How to activate and develop children’s self-confidence and self-discipline

Let’s first think about what kind of parent we are. Are we strict controlling parents who are dissatisfied if their children don’t come out on top, or nanny-type parents who blindly dote on their children and take care of everything for their children? Children who grow up under the strict control of their parents are prone to lack of self-confidence and are overly depressed, and the children will lose themselves. Under the pampering and doting of their parents, children who grow up tend to be blindly confident, have no rules and lack self-discipline in doing things. No matter which one of self-confidence and self-discipline is lacking, it will be detrimental to the growth of a child. Only a confident and self-disciplined person can become a strong person in life. How to make children both confident and self-disciplined? Today I will share with you how to activate children\’s self-confidence and self-discipline. Children who live in a family full of love and appreciation are usually more confident. Every parent loves their children, but not every child can feel the love of their parents. What can be done to make children feel the love of their parents? Where is love? We all know that feelings come from the heart, and feelings expressed through our bodies are emotions. When parents see and accept their children\’s emotions, the children can feel cared for, valued and loved. A child who can feel love, He will feel that I am worthy of being loved and that I am valuable. A person who believes that he is valuable behaves confidently. For example, if a person believes that he is valuable and important at home, he will be at home. Act confident. If a person believes that he is valuable in the workplace, he will behave confidently in the workplace. Therefore, if parents want to cultivate confident children, they must first learn to accept and understand their children\’s emotions. This is how American mothers teach self-confidence in a three-part way to download pdf electronic version and accept their children’s emotions: 1. See. Second, expression verification. Third, feel the same. Parents express their feelings. For example, if a child is unhappy when he returns home, the mother can say to the child, \”You look angry today (see). Did something happen to make you feel uncomfortable (expression check)?\” Mom, I am also worried when I see you are unhappy (I feel the same way). Parents must learn to accept and respect their children\’s emotions. Accepting their children\’s emotions means accepting their children as a person. The children will feel that they are valued and valued. Children are confident, and parents\’ unconditional acceptance of their children\’s emotions will cause their children\’s brains to release more positive emotions. The positive emotions in their hearts will drive their children\’s positive behaviors. On the contrary, negative emotions will bring about negative behaviors. There is no right or wrong in emotions, but there are right and wrong behaviors. Especially in the growth process of children, it is very necessary to restrain children\’s behavior. By restraining children\’s behavior, children can understand self-discipline. So how to restrain children\’s behavior? We must know how to set rules for our children. Pay attention to the following five points when setting rules for your children: First, when parents set rules for their children, the boundaries must be clear. Setting rules is to set boundaries for children\’s behavior, so that children know what they can and cannot do. Real rules cannot be separated from love, and real love cannot be separated from rules. Setting rules is not to limit children, but to Cultivate children\’s ability to adapt to society based on love, let children feel that rules are a part of love and freedom, and be wise when setting rules for children.The child consciously abides by the rules. In the British documentary \”Children\’s Small Universe\”, there is a scene where the teacher called the children to sit together and tell them about the game tasks. Among them, a boy named Feiban was unwilling to sit down obediently. He kept talking about Running around in the classroom, the teacher looked at Fei Ban calmly, and then said to him gently, Fei Ban, it\’s not fair for you to make other people wait! Let us pay attention to what the teacher said. The teacher did not say that you must sit still during class, not run around, and return to your seat quickly. He also did not say that if you see other children doing well, why are you the naughtiest? So disobedient? He did not use the two methods we often use when setting rules for children, blaming and comparing. Instead, he gave Feiban a criterion for judgment. Why can\’t you do this? Because you affect others and it is unfair to others. The difference between the two is that the former makes children obedient and the latter makes children behave. Children\’s obedience is based on the fear of their parents, while obeying the rules is based on the child\’s self-discipline. Children\’s obedience is a passive restraint, and obeying the rules is the child\’s active choice. Second, when parents set rules for their children, the direction and reasons must be clear. As a child grows up, he is unclear about the boundaries of many behaviors. He does not know what can and cannot be done. Parents impose restrictions on their children\’s behavior and must clearly tell their children what behaviors are acceptable. , why is this behavior acceptable, what behavior is unacceptable, and what are the reasons why it is not acceptable. For example, you can’t throw eggs or bang dishes, but you can throw pillows and beat drums because Throwing eggs will stain the floor and the floor will need to be mopped again. Banging the dishes and chopsticks will be impolite. Throwing pillows will not stain the floor. Drums must be struck to make sound. For example, if a child eats two ice creams a day and wants to eat a third one, his parents refuse and give him an explanation, telling him that eating too much ice cream will cause stomachache and that he will never be able to eat delicious ice cream again. Third, parents must set comprehensive rules for their children. Parents should not only restrict certain rules when setting rules. For example, when the children are playing and you see your older brother throwing stones at your younger brother, you must clearly tell your older brother that you are not allowed to throw stones at your younger brother, as this will hurt your younger brother. Don\’t throw big stones, don\’t throw small stones, you can\’t throw stones at your younger brother, you can\’t throw stones like your parents, grandparents, and you can\’t throw stones at neighbors and passers-by. Fourth, once rules are established, they must be strictly enforced. Parents are their children\’s first teachers, and family is their children\’s first school. Once parents set rules for their children, they must never be changed, no matter how time, place, or the objects change. Parents must adhere to principles and not let their children feel that the rules can be shaken after crying and making a fuss. For example, if parents do not let their children eat sweets, they will go to their grandparents and cry for them. If the educational concepts among family members are not unified, Change the place and the object, and the rules will no longer exist. This phenomenon must be prohibited, and the rules set must be strictly enforced. For example, littering and wasting food are not allowed at home or outside. Today No, not even tomorrow. At the same time, noIt’s just that children must abide by the rules, but parents must also abide by them. For example, some parents don’t read or study, but they ask their children to read and study hard. They play with mobile phones every day, but ask their children not to touch their mobile phones. When parents quarrel at home, they use swear words, but they don’t. Children are required to speak politely and civilized. If parents do not lead by example, children will feel that their parents are not worthy of respect, and naturally they do not need to strictly follow the rules they set. Fifth, the tone must be firm when setting rules. Parents\’ firm tone of voice will send a message to their children, which must be done. If parents are hesitant when speaking, it will make the children feel that the rules are not strict and can be broken. Once a child senses the unsteady tone of his parents, he will become more and more unscrupulous and will never give up until he achieves his goals. A mother said helplessly that her daughter originally said she would go to bed after watching a good episode of cartoons, but after finishing one episode, she wanted to watch another episode. Her daughter cried pitifully and fussed, even hugging her. Legs, no matter what I say, she won’t listen! This mother had no choice but to compromise and let her children watch cartoons. This mother did not know that if she broke the rules this time, she would do the same next time. There are many parents who always feel that the rules are established, but they can\’t stick to it. The parents\’ inconsistent rules will affect the child\’s ability to control himself. In fact, it is not that the child is disobedient, nor does it mean that the child ignores the rules, but that the parents do not follow through on their words. The child will feel that the parents are just talking, and they will not follow the rules. Will take it seriously. When a child grows up, he will not know how to follow the rules. Now if he does not follow the rules, the parents can tolerate him. When the child enters the society, no one is willing to tolerate a person who does not follow the rules, so there is nothing learned from the parents. He will go to society to pay tuition and make up for this lesson at the cost of his own life. Recommended must-read parenting books for parents: Don’t Think You Understand Your Children’s Mind e-book download. Psychologist Erikson mentioned in “Developmental Psychology” that parents must not let their children’s demands go unchecked, as this will be detrimental to children. of socialization. On the contrary, if it is too strict, it will make the child ashamed. Parents must grasp the scale, so as to help shape the child\’s good character. Therefore, setting rules for the child cannot be arbitrary or capricious. It must be conducive to the child\’s growth. It helps to shape children\’s good character. It is necessary to establish clear, comprehensive and consistent rules based on understanding and love. Children should be allowed to abide by them voluntarily. The process of observing rules is the process of establishing self-adjustment standards in children\’s hearts. In this way As a child, he will become more and more self-disciplined. A confident and self-disciplined person will be able to create a successful and happy life. If parents change a little, their children will benefit for life! On the road of growth, we walk together!