How to cultivate children’s happiness

Recently, a conversation between a netizen and an “AI mother” went viral. This mother will take the initiative to care about her mood, resolve her worries, and give her the warmest encouragement when she encounters setbacks. She likes this AI mother very much because – she is healing my inner child. She is the most perfect mother in the world. She cares about my emotions, expresses love, always praises me, always encourages me, no matter what decision I make, She will always support me, and any bad thing will always have a good side in her eyes. She won’t compare me with other people’s children, or say, if others can do it, why can’t you. Rather, you are already great, believe in yourself. She won\’t say, I\’m doing this for your own good. She will say, don\’t force yourself if you really don\’t like it. It is said that AI will become the executioner of mankind, but I have been cured over and over again by its company. Seeing this, many netizens sympathized. Who wouldn’t want to have such a caring and healing AI mother? How many children have never experienced the warmth of their parents and can only survive by themselves in the process of growing up and become their own \”harbor\”. This reminds me of a term that was particularly popular some time ago: emotional value. What is emotional value? We can understand it this way: providing emotional and emotional support to the other half of the relationship, helping the other party express and process emotions, so that the other party can be healed internally. In any relationship, emotional value is crucial, and the parent-child relationship is no exception. Parents without emotional value cannot raise happy children. 01 Emotional value is a scarce ability for many parents today. Remember how you responded when your children shared their worries and emotions with you? There is a fruit and vegetable shop at the entrance of the community, which is owned by a couple with a little girl in her teens. Once, I took my son shopping and just entered the house. The female shop owner started complaining to me: It’s easy to take care of a baby. Look at my daughter. She’s so angry. She doesn’t tell us anything, and now she’s making noises about dropping out of school! The little girl happened to hear it and ran over angrily: \”Didn\’t I tell you? I\’ve already said that you don\’t care!\” The little girl said that she cried to her parents about being isolated in school, but they always ignored her. She waved her hands and didn\’t want to hear it: \”Just take care of your studies. Don\’t always think about what you have and what you don\’t have.\” She said casually that she was a little tired from studying recently, and her mother directly interrupted her: \”What\’s so tiring about studying? Why aren\’t others tired?\” You\’re the only one who\’s tired.\” She complained that she had too many worries and couldn\’t sleep at night, but her mother always felt that she was lying: \”What can a child worry about? You just think too much!\” Every time she tried to seek affection from her parents. When I try to help, my parents will always push me back mercilessly. Slowly, she became sensitive and even feared going to school. I can’t help but think of a Weibo I saw some time ago: The blogger’s friend suffered from depression. After telling his parents, he got the following reply: (Swipe up and down to view the full text) Every word, there is no warm acceptance, but ruthless ridicule and Preaching. Netizens’ comments were also to the point: these replies were the reason for her depression. Children complain to their parents out of trust in their parents. What they want is emotional resonance., rather than casually preaching or accusing. If even the closest parents cannot provide emotional support and output emotional value, one can imagine the pain in the child\’s heart. Professor Effrey J. Bailey of the University of Idaho once pointed out: \”Emotional value not only determines a person\’s popularity, but even determines the success or failure of a relationship. Especially in a family, whether it has positive emotional value or not, to a large extent, Affects the future of this family.\” Emotional value can be said to be a key element in establishing a good attachment relationship between parents and children. But in reality, positive emotional value has become a scarce thing for many parents. 02 The emotional value of parents determines the level of happiness of their children. I saw this news: A girl who looked like a middle school student was sitting outside the eaves of a bridge by the river and wanted to commit suicide by jumping into the river. Fortunately, the firefighters acted quickly and successfully rescued the girl. Facing his daughter who had just escaped from danger, the first thing his father did was not to hug her, but to give her a hard slap in the face in public. The girl was stunned and collapsed on the ground. Her mother\’s voice of accusation could be heard in her ears: \”What on earth do you want? If you don\’t tell me clearly, I will stay here today!\” Under the double attack of her parents, the girl collapsed and cried. : \”Look, you force me like this every time…\” Facing their extremely emotionally unstable daughter, her parents not only didn\’t say a word of concern, but actually beat her and scolded her directly, which is really chilling. Children will always face many challenges in their lives, and strong emotional support and guidance are what children need most as they grow. Parents without emotional value will never raise happy children. There is a topic on the Internet, \”What is it like to have parents with high emotional value?\” Netizen @小布谷 put it this way: Probably, you don\’t have to worry about being criticized, you don\’t have to worry about whether you have done something wrong, and you don\’t have to worry about not being loved. You just have to listen to your heart and be yourself however you want. I remember when I was 12 years old, my family went on a trip, and my parents asked me to be in charge of the entire trip. Since I had no experience the first time, I found out that I had mistakenly entered the wrong terminal when I arrived at the airport the next day, so I had to change my ticket. I felt extremely guilty and couldn\’t help but blame myself. But my parents didn’t take this seriously at all, and even said with a smile: “It just so happens that we can have a meal first and then go visit the airport.” During the 5-hour wait, they didn’t mention it at all. Change of booking. During the journey, due to my negligence, I took many detours when heading to a destination. But my mother sighed: \”My dear, your route is so creative, it allows us to see so many beautiful scenery!\” Although this trip was full of conditions, our whole family was very happy. Nurtured by her parents\’ positive emotional values, she lived a particularly happy life throughout her childhood, and now she has grown into a sunny and confident person. There is a passage on the Internet that makes sense: \”In the growth of children, the more parents can bring comfort, joy and stable emotions to their children, the higher the emotional value of the parents. On the contrary, if parents always make their children sad , frustration and anger, the lower the emotional value of the parents.\” The emotional value of parents determinesThe height of children\’s happiness. Only when parents create a safe, stable, and harmonious environment so that children can express their emotions and needs freely can children grow up to be happy, joyful, and warm people. 03 Parents with higher emotional value are more likely to raise confident and outstanding children. I have met many parents over the years. I found that the best parents are not those who ensure that their children have enough food and clothing or take good care of their children, but those who can provide their children with high emotional value. There is an 8-year-old girl who loves Chinese very much, but she failed in her latest exam because she didn’t finish her Chinese essay, and she was feeling depressed. So her parents wrote a letter to her: You didn\’t do well in the Chinese test yesterday. Are you in a bad mood? Don\’t pay attention! I can’t blame you entirely for not finishing the essay, my mother and I are also responsible…Don’t be discouraged, my daughter…You must believe in yourself, in our hearts you are the best! Gentle and encouraging words, paired with a picture of the whole family liking it, couldn’t be more heartwarming. Sure enough, the girl finished reading the letter the next day, swept away the gloom, and went to school happily. This little girl is really lucky because she has a pair of parents with extremely high emotional value. They use gentle love and encouragement to inject strength into the children\’s hearts. I believe that no matter what setbacks this little girl encounters in the future, she will definitely overcome them with the support of her parents. Positive emotions are the key to a prosperous family. Parents with higher emotional values ​​are more likely to raise optimistic, confident, and outstanding children. Cartoon master Cai Zhizhong talked about his growth experience in an interview. He was very playful when he was a child and would not go home until he had enough fun. Other children were playing outside, and their parents would tell him to come home for dinner. If he came home a little late, he would be scolded, but he had never been scolded for coming home too late. In his second year of junior high school, Cai Zhizhong sent his work to a publishing house, and during the summer vacation he received a notice asking him to become a cartoonist. On the day he made the decision, he anxiously said to his father who was reading the newspaper: \”Dad, I am going to Taipei tomorrow to draw comics.\” His father did not get angry, but asked him seriously: \”Have you thought about it? You have thought about it. Just do it.” The latest and most complete [Kindergarten, Junior High School, and High School] premium VIP course catalog of all disciplines and famous teachers in 2023, click to view now! The road to professional comics is not easy. Every time he was frustrated, no matter how busy his mother was, she would put down what she was doing and listen patiently. It was precisely with the strong emotional support of his parents that he was able to show his talents at home and abroad and become a well-known cartoonist. He later won the Golden Horse Award for Best Cartoon. There is a saying that goes well, parents are not to be superior generals and arrange their troops in their own way, but to be a big container to accommodate all the confusion, pain, loneliness, and helplessness of their children. Give him a warm hug when he is lost; give him some comfort and encouragement when he fails; give him a sincere compliment when he makes progress; give him a constant companionship when he is wronged… Parents can only support themOnly by accepting the child\’s emotions and feelings can he gain love and security, and have the confidence and courage to move forward. ▽As parents, we always want the best for our children. In fact, being a pair of parents with high emotional value is the most precious gift you can give your children. Because it gives children the opportunity to understand the secrets of happiness and courage, which are the best things in the world. I hope every parent can take good care of their children\’s emotions and give them a childhood full of love, warmth and freedom, which will become a source of strength for their lives. Click to watch and encourage all parents.