How to cultivate children’s self-discipline and consciousness

Provide reasonable support based on children\’s needs. Children are about to take final exams and need to review their homework at home. In the past, my wife would help make plans and push them to completion. But that time, my wife felt that they were conscious enough about their studies and could arrange some things by themselves, so she announced that the two children would prepare and complete the final exam independently. After hearing these words, her daughter Qianqian was very calm and said with a smile: \”Okay!\” But her son Chuanchuan was very excited: \”Don\’t ignore me! Please take care of me!\” The whole scene was very funny. When asked why, Chuanchuan He said, \”If mom doesn\’t take care of me, I will do poorly in the exam!\” I originally thought about why he was so unsure and asked us to take care of him. I almost started preaching: \”Son, you have to cultivate self-control by yourself. Don\’t You belittle yourself, we can\’t control you for the rest of your life…\” After hearing what Chuanchuan said, I chose to keep my mouth shut and wait to see what would happen. As a result, the next day he wandered around the living room looking careless. He probably didn’t show off on purpose. It was probably because he was anxious about taking the exam. The child really needed help at this time, so my wife and I decided to keep a close eye on him, work out a review plan with him, and urge him to proceed as planned. . In the past study and life, the daughter was the one who was more controlled, while the son had more room for autonomy. But this time it reflects different needs and self-care abilities, and requires us to treat it more carefully. In any case, I still encourage my son: \”Although you still need supervision, I think one thing you have done well is that you realized that you may lack this ability and took the initiative to express your need for help. It is really good!\” Before! At the Harvard Graduate School of Education, the word I hear most often is scaffolding. When building a house, first put up the frames outside; after the house is built, gradually dismantle the frames. The shelf here is \”scaffold\”, which is also English scaffold. In education, scaffolding represents a staged, structured support. Teachers or parents can provide different levels of support based on children\’s abilities and needs to help them gradually master new knowledge and skills. For example, in a Chinese class, teachers may provide support by teaching students how to read an article, how to extract key information, and how to express it in their own words; they may also provide tips and feedback to help students better understand and apply new knowledge and skills. As students\’ learning abilities continue to improve, teachers will gradually reduce support and encourage students to explore and learn more independently. How to help children develop self-discipline – self-driven growth – free reading mobi+epub+azw3 Just like building a house, the ultimate concept of scaffolding is \”the scaffolding must be dismantled\”. The focus is on gradually helping the child achieve autonomy, rather than always putting up a front for him. Therefore, knowing when to put up a shelf and when to take it down is a dynamic process that must be adjusted through observation and experience. The growth of children and the parenting of parents is a dynamic process of constant adjustment. Guide children to learn and take responsibility for themselvesOf course, in the learning process, children also need to be responsible for themselves. Some children can quickly grasp concepts and start to learn on their own; some children need a more patient \”run-up\” to take off; and some children will confidently say \”I don\’t need your help!\” at first, but they don\’t! Be prepared for anything to happen. At this time, he was willing to admit that he didn\’t know how to do it yet, especially in front of his brothers, sisters or classmates, which really took a lot of courage. When encountering this situation, teachers and parents should avoid saying: \”Look, I told you a long time ago that you don\’t know how! You have to do it yourself, now learn to behave!\” Such words will damage the child\’s self-confidence. When children are willing to admit that they need help, parents should respond positively and positively as soon as possible. I will choose to praise the child\’s self-awareness and his honest attitude towards learning. If he first asks his parents or teachers for help with everything at the beginning, forming an inertial learning pattern of letting others do everything first, I might say to him: \”I think your ability is enough, and I won\’t help you this time.\” Come on, do it yourself first!\” No one is born with self-management, and no one is born with a complete unwillingness to self-manage. Self-control is a basic need of human nature, especially in adolescence, this desire will be particularly obvious. So the knowledge lies in how to train children to have this ability before they start to assert their own autonomy, and this requires planning and efforts from both parents and children. When Qianqian and Chuanchuan were still illiterate, my wife and I drew a large table on the whiteboard at home, using cartoon stickers that the children liked to remind them what time they had to do every day. Later, when they became literate, the stickers were replaced with words, and later they became Chinese and English. The items in the form were written by us at first, then we discussed it with them, and finally they wrote it themselves. It sounds like we just made a schedule for the children to follow, but it took four or five years and we tried various methods. For example, change to a different version every once in a while, because if it stays the same, the child will lose the freshness and turn a blind eye; for a period of time, a points system is adopted, and the children can get points if they achieve it, and when the points reach a certain level, they can exchange them for gifts; of course, more Sometimes, we need to take our children to implement the plan, otherwise the children will give up soon. This form was not removed from the whiteboard until the children were in fifth grade, because they had almost formed a habit and knew what to do at what time. Have you ever been lazy? certainly! Are there times when you are half-hearted? certainly! We adults also have bad moments, but children are human beings too! Sometimes, I am also very upset. As an educator, I draw up a beautiful plan based on theory, but the execution effect is not at all as expected. Whenever this happens, I shake my head and ask myself with a smile: \”Isn\’t this an opportunity to learn?\” In the first place, running a family should have a little experimental spirit, be flexible and keep pace with the times, right? One day children will make their own decisions. We all know how much self-discipline can help children’s lives, but helping children develop self-discipline habits is definitely a protracted battle. We must fight against children’s laziness., but also challenge your patience and resilience. Once children can manage their own time, parents will feel much more relaxed. Especially in the senior grades, when academic work begins to be arduous and children reach adolescence, it can really save parents a lot of words and avoid a lot of unnecessary parent-child conflicts… Children should develop good health care habits, study habits and emotional processing from an early age. Habit. You can set up the airs early to help your children develop, or you can gradually remove the airs and let them exercise on their own. For example, after arranging the child\’s daily life and study matters, leave a fixed time, such as half an hour, for the child to decide what to do. Parents can give suggestions but do not interfere with their children\’s arrangements at this time. Doing so will, on the one hand, help cultivate the child\’s sense of control over time; on the other hand, the child will be respected and able to make decisions independently, and it will also be easier to cultivate his self-esteem and self-respect. We often use weekends and holidays to practice many of our children\’s habits. When you have a relatively large amount of time available, plan with your children what to spend each time on. There will be children\’s study time in it, and it will also make children think about how to arrange other times reasonably, such as whether to exercise for ten minutes after studying for an hour. If you go out, let your children help plan the route. Another technique is to ask the child to estimate the time it will take to do each thing, and then compare the time it actually takes to do it. This will give the child an intuitive feel for the consumption of time and the arrangement of matters, and help him arrange matters by himself. , it is more reasonable to make plans and easier to complete. When children can arrange their own free time without parental supervision and have an internal habit of self-discipline, parents can really feel at ease and worry-free. Parents often hope that their children will always stay at the most considerate and obedient age, but they complain that their children make them unable to let go. The entanglement here is the ebb and flow of the two forces of child growth and parental discipline. Sometimes the children are really not ready, and sometimes the parents are reluctant to let go, but one day the children have to make their own decisions and bear the consequences of their choices. A German mother’s experience in teaching integrity and self-discipline: Teach good children who are strong + independent + tolerant + thrifty. So, while the cost of trial and error is still very low, be more observant and attentive, help him make some decisions, and give him Provide some independent space and inspire him to think about solving problems, which will make the child\’s growth more solid. Over time, it will also cultivate the child\’s ability to be independent and self-disciplined. This is the growth of children and the growth of parents.