How terrible is the influence of the original family? Influence the fate of children and determine their life

Satya, the master of family therapy, once said: \”A person is inextricably linked to his family of origin, and this connection may affect his life.\” The imprint of the family of origin will really be passed down from generation to generation. Everyone has their own family of origin, and to a greater or lesser extent, they continue to \”pass on\” the influence of their family of origin to their children. What kind of cause is sown will bear what kind of fruit. The appearance of every child is the upbringing of their original family. As Dr. Montessori said, everything we do to a child will bear fruit, not only affecting his life, but also determining his life. The family of origin affects the destiny of the child. The first thing everyone receives from birth is family education, and the one that is most affected is family education. The appearance of parents determines the fate of their children. Some parents nag their children every day, \”You have to study hard,\” but they themselves are indolent and unwilling to make progress; some parents, when they see their children fascinated by playing games, yell angrily, but they themselves take the money every day. You are scrolling through Weibo and watching short videos on your phone; if you can’t set an example yourself, what qualifications do you have to ask your children? Children\’s cognition has always been derived from the subtle influence of their parents. It is impossible for any outstanding child to be born out of nowhere. Every word and deed of parents will be engraved in the heart of the child, becoming the background of the child\’s life and affecting his destiny. \”Talented Woman of the Republic of China\” Lin Huiyin is a famous architect, poet and writer. The reason why she has such knowledge is inseparable from her father\’s education and influence. Lin Huiyin was born in a scholarly family of officials. His father, Lin Changmin, graduated from Japan\’s Waseda University. He was good at poetry, calligraphy, and served as the chief justice of the Beiyang government. Lin Huiyin has a very deep relationship with her father, and she has been deeply influenced by her father since she was a child. Lin Changmin went to Japan to study when Lin Huiyin was two years old. Every letter he sent back was written to his parents, but it had a great impact on his daughter. Lin Huiyin has been influenced by her father\’s letters criticizing current ills, discussing politics, and expressing his ambitions since she was a child, and it also cultivated her progressive thoughts and patriotism. When he was 16 years old, Lin Huiyin traveled to various European countries with his father, gaining knowledge and experiencing Western civilization. During this period, Lin Huiyin\’s overall view has been greatly improved. It was her father\’s cultivation of Lin Huiyin\’s independent thinking that laid an indispensable foundation for her future achievements. Third-rate parents serve as nannies, second-rate parents serve as coaches, and first-rate parents serve as role models. There is an old saying in China, \”A tiger father has no dog sons\”, which explains clearly that the character of parents will directly affect the growth of a child and even determine his future. The formation of a child\’s character is deeply influenced by the family of origin. The words and deeds of parents hide the child\’s understanding of the future. Your words and deeds will penetrate into every detail of your child\’s growth like water drops. It not only affects the development of children\’s character and the formation of three views, but also affects the children\’s infinite possible future life. Dr. Montessori said: Every character defect is caused by some kind of wrong treatment experienced by children in early childhood. Psychology also believes that any mental illness can be traced back to childhood trauma. A casual word or action from a parent,It may leave a huge shadow in the child\’s heart, affecting the child\’s psychology and spirit throughout his life. Singer Jam Hsiao had been in a juvenile detention center before becoming famous. He once revealed in an interview that when he was a child, he often smoked, fought, and skipped classes, and he got into bad habits at a young age. His father\’s discipline method is also relatively rough. For Xiao Jingteng, being beaten is a common occurrence. He can be beaten for anything, and he doesn\’t understand what he has done wrong at all. Day after day, all he heard were harsh insults, making the seemingly delicate Xiao Jingteng become extremely rebellious. The lack of love in childhood eventually created a black hole in Xiao Jingteng\’s heart. He was worried that he would not be able to be a qualified father. He even bluntly stated in the interview that \”the child I gave birth to will definitely be a bad guy\” and that he has no plans to have children in the future. If Xiao Jingteng hadn\’t met a good teacher in a juvenile detention center and changed his life, he would have fallen like other lost teenagers. This teacher subtly replaced his father\’s image, repairing the flaws brought to him by his native family; allowing him to find his own specialty and start his own legendary music era. A person\’s character is deeply influenced by his family of origin. Sometimes it is like this, one thought becomes a devil or one thought becomes a Buddha, and the family of origin directly affects and even determines the fate of the child. What kind of family is best for the growth of children? You are now your child\’s original family. Lucky people use their childhood to heal their lives, and unfortunate people use their lives to heal their childhood. Hopefully, your child is the lucky one. What kind of family of origin is best for the growth of children? 1. A family with happy parents. A complete family cannot be run without the joint efforts of parents. In \”The Three of Us\”, Yang Jiang described the happy life of their family of three: Our family is very simple; the three of us are very simple. We have nothing to do with the world or fight with others. We just want to be together, stay together, and do what we can. When we encounter difficulties, we bear them together, and the difficulties are no longer difficult; when we help each other, no matter what is bitter or difficult, it can become sweet. If we are a little happy, we will become very happy. Only in such a loving and warm family life can children feel love. Every word and deed of parents will affect their children. A happy marriage between parents is undoubtedly the best environment for children to grow up. 2. A well-spoken family without yelling or yelling is a practice for every parent. As parents, our biggest mistake is to give our worst temper and worst side to the people closest to us, while leaving our patience and tolerance to strangers. Outside, you are a professional manager, meeting customers, chatting and laughing with colleagues, and being attentive and enthusiastic. When you return home, you are with your lover and children, but you turn a blind eye and are relatively speechless. Sometimes, even yelling at the people closest to me. These inadvertent actions on your part will cause irreparable harm to your children. Because there is love, every word must be said well. 3. A family with emotionally stable parents. A family with parents who are emotionally stable is lucky for a child\’s life. This is also the best gift parents can give their children to grow up. An education expert once said that educating children is nothing more thanJust talk to him well, don\’t be anxious and don\’t get angry. If you do this, you will be 80% successful. A gentle and loving parent will give their children a relaxed and happy family atmosphere. Children who grow up in such an environment must be sunny, confident and happy. On the contrary, an emotionally out-of-control parent will pass on negative energy to the child. Over time, the child will become more anxious, sensitive, and have low self-esteem, which may even affect the child\’s lifelong personality. The family of origin is the background of a child\’s life and affects the child\’s life. Your parenting style affects your child\’s future; the more you invest in educating your child, the better your child will be.