How to communicate with adolescent children? Recommended to collect~

01 Some adolescent depression can be improved in this way. Parents ask, a girl in the second grade of junior high school often gets angry for a long time because of our words. Very common words, such as \”I won\’t wait for you if you keep grinding\”, she thinks it is scolding her, because She always looks very decadent, coaxing her to the point of physical and mental exhaustion, do I need to see a psychiatrist… 1. I have written a lot about early childhood education in the past few years, the \”oil tank theory\”, which is to give children an oil tank of love and fun. Fill up the tank. The child seems to have insufficient energy, is unable to do things, and is always unhappy and troublesome. Parents should think comprehensively about: physical fitness (exercising more, eating healthily), family atmosphere, how the parents are doing, and whether their daily activities are rich and interesting… In many families, The atmosphere is serious and boring, one task after another every day. After the children go to school, the school environment and atmosphere, the number of tasks and the level of pressure should also be considered. It is to understand the overall living environment of the child and see what can be improved. 2. How to communicate with children. We must learn and do it well after more than ten years. \”I won\’t wait for you if you keep nagging me.\” I really don\’t talk to my children like this. Tell her what time it is, and if you really can\’t wait, tell her clearly. If you can\’t wait for her, then don\’t say that. Be late when you should be late. Don\’t say everything with emotion. The most basic thing about communication is sincerity, and every sentence should be what you really want to express. Secondly, think about the purpose of speaking and what effect this sentence can actually achieve. Did you teach her time management, or does she feel disgusted by you? Carrying negative emotions will not bring strength to the child, but will only weaken the energy. 3. Children in adolescence have rapid mood changes, and it is normal for them to be cloudy and sunny at one time or another. Parents should be more stable and let the climate be stable and sunny. Teach children more about identifying and adjusting emotions. Doing something when you are unhappy can help and keep accumulating experience. If you pay attention to and adjust the above, there will usually be changes. Of course, it must be analyzed in detail. If the degree is particularly serious and lasts for a long time, we must also pay attention to it. 02 The past ten years are the foundation for communicating with adolescent children. The past ten years are the foundation for communicating with adolescent children. The foundations include: mutual trust, the ability to speak clearly and communication skills. Both parties need to have communication skills. For example, whether the child can clearly explain his current emotions and thoughts, what is the specific point of confusion about something, what is the original background of the incident, what kind of help does he want from his parents, or what do he want his parents to do. Can parents ask and express without emotion, speak out their own thoughts, give the information their children need, and distinguish between what you should do and what is the child\’s business…Can both parties speak out on the premise of mutual respect? If you have different ideas, put forward your respective reasons, discuss them together, and analyze the pros and cons. Still, every time it was a heated argument, but nothing was resolved. Expressive communication skills should be practiced from an early age. Adults do it first and demonstrate it. 03 Tips for parents of middle school students. Many parents of middle school students hide from their children when they start talking. If you don\’t want to do this, try to do only the following when communicating with your children: 1. Share your own experiences, anecdotes, progress and gains (if you want to have material, we must first live our own lives)Live) 2. Listen carefully with attention, express understanding and empathy for the child\’s feelings. Encourage him to talk more and put his feelings into words. 3. Be sincerely interested in his hobbies, friends, and things he is passionate about. Try to see the positive side of these things about him. 4. Only give advice when he asks for your advice and help when he asks for help. Just try to do only the above. Try it and see if you can do it in a day or half a day. For some principled matters and key decisions, parents should clearly state their opinions and your requirements for them. Of course you can say this, but don’t be afraid to say it because you are a parent. But in daily conversations, just talk more about the above, instead of preaching every sentence. Your example, understanding and empathy, as well as your recognition of the hobbies and friends he has found on his own, are all giving him strength and are better education than preaching. They are all more valuable than worrying about the rights and wrongs of specific little things. Maintaining a good parent-child relationship, giving your child space to solve problems on his own, and having patience and confidence in his growth will help him develop better in adolescence. 04 It is not easy to be a parent with 60 points, and to be a mother with 70 or 80 points, especially when you see a little problem in your child. Because parents will always reflect on what I have not done well and what else I can do… Then they will want to achieve 70 or 80 points. However, often the more you do, the less conducive it is to your child’s growth. He will have more pressure and less room for autonomy. This creates a cycle. At this time, we ourselves need to stop this cycle, take back the focus and put it on ourselves. What\’s wrong with parents who score 80 points? For example: I don’t trust the father to take care of the children, so I take care of them all myself. Don\’t dare to let go of your child and do everything for him. Unable to accept the various imperfections in children\’s growth. Not accepting him for who he really is. Always be in control. Do not trust the child\’s ability to grow, stay with him all the time, guide everything, and dare not leave, which ultimately leads to a long-term symbiosis…