How to cultivate children’s internal drive

In life, some children must have external supervision to complete whether they are studying or doing other things. Some children do not know how to arrange their study and life independently after being admitted to college, and become lazy or even \”lay flat\”. ”, these are all manifestations of a lack of inner self-driving force. The concept of \”self-drive\” was proposed by the famous psychologist Jung. It refers to a self-power with a driving effect that is spontaneously generated by an individual when interacting with the environment. It is an internal arousal state based on the needs of the organism. or a state of tension. Children who are self-motivated to learn tend to learn spontaneously and independently based on their interests, rather than learning under the external rewards or control of parents or teachers. This driving force will inspire children to continue to learn and explore independently, and Become a good quality that will benefit them throughout their lives as they grow up. How can we let children develop inner self-motivation? This has become an important concern for parents in family education. Parents\’ stable emotions provide their children with sufficient emotional energy. First of all, parents\’ own stable and good emotions are an important environmental basis for stimulating children\’s internal drive. Emotional security theory believes that parents\’ anxiety or depression can affect family relationships by affecting children\’s perceptions, thereby leading to the emergence of children\’s externalizing problems. For example, when parents encounter greater pressure at work and see their children procrastinating on their homework when they come home, they will easily reprimand the children inadvertently. After the children become anxious, they will be unable to complete their homework well, so there will be a conflict between the children and their parents. Anxiety emotions stimulate and transmit each other, forming a vicious circle. Therefore, parents should try to be as peaceful as possible in the process of raising their children. They should first learn to detect and adjust their own emotions, and maintain sufficient warmth and positive response to their children. As a parent, on the one hand, you should be aware of and manage the stress in your work or life, and learn to decompress yourself; on the other hand, try to be with people who are emotionally stable and have inner strength, and stay away from people who are prone to negative energy or group. Parents who have developed severe anxiety or even depression should seek professional help promptly. Secondly, it is important to provide children with a sense of security and emotional energy. People are born with internal drive and desire for knowledge and exploration. This need for self-realization is often based on a sense of security and satisfaction of emotional energy. Especially for children who are experiencing setbacks or stress, the family should be their safe haven and strong backing. If children can still deeply feel the love and acceptance of their parents when they are in trouble, their psychological resilience will be enhanced, their ability to resist setbacks and pressure will be improved accordingly, and their inner motivation for good will also be thus activated. Another important point is to learn to appreciate children, be able to see their progress and growth, and acknowledge them in a timely manner. This not only enhances the child\’s self-esteem and sense of achievement, but also helps the child\’s internal sense of autonomy to continue to develop. 5 treasure-level interesting documentaries are recommended to open up children’s horizons and improve internal drive. Become a consultative parent and give your children respect and trust. Controlling parents generally have a hard time raising children with self-reliance. Becoming a consultative parent can give your children respect and trust. Full choice and autonomy, is an important way to cultivate children\’s physical strength. You can imagine the responsibilities of a corporate consultant. On the basis of equal status and understanding of the situation, the consultant provides constructive suggestions for the company\’s development. The same is true for advisory parents. Their relationship with their children is based on equality and mutual respect. They give their children full trust and space, but at the same time they remain concerned about their children\’s development and will provide timely advice and help once their children need it. There are many children who have good grades in primary school, but why do they seem to lack stamina after middle school? In addition to the reason for learning talent, another very important reason is that these children\’s self-motivation for learning has not been developed. The academic performance in primary school is mostly achieved under the external supervision and pressure of parents and teachers. . Especially for primary school students, the formation of learning motivation is on the rise, and it is very necessary for parents to guide them to form an interest and habit of active learning. Parents need to have a longer-term perspective and not become controlling \”helicopter parents\” and not destroy their children\’s interest in learning and the formation of internal drive because of their eagerness for quick success. When a child encounters a problem, advisory parents tend to empathize with the child first, express understanding and acceptance to the child, and then learn more about the situation, analyze and discuss with the child, and guide the child to think for themselves and find the best solution. Even if rules are set, they must be discussed with the child. Only when the child participates in setting the rules will he be more willing to abide by them consciously. This is much more effective than parents making unilateral requests. By becoming a consultative parent and not interfering or controlling too much, children\’s self-discipline will naturally be established and they will have more internal motivation. Just because parents give their children respect and freedom does not mean they are completely letting things go. On the one hand, they should fully trust their children and set boundaries that make both parties feel comfortable. On the other hand, parents should also pay attention at all times and truly play the role of consultants, such as helping children search for information, providing resources or suggestions, etc. Don’t be overprotective and help your children find a sense of control. A sense of control has a powerful influence on the brain. The experience of controlling stressful situations can effectively enhance the functionality of the brain’s prefrontal cortex, while also reducing stress levels and being proactive to a certain extent. Shapes the brain and protects it from the negative effects of stress. The more opportunities a child has for autonomy, the stronger the internal motivation brought by the sense of autonomy in the brain, and the more successful experiences he has gained in adjusting his own pressure and overcoming challenges, and the easier it is for him to develop self-confidence, a sense of accomplishment, and a sense of control. First of all, parents should not be overprotective. They should give their children more opportunities to experience and solve problems on their own, and they should also allow their children some opportunities to make mistakes and trial and error. In life, some parents are afraid that their children will be hurt, and deprive their children of many opportunities to experience life and overcome difficulties. Such children often lack self-confidence and spirit of challenge when they grow up, dare not try anything, or shrink when they encounter difficulties. If adolescents do not gain experience by making decisions and overcoming difficulties on their own, they will have difficulty developing critical executive skills as well as the ability to solve problems and control impulses. Secondly, parents should let their children know how to take responsibility for themselves and think independently when encountering problems., the child\’s sense of control and self-drive can be slowly developed. Some parents always don’t believe that their children can make relatively wise decisions, but in fact, studies have long found that 9-year-old children are almost already capable decision-makers. The decision-making of 14-year-old children and 18- and 21-year-old children The abilities are almost identical. Therefore, parents can encourage their children: \”You are your own expert. No one knows yourself better than yourself. You are fully capable of taking responsibility for your own decisions.\” In the new era, there is an increasing need to be creative and independent. Thinking and judgment, as well as the ability to ask questions and solve problems, and the cultivation of these qualities is inseparable from the core part, that is, the development of self-driving force. Children will one day leave the protection of their parents\’ wings and face the world alone. Parents should cultivate their children\’s self-motivation sooner and let them learn to be responsible for themselves. In fact, this is the best protection and blessing for their children.