he had an electronic keyboard. He seemed to suddenly become enlightened. Once, the teacher only played the beginning of the song, and he played all the rest. The teacher praised him as a genius. becauseWith the enlightenment of music, he seemed to be slowly enlightened in his studies. Later, a local mathematics competition was held, and his parents encouraged him to sign up. He participated with a playful attitude, but he came first. The parents of netizen Super Mario did not cling to his abnormal behavior, nor did they give up on him because of his low intelligence. Constantly weaken his shortcomings and mistakes, and prevent him from feeling inferior because of these, and prevent him from giving up on himself because of these. Finally, netizen Super Mario became a doctoral student in condensed matter physics studying in the United States. Your attitude towards your child\’s shortcomings affects the child\’s attitude towards his own shortcomings. If you weaken your child\’s shortcomings, he will no longer pay too much attention to them and will slowly change them. As a parent, you should not emphasize too much or blame your children\’s shortcomings and mistakes too much. Giving your children more praise and encouragement will make them more confident. But this does not mean that parents should ignore their children\’s shortcomings and mistakes. It just means that parents should not pay too much attention to their children\’s shortcomings and mistakes, as this will increase the child\’s psychological pressure. Treat the child\’s shortcomings and deal with the child\’s mistakes with a relaxed and expectant attitude, which will not hurt the child\’s self-esteem, but will also let the child know where he made a mistake and correct it. Smart parents magnify their children\’s strengths, let them know that they are excellent, and should continue to remain excellent. Smart parents weaken their children\’s shortcomings, let them know their mistakes, and then accept and correct them. Smart parents are the \”evaluators\” of their children\’s lives! Hello everyone, I am Beaver Mom. I remember many years ago when my son was learning calligraphy, on the first day of class he showed me his homework as if it were a treasure. At that time, I was young and vigorous. When I saw the word \”spider crawling\” he carefully wrote, I couldn\’t help but tell him that the horizontal writing was uneven and the vertical writing was not straight. As a result, his happy smile suddenly stopped smiling. I instantly realized that what I did had affected the child\’s self-confidence. Later, every time the child got his homework, I would first praise the child and then tactfully point out his shortcomings. Now that my son has grown up, looking back, I find that his confident and optimistic character has a lot to do with the daily encouragement from my father and me. Have you ever had such an experience with your children?