How to correct a child’s procrastination

If we were to rank the most annoying problems for children, procrastination would definitely be in the top three. I believe that many parents have this experience: they are extremely anxious and try their best to urge their children, but the children are still slow. How to do it? Let’s take a look at parents’ practical experience! Reward system + group competition My daughter inherited her father’s chronicity, but I am an impatient person who pays attention to high efficiency. Being with her makes me dizzy. It takes 20 minutes to chew an egg, a bowl of noodle soup at the fastest 30 minutes, and it takes half an hour to get out of bed after getting dressed… Teachers often talk to me: \”My child writes too slowly in class. Others have finished, and she I\’m only halfway done, and there are still mistakes!\” \”I wrote the exam too slowly, and I didn\’t have time to write the last two big questions!\” I was beaten, scolded, reasoned, and soft strategies changed. I\’ve used it, but it just doesn\’t work fast. Then I thought of a few tricks: First, in order to solve the problem of slow eating, I signed up a small dining table for her. The teacher said that she was not slow at all in eating. On the first day with her brothers and sisters, she was the first to finish the meal and she ate a lot. I think that at the small dining table, she hopes to surpass the children who are older than her. Competition will give her motivation. When she realizes \”I am so awesome\”, she will naturally become more confident. Second, the reward system. I made a performance calendar for her about eating and doing homework. It\’s a good meal. I can finish it in half an hour and draw a little smile on my face. If you get a certain number of smiling faces every week, you can buy something she wants, or go to the zoo or amusement park with her. This method works immediately, but you can’t stick to it. Because it is too difficult for her to eat and do homework, she would rather not receive rewards. Third, let her compete with her brother. Many times, my father and I also join in and compete in groups. My brother and I were in a group, and she was in a group with her father. If one person was slow, the whole group would lose and have to be punished. A daughter loves her father the most, so she cannot let her father lose. Having a goal will give her motivation. After a period of practice, she can now get out of bed quickly every morning, wash her face and sit down at the dining table. When it\’s time to go to school, she can pack it up early, so she doesn\’t have to wait any longer. I can finish my homework very quickly, and my schoolbag can be organized very well as required. Correcting Unreasonable Habitual Thinking My son is in the second grade of elementary school. He is a chronic person who does things at a slow pace and always likes to dilly-dally. I am generally very kind to my son, but occasionally I get angry, mostly because of my indolence. I always felt that he should start doing something serious, but he would do this and that for a while, and I finally couldn\’t help but yell at him. Fortunately, as soon as his anger was released, he immediately knew that he was wrong and could only apologize to his son. After many reflections, I discovered that I had two unreasonable habitual thoughts. The first unreasonable habitual thought: Time is tight, so we should hurry up. The few times I got angry were because I felt I was pressed for time, so I was a little anxious. In fact, time is not as tight as imagined. Even if it delays for three or five minutes, it doesn\’t matter. So, later I told myself: don’t rush, it doesn’t matter if you delay for three to five minutes. If you recite silently like this, you will naturally become less likely to get angry. The second irrational habitual thought: It’s time to start. Seeing that my son hadn\’t started yet, my emotions gradually accumulated until I got angry. I later reflected:The child has his own rhythm, he can have his own plans and arrangements, and there is a reason for what he is doing. Once, my son was looking up information about school homework online. More than half an hour passed and he only completed two small parts. I was a little angry at first, but then I thought about it, it was actually the same when I was surfing the Internet. I had something to do, but when I browsed to the part I was interested in, I would look at it for a while. Once you understand, you won\’t be so angry. In the future, you can pay attention to appropriate reminders and gradually develop a habit. Moreover, it is difficult for me to get up early. It is normal for children to lie in bed for a while, so I am not as anxious as before. Seeing that it was late, instead of angrily punishing him for walking to school, he gave him a ride. My understanding and tolerance made my children realize it and began to try to change. Our parent-child relationship also became harmonious. Change the strategy and establish the concept of time. The child eats slowly, sometimes taking an hour to eat a meal, and does homework slowly. Other children\’s homework takes 40 minutes, but my children have to do it for an hour. I urged beside me, \”Bao, hurry up! You are the only one left. Why are you so slow!\” At first, the child was obedient and tried to hurry up, but later he turned a deaf ear and had no effect at all. I began to study why children are so slow, and found out: First, children have no sense of time, and second, children pursue perfection in everything they do and are quite serious. In response to the children\’s problems, I have taken the following measures: First, strengthen the concept of time and set time for doing things. For example, when you get up and put on clothes, I tell the child, Mom will time you now, and the timer will sound every 5 minutes. The child was surprised: \”So 5 minutes is so short!\” Establishing the concept of time for children can help them realize that they know how to seize the time and learn to use time in everything they do. Second, be responsible for the consequences and get rid of your usual habit of urging your children. In the past, I always urged my children. The children were annoyed and the adults were impatient, but the effect was not obvious. Later I changed my strategy. Take eating as an example. I tell my children that you still have 15 minutes to eat. After 15 minutes, you will be late for school. I will not rush the children in the middle. After the child is late this time, he will know how to seize the time next time. Third, in response to my child\’s procrastination in doing homework, I adjusted the order. When I got home, I would review my homework first and then do my homework. In this way, the homework will be done with ease. For some questions that you don\’t know, let go first and write about the questions that you know how to write. After you finish writing, you can go back and study the questions that you don\’t know about. Make a rule for your children in advance that homework will be written until 9 o\’clock at the latest. After 9 o\’clock, no matter whether it is finished or not, no more writing is allowed. They must wash up and go to bed. It should be noted that parents must be ruthless during this process. Don\’t rush to hurry up when your child is running late. We must have principles for our children and let them learn to manage their own time. Patient guidance and flexible adjustments. My child is in the fourth grade of elementary school. He doesn’t have much homework, but because of procrastination, he has to write until more than 10 o’clock every day. I was anxious for him, so I had to scold him. After a long time, the child does not take it seriously, and no amount of training will work. I\’m really afraid that my child\’s lack of rest will affect his ability to attend class the next day. I began to observe the children\’s homework. I basically did three homeworks every day, Chinese, mathematics, and English. The child likes English and replies every dayAt home, I do my English homework first, then Chinese. These two subjects are relatively easy, and I do my math homework after dinner. Because mathematics requires thinking and calculation, children start to struggle when it comes to mathematics. I discussed with my child and asked him to go home and write the most difficult math homework first, and then write the relatively simple English and Chinese homework. In this way, the more the child writes, the more relaxed he will feel. When the child writes in a relaxed and happy mood about English and Chinese that he is good at, he will feel that the homework is easy to complete, and the homework time will be shortened. After following the above method for a while, my child and I made a new agreement: complete all homework before 9 pm, and if you can persist for a week, you will be given some small rewards. If you can\’t finish writing before 9 o\’clock, don\’t stop writing. Just tell the teacher that you can\’t finish writing. The fourth-grade child still has some self-esteem. Of course he doesn\’t want to be criticized by the teacher, so all the homework can be completed before 9 o\’clock. One time he started to dawdle again, so I didn\’t rush him. When the time was up, I just put the unfinished homework into my schoolbag. Since then, the child has taken his homework more seriously and finished it very early. The simplest and most effective concentration training Schulte grid game collection: Alarm clock timer + Schulte grid game. Children feel that things are slower than ordinary people. One hour of homework can take 3 hours to complete. The reasons for being slow are: not being able to do the questions; lack of concentration, too many irrelevant actions; and no sense of time. There is another very important reason: I am too impatient and not patient enough. I will change myself first, be more patient, and even if I am anxious, I will not show it in front of my children. The child was about to start homework, and I asked her how long it would take. She said, half an hour. I took the alarm clock and set it for half an hour. The bell rang, half an hour was up, and she hadn\’t finished her homework because she didn\’t know how to do the rest. I opened the textbook, found a few similar questions from the textbook, explained them to her, and then asked her to write the questions in the homework. I told her that there was progress and it was faster than before. After finishing homework, there will be several sets of Schulte grid games and 1 minute of special training. See how many arithmetic problems the child can do in one minute and how many Chinese characters he can write in one minute. In this way, treat daily homework as a test and complete it on time. If you are not good at it, do special training and then complete it. The children are doing their homework faster and faster, their Schulte grid game skills have improved greatly, and they can do more oral arithmetic problems and write more Chinese characters in one minute.