How to cultivate a sound personality and mental health education for children before the age of 10

Professor Li Meijin gave a speech some time ago: \”Character determines destiny more than ability.\” In fact, before a child is 10 years old, the most important thing is not toys or grades, nor school districts and interest classes, but psychological education and character development. . 01 It is better to count ten pieces than to win one piece. The famous American psychologist Rosenthal once conducted such an experiment: He randomly divided a group of white mice into two groups, and told the breeders of group A that the mice in this group were very smart; at the same time, he told the breeders of group B that the mice in this group were very smart. The reporter said: The mice in this group have average intelligence. A few months later, the two groups of mice were tested through a maze, and it was found that the mice in group A were actually smarter than those in group B. They could get out of the maze first and find the food. So Professor Rosenthal was inspired. He came to an ordinary middle school, walked casually in a class, and then circled 18 names on the student list and told their teacher: These The students have very high IQs and are very smart. After a while, a miracle happened again, and the 18 selected students now really became the best in the class. Smart parents should pass on expectations and love to their children instead of denying and suppressing them. Recommended children\’s picture books: Baby Psychological Growth Picture Books Volume 3 [Set of 12 volumes] \”I believe you can do it well!\” When you have expectations for your child, he will come in the direction you expect. 02 A common refrain from parents is that the child will suffer internal injuries for 30 years. \”Pig brain\”, \”You are too stupid\”, \”I am doing this for your own good\”, \”If you keep doing this, I will…\” Before the age of 10, children\’s self-confidence, self-esteem and sense of value are established by the evaluation of people around them. of. Don\’t label your children arbitrarily. If you always shout \”idiot\” to your children, over time, your children may become dull and become so-called \”idiots\”. 03 Cultivating children’s interest in learning and lifelong learning ability is more important than grades. Psychologist Desi once told a fable: A group of children played in front of an old man\’s door, and the old man couldn\’t bear it. So, he gave each child 10 cents and said to them: \”Thank you for coming to accompany me. My place is very lively.\” The children were very happy and continued to make noise the next day. The old man gave each child 5 cents. On the third day, the old man only gave each child 2 cents. The children were furious, \”It\’s only 2 cents. Do you know how hard we worked? We will never play for you again!\” The old man took the children\’s insides. The motivation of \”playing for one\’s own happiness\” has become the external motivation of \”playing for money\”; and since he controls the amount of money, he naturally controls the child\’s behavior. In the same way, if parents often say to their children: \”If you can score 100 points in the test this time, I will reward you with 100 yuan.\” \”If you get into the top 3, I will reward you with a new toy.\” Such improper reward mechanisms will make children My interest in learning has diminished little by little. Rewards from parents can be helpful to learning, such as books and learning tools, but it is best not to give rewards that are not related to learning. 04 Children hope that everyone’s love for them will “continuously increase” rather than “continuously decrease”. Have you ever noticed that when weighing melon seeds and candies, the salesperson first grabs a small pile and then adds it little by little?How much easier would it be for you to accept it psychologically if you take a large handful and take it away slowly? This is the \”increase or decrease effect\”. In the same way, when talking about problems, we cannot \”praise first and then criticize\”. Instead, you should first say something that does not hurt your dignity, and then give appropriate praise, and the child will be more likely to accept it. 05 Parental love should be unconditional, and respect for children should also be unconditional. We should not love our children because they are obedient, we should not appreciate them because they have achieved certain results, and we should not beat or scold them just because they fail to satisfy us. You should take getting along with your children seriously, don\’t be careless about your children\’s needs, and don\’t let your children be placed in a sophisticated room but become a spiritual \”left-behind child.\” 06 Education, experience, reflection, summary; education, experience, reflection, summary; education, experience, reflection, summary (say important things three times). When a child makes a mistake, the parents will criticize the same thing once, twice, three times, or even multiple times, and the child will go from feeling guilty to restless to impatient to disgusting. When you are \”forced\”, you will have the mentality of \”I have to do this\”. Therefore, if you make a mistake once, just criticize it once. If you have to repeat it, you need to change the angle and put it in another way instead of holding on to the same mistake. 07I will not be absent from your childhood. A pair of good parents is better than 100 good teachers. Educating children is not about attending classes. You can educate them by making a phone call. You can educate them by sending a look. Getting along with your children is a good opportunity for education. The length of education is not determined by the length of time. The key depends on whether the parents pay attention and whether they know how to educate. Parents who say they don’t have time to educate their children will not be able to educate their children well even if they have time. 08 Bottom-line education and sunshine education are indispensable for both boys and girls. \”Our education seems to lack everything except sex education.\” Education is not just books, it should also include ethics, respect, tolerance, equality and recognition. It is not just physical education for men and women, but also education about sexual intimacy, self-protection and gender equality. Every parent should: don’t panic, smile, and face things head-on without shrinking. 09 A good circle is very important, especially for children. A good circle can help children become progressive, self-disciplined, and work tirelessly towards their goals. It can give children a broader horizon, allowing each child to develop their own strengths and encourage each other. 10 Education is about having unbridled imagination and endless curiosity. Let the children be close to life and nature, and let them learn to play by themselves. What is more precious than money is knowledge, what is more precious than knowledge is endless curiosity, and what is more precious than curiosity is the starry sky above us and the land under our feet. 11You embrace the world and I protect you. If you go forward, I will be behind you. There is a sentence in \”Young You\”: \”After the college entrance examination, we become adults. But there has never been a lesson to teach us how to become adults.\” As a parent, don\’t blindly pursue excellent results. More importantly, It’s about caring about children’s mental health. Give them enough security and love instead of force and harshness. Whether you are being bullied or frustrated, please be sure to tell your children: You still have us. If you have any problems, we will be together.Be sure to tell your parents. Don\’t be afraid, I\’m always here, you speak slowly and I listen slowly. 12Every child is unique. A good educator should use 50 educational methods to educate one child, rather than using one educational method to educate 50 children. Never copy, let alone compare, respect individuality, listen to voices, encourage him to be himself, and let each child shine in his own way. 13 Education is not preparation for life, education is life itself. \”Forrest Gump\” said that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get. Whether it is an adult or a child, real education is to \”educate yourself.\” Heard about it and experienced it are two different things. Therefore, parents should give their children the opportunity to try, experience, be frustrated, and then get up. 14The child doesn\’t want to listen, but he likes to imitate. Psychologist Adler once said: It is not family ranking that determines a child\’s behavior, but the environment is the decisive factor. Whether you are the upright eldest child or the smart second child, whatever you do, your children will do the same. If you can\’t put down your mobile phone, your children will become addicted to it. If you rarely study at home, your children will also indulge. 15 A father who loves his mother is the best family education. Education alone does not constitute education. Education and cultivation, added together, are education. And education is rooted in love. Professor Li Meijin said: Before the child is 6 years old, the father must take care of the mother in front of the child and not focus all on the child. Family is a mutual relationship, not a centralized relationship. The best tutoring is when parents love each other. The best growth is to grow together. The famous educator Suhomlinsky said: \”At a certain moment, when you see your children, you also see yourself; when you educate your children, you educate yourself and test your own personality. We are right as parents, and our children Of course it\’s right.\” No outstanding child grows up in a state of neglect. An unhappy and insecure child will not suddenly become confident at the age of 16; a child who is addicted to mobile phones and does not like reading will not become a top student at the age of 18; a submissive child with low self-esteem will not Have excellent expressive skills at the age of 20; a child who is impulsive and violent and does not want the consequences will not become a responsible father at the age of 30. Children\’s personalities and talents are ultimately influenced by their families and parents. Ten years later, the best gift you can leave to your children is not a house or a deposit, but as Professor Li Meijin said: character determines destiny more than ability. The sunshine in my heart makes me happy with everyone. Having others in my heart is more important than anything else.