How to cultivate children\’s self-confidence?

Once when I was shopping, I saw a scene that was particularly touching. I went to a shopping mall and saw a pretty good clothing store, so I went in and picked out a piece of clothing to try on. The salesperson said to me: \”There is a lady inside trying on clothes, please wait a moment.\” There was a teenage girl next to her. After the lady inside came out, the girl immediately stepped forward and helped her mother adjust the collar and smooth the skirt. The mother acted like a child throughout the whole process, letting her daughter play with her. Finally, the girl pulled her mother to the mirror and said, \”Look, gray complements your temperament.\” The mother looked doubtfully from left to right, and the daughter said, \”Look. Look at the design of the cuffs and neckline, and the hem of the skirt will also drape, making your neck look longer and your figure more straight…\” After hearing this, I couldn\’t help but stepped forward to inquire: \”Little girl, you look only fourteen or fifteen years old. Ah, how do you know how to match clothes so well!\” The girl\’s mother said: \”My daughter is my consultant. She has liked to study clothes since she was a child. She often wore my clothes and high heels to show off when she was a child. When she grows up, she will be picky about my taste. You have to help me create a new image…\” The daughter standing aside interjected: Just tell me what you think of me? Puzzle cartoon Happy Baby: Fantasy Journey cartoon full set download Mom immediately looked like a primary school student: \”Indeed. After your guidance, my colleagues said that I am getting younger and more temperamental.\” Suddenly, the mother and daughter evoked my interest. I asked the girl: \”You are so dedicated to helping your mother create an image, so what does your mother do for you?\” She and her mother looked at each other and smiled, and said: \”She helps me cook and buys milk tea for me to drink.\” Mom. Seeing that I was full of curiosity, I added: \”I\’m stupid. I can\’t help her with her studies. I can only cook her some delicious food. Fortunately, she strives for herself and does a good job.\” After that, They paid the money and left, leaving me there to reflect on it for a long time. A teenage girl can hold hands and go shopping with her mother, laughing and understanding each other the whole time. What is the reason for this? I suddenly extracted the key words from my mother\’s mouth: I am stupid. I have seen too many parents who are the opposite. They are business executives, people in the education system, lawyers, etc. In terms of professional attributes, they really belong to the group of people with relatively high IQs. And precisely because they are fully confident in their own knowledge and social experience, they are eager to set an example for their children and make choices for their children. The starting point is good, but if you identify yourself too much as the only correct and capable person, it will cause a conflict: your child is wrong and cannot do it. One of my visitors said that he graduated from a prestigious school but had very low self-esteem. As long as he was in an environment with more than 5 people, he did not dare to speak. The reason is that he has a very capable father. When he was a child, as long as he expressed any opinions or even relayed a piece of news, his father would correct him: \”You are wrong to say this, it should be like that. There is a discrepancy in your news. Let\’s do it next time.\” Remember to say it word for word, otherwise it will easily mislead others.\” The father insisted that if he did not correct his son, his son would not be able to excel and his development would be limited. What he didn\’t consider was that his child had not yet left society.It has been restricted by him. So let’s take a look, what will happen if there are smart parents in the family? 1. Being defeated by parents at home. For example, if a child’s grades are average and he finally scores 90% on the exam, he hopes to be praised. As a result, the smart mother immediately said: \”90 points is nothing special. Your mother and I got perfect marks when I was a child.\” The child immediately felt like an eggplant beaten by frost, doubting himself and his life. 2. Losing the opportunity for trial and error and exploration. For example, when a child puts on clothes for the first time or does handicrafts for the first time, he is slow, confused, messes up things, and makes the table dirty. The smart mother became impatient: \”How old are you? You can\’t even do this well.\” The implication is that I am better than you and I am better than you. Then the next time the child tries something new, he will lack courage and motivation because the negative comments from his mother in the past are still fresh in his mind. 3. Giving up on oneself and not daring to ask for help. When children encounter difficulties and are frustrated, they come back to their parents to talk to them. As a result, smart parents will show off their talents and tell their children that you should do this and that, hoping that through their own teachings, their children will achieve immediate results and become child prodigies. But she can\’t eat hot tofu in a hurry. The more eager the mother is to win, the more guilty and anxious the child will be. Therefore, the result is often that the child does not understand, but instead suffers a second blow: \”I have taught you this, and you still don\’t know it, then I have nothing to say.\” In order to clarify their own responsibilities, smart parents will hint Child: I am very smart, and my teaching methods are also very good, but you are too weak to learn, so you cannot learn. If the child is more sensitive, he will directly understand: I am the stupidest person in the world, I am not as good as my parents by a hair, I am finished. As a result, children will give up on themselves and will no longer seek help from their parents in the future because they are afraid of being humiliated. A friend said that she has struggled to survive under the chin of her smart parents since she was a child. The second-grade teacher asked her to recite five ancient poems in a row. She was the fastest in the class and ran back to announce the good news. As a result, her mother asked: \”Recite one for me.\” She did as she was told, but halfway through reciting, her mother interrupted: \”What\’s the use of your expressionless reciting? I\’ve seen those children who recited poems on TV. Their voices were full of emotion and their eyes were burning. . You can\’t do this, you have to carry deep emotions…\” Then she cried, and she no longer liked reciting ancient poems. I\’ve made this mistake too. I have no say in tutoring my children\’s homework. I always think I have the right to guide them in writing. As a result, I was very \”smart\” to read my son\’s composition, and then shamelessly told him that your beginning was not beautiful, the middle was too emotional, and the ending was not powerful enough… Then my son said angrily: \”You just said that mine is not good at all. Bah! Then he got angry and said he would never let me read it again.\” I still refused to repent, so I intervened again and created a sample essay for him. Later, I completely lost the power to guide his composition. Because he said, \”If you rely entirely on your mother to write essays, even if you are praised by the teacher, it will not be a glorious thing.\” I woke up from a dream and suddenly felt that my IQ was zero. From then on, I became a stupid mother who only knew how to cook and wash clothes.Damn it. Although my son did not create any masterpieces, his attitude toward me became better and he became more conscious about his studies. I read an interview with a business celebrity. The reporter asked him: \”I heard that three generations of your family have been farmers. How do you think they influenced you to develop such an excellent career?\” The celebrity replied humorously: \”Dad doesn\’t care about other people\’s business.\” , my mother cooks delicious food. Basically, I have decided by myself what I want to do and what not to do since I was a child. Unless I want to ask them for money, my father, who has never even been to the provincial capital, asked: \”What fashionable thing are you going to do?\” It’s something.’ When my mother saw that the money was not much, she said to me: ‘My child won’t do bad things anyway, so just take it without any worries.’” Don’t pry or doubt. Later, he was admitted to a key university, and his father\’s wish was: Bring me a photo to see your school. The mother was a little reluctant to leave her son: How can you eat the stew made by your mother when you are so far away? There is no excessive publicity or excitement, but there is silent joy and blessing. These parents are deeply aware of their own limitations, so they always keep the door open at home so that their children can go out freely, dream, and even make dreams. They don\’t seem smart, but what a wisdom. Therefore, we parents can be smarter and more comprehensive in our careers. But when you get home, it’s best to put away your identity as a “veteran”, let alone act like an expert. Children\’s self-confidence is the basis for growth and success. If children find that they cannot surpass their parents no matter how hard they try, they will despair and give up their efforts. If parents are less capable, less perfect, and less convinced that they are the only one right, then the child will have the opportunity to trial and error and make progress. They don’t have to worry about being lectured or ridiculed when they go home, so they will have more courage to go out and chase. The so-called success is something that is broken out, not taught by parents. Popular science knowledge How To Grow A Planet BBC Plant Song documentary full 3 episodes 1080P ultra-clear 18.6G Therefore, it is really good for parents to be less smart and more \”silly\”.