How to cultivate children’s independent, strong and confident character

Every child will encounter stress. Some children collapse under pressure, while other children become more frustrated and courageous under pressure. What exactly causes this difference? What kind of children have stronger ability to withstand stress? ? The first type is children who have endured hardship. The weather-beaten grass that grows in the wild has stronger vitality and can withstand wind and rain better than the flowers in the greenhouse. Similarly, children who have experienced some difficulties and dealt with some setbacks and failures will have more strength to face stress than children who are always being cared for and overprotected. Children are not as fragile as we think. Children are born with the strength and ability to cope with adversity. Do you remember when they first learned to walk? They fell down many times and got up again and never gave up until they succeeded. As the saying goes, one learns from every experience. In the process of \”falling and getting up\”, everyone gradually becomes mature and eventually becomes a capable and responsible person. When you worry that your child can\’t adapt to the environment, help him keep out all dangers, and solve problems for him, you are also telling your child: You can\’t do it, you can\’t cope, and you don\’t have the ability to adapt. This not only hinders the development of children\’s abilities but also undermines their self-confidence. A complete collection of inspirational stories from Chinese and foreign celebrities who cultivated children to be diligent and strong PDF [color picture 29.7MB] And if we can give children some opportunities to make mistakes, for example, when practicing riding a bicycle, the child fell off and scraped his knee, we can take advantage of This opportunity teaches them how to ride steadily on uneven roads, and the children will also gain confidence. Of course, we don’t need to deliberately create any setbacks and pressures for our children, because children’s real lives are full of challenges. We just need to allow them to experience them naturally without deliberately avoiding them. For example, a child always makes mistakes when playing the piano. When faced with difficulties and setbacks, the child will feel sad. It is normal to have emotions. Accept their emotions, analyze the reasons for the mistakes, pat the dirt on your body and move on. Through continuous After practicing, I finally mastered that piece of music, and the child\’s anti-stress muscles and self-confidence slowly grew. The second type is a child who is loved unconditionally. When a child believes that no matter what he does, whether he succeeds or fails, there is someone behind him who loves, supports and accepts him, then the child will definitely try boldly and move forward courageously. And if a child is always afraid that he will not be recognized by others if he does not do well enough, and is worried that he will be criticized and punished if he makes a mistake or fails, then such a child will be very afraid of making mistakes and dare not try. It will be difficult for them to withstand pressure and will There is a lot of psychological internal friction, and I often push myself to the point of physical and mental exhaustion. The unconditional love of parents gives children a firm sense of security. This feeling allows children to adapt well to the new environment and firmly believe that everything will be fine when encountering difficulties. We want our children to feel that no matter whether their grades are good or not, or whether they have done something well or not, they are still good people. Parents should not focus all their attention on academic performance, but should see the beautiful qualities of their children. In particular, they should not let their children feel that if they do not study well, they will be useless. Such a belief can easily cause children to fail in their studies. backAnd give up on yourself. One of the best gifts a parent can give their children is to teach them to accept themselves. Accepting myself means that even though I cannot be the best, I am not bad; even if I am in a bad mood, I am still worthy of being loved; even if my grades are not good, I am still valuable; others perform well and attract attention, and I He has also been working hard. These beliefs will give children more strength to cope with stress and setbacks, and enable them to bounce back and achieve transcendence and counterattack. The third type is children whose parents can resist trouble. Children don\’t listen to what their parents say; they only listen to what their parents do. When encountering hardship in life, how parents face it and what kind of attitude they have will be seen in their children\’s eyes and remembered in their hearts. Some children from poor families are able to stand out without giving up their efforts, not because their parents are knowledgeable or well-educated, nor how good their parents are at preaching and reasoning, but because their parents personally work hard and provide for their lives. Children go to school and work hard. They will not complain about how hard, tiring or unfair life is. They will say to their children, study hard and your family will support you even if you try to make a fool of yourself. In this process, children also learn to be perseverant and not to give in to the difficulties of life. And if faced with pressure, parents are afraid first and are more anxious and worried than their children. Children not only have to face the pressure of learning, but also comfort their parents and take care of their parents\’ emotions, which invisibly adds another layer of stress to the children. Layers of pressure, how should that helpless child bear all this? Therefore, if we want our children to be able to withstand stress, we must first develop a strong heart and improve our ability to cope with stress. Then our children will also be subtly influenced by us and have optimistic and tenacious qualities. The fourth type is the born \”lucky person\”. Finally, there are some children who can be said to be born \”lucky\”. They are born with the trait of self-protection and have stronger resistance to stress. For example, in the movie \”The Road to Harvard\”, the Harvard girl who came out of a family whose parents were drug addicts; and in \”When I Fly to Your Mountain\”, the girl who escaped from her family of origin and eventually received a PhD in history from Cambridge University Tara Westover. Research on psychological resilience has found that about one-third of neglected and abused children can build better lives by the time they reach their teens. They are naturally very resilient to setbacks. Regardless of whether the child is such a lucky one, we must believe that every child is born with the ability to withstand stress and frustration, or psychological resilience. They already exist in the child. All we can do is not to hinder them. To see this powerful seed, let it germinate, grow, and develop the child\’s ability to independently cope with social challenges in the future.