How to cultivate a self-disciplined child? Parents only need to do two things, preferably before the child is 12 years old.

Many parents complain that their children are too undisciplined. He had to be urged to do anything, and he stayed up for a long time in the morning. When he finally got up, you had to rush him to wash his face, brush his teeth, and eat breakfast. When he comes home from school every day, if you don\’t urge him to do his homework, he will just keep playing and have no consciousness of learning at all. And if you are busy at work one day and don\’t keep an eye on him, he will lie down directly. When you get home, you will find that he has not started doing his homework yet. If the child is not self-disciplined, the parents will be very tired. In order to get their children to take action, many parents can only keep an eye on their children, make detailed plans for their children, and list out what they should do in each period of time. But you will soon find that the schedule itself is prepared for self-disciplined people, and is of no use to children who are not self-disciplined. So how to make children self-disciplined? In fact, it\’s not difficult at all. Parents only need to do two things well. You don\’t need to use all your efforts to cultivate a self-disciplined child. If these two things can be done before the child enters junior high school, the effect will be the best. The first thing: let the children have strong motivation. An author in a TED talk once told such a story. There was a child named Lucas who used to be bohemian and played every night. Later, his mother died of illness. He became the head of the family and had to take on family responsibilities and take care of himself and his sister. He found a full-time job during the summer vacation. He did not give up any opportunity to make money. After school started, he changed to a part-time job. He acted strictly according to the schedule every day, never skipped classes, took into account study and work, and provided for himself and his sister. Prepare breakfast and dinner. This kind of life lasted throughout his college life. He finally graduated with honors and got a high-paying job. His sister later also went to college. They each got married and lived a prosperous life. Lucas\’ self-discipline allowed him to turn from the bottom of his life to becoming the master of his own life, and the key to his reversal lies in his strong motivation. Because his mother passed away, his responsibility as the head of the family and taking care of his sister has always led him to constantly challenge himself and complete seemingly impossible tasks. Strong motivation can stimulate people\’s potential. If we want children to be highly self-disciplined in learning, we must let them understand why they need to study. Only when children find the answer to this question can they truly learn consciously and from the heart. Thing 2: Develop appropriate strategies for your children. Everyone has discovered that many top-achieving children are very self-disciplined. For example, go to bed early and get up early, exercise every day, read after class, complete homework on time, review and preview, and summarize and review regularly. Each task requires a high degree of self-discipline and a large amount of willpower. How strong is the willpower of these children? Can they be so strong that they are so self-disciplined in every aspect? One of their tips is to start by focusing on one thing. For example, go to bed early and get up early. After turning it into a habit, do the next thing. Another example is skipping rope 200 times a day. After skipping becomes a habit, you can add new tasks, and so on. When a behavior becomes a habit, it will form inertia, and people will do it automatically and spontaneously.The intervention of force will become less, and at this time, willpower can be transferred to new tasks. In this way, you continue to unlock self-discipline projects. Parents can use circle of friends check-in or video check-in to encourage children to persist until the task becomes a habit. There are too many temptations around children now. The influence of games, TV, toys, and peers can destroy the little self-discipline they have just established at any time. Therefore, before children develop complete self-discipline, parents need to supervise and urge their children at all times. Let’s take homework as an example. Many children will consciously do their homework after being supervised by their parents for a period of time. However, if the parents let the children take care of themselves and let them manage themselves, then the children will most likely return to their original form after a period of time. Parents must wait until their children have internalized his laws into a stable inner order before they can withdraw. This process begins in kindergarten and continues at least until the child is 12 years old or later. After the age of 12, when children enter junior high school, their learning style will change from teachers and parents supervising learning to independent learning. At this time, it is time for self-discipline to come into play. If children are not taught self-discipline before the age of 12, then after the age of 12, when the children enter adolescence, it will become more difficult for parents to restrain their children. The stricter the parents control, the more rebellious the children will be. Any self-discipline actually starts from heteronomy. Regarding self-discipline and heterodiscipline, Sa Beining has a vivid metaphor: Before Sun Wukong became a Buddha, he had been wearing a tight-band curse. The tight-band curse is heterodiscipline, and the advanced self-discipline is Tang Monk. You don’t need to tell him, why do you want to seek Buddhist scriptures? There is no need to remind him that no matter what difficulties and dangers he will encounter on the way to obtain scriptures, he will move towards the goal without hesitation. Our children are like Sun Wukong, smart, but with many bad habits. In order for children to achieve a high degree of self-discipline, parents and children need to continue to practice.