How to deal with children being bullied at school

A few days ago, a mother complained about herself on the Internet. She said: \”My child was bullied at school. I asked her to find the reason within herself and not to always shift the responsibility to others. Is that wrong?\” Family Education Essentials: How to Encourage Children\’s Progress and Self-Confidence – All 70 episodes told by my daughter My mother said that she was isolated by her roommates at school, and that her roommates also made trouble for her. But the mother felt that her daughter was thinking too much and didn\’t take it to heart at all. Her daughter was diagnosed with depression because of bullying, but her mother said, \”I don\’t really believe it.\” She thought this was just her daughter\’s unfounded moaning. And she often warns her daughter: \”Don\’t always think that others are wrong when you encounter things. Many times it is your own problem.\” Because of this incident, her daughter often quarreled with her. The child already feels that communicating with her parents is a secondary injury to her, and when this matter is mentioned, the whole person collapses. Some netizens said: \”If I had a mother like this, I would be depressed too.\” A child, if even her own mother cannot support her and protect her unconditionally. Who else in this world is worthy of her reliance? Some people say that the most vicious thing parents have said to their children is: \”If a fly doesn\’t bite a seamless egg, a slap can\’t make a sound.\” Xiao Ai, a classmate, suffered deeply from this. When he was in the sixth grade of elementary school, Xiao Ai was brought from the countryside to the city by his parents and transferred to our class. At that time, Xiao Ai was dark-skinned, thin, and silent. Xiao Xiantou, who often causes trouble in the class, looks at Xiao Ai as if he has found prey. He teases and bullies her every now and then. Once, the school mobilized teachers and students for a general cleaning. When the teacher was not paying attention, several students grabbed Xiao Ai who was working hard and asked her to wash the rag. Xiao Ai lowered his head and squatted silently by the bucket to rub the dirty rag. As a result, those people suddenly pushed Xiao Ai\’s head into the water, and Xiao Ai choked several times in panic. Some students couldn\’t stand it and told the teacher, who notified their parents. She originally thought that Xiao Ai\’s mother would stand up for her, but she didn\’t expect that her mother\’s first words were to question Xiao Ai: \”Did you cause trouble at school?\” Xiao Ai said timidly: \”I didn\’t.\” Her mother didn\’t believe it at all. He also glared at Xiao Ai and said: \”One slap can\’t make a difference! Otherwise, why would they bully you instead of bullying others?\” Xiao Ai, whose hair was still wet and sticking to her cheeks, blushed when she heard this sentence. He suddenly turned pale, and tears burst out of his red eyes. After that day, Xiao Ai became even more silent. Later, when she entered junior high school, she was still the target of bullying. The mother may not know that her airy words \”One slap won\’t make a difference\” were a stab in the child\’s heart. There is a scene in the TV series \”Little Shede\” where Huanhuan joins forces with his classmates to exclude the isolated and outstanding student Mi Tao. Mi Tao felt aggrieved. She was very helpless and could only ask her parents for help: \”Huanhuan bullied me at school.\” After her mother heard this, her first reaction was to ask her child: \”Isn\’t Huanhuan your good friend? How could you bully me?\” What about you?\” She told her mother seriously: \”She didn\’t pick up the homework when I handed it out, and she deliberately made trouble when I was in charge of discipline. If she continues like this, other students will definitely be affected by her, and they all feel thatI\’m easy to bully, what should I do if everyone comes to bully me? But her mother felt that Mitao was ignorant, and even her father asked Mitao: \”Why doesn\’t she bully others?\” \”The parents speak plausibly and conclusively, but the child is full of grievances and has nowhere to express his grievances. A child who originally needed the protection of his parents was pushed into the abyss by his parents\’ hands. A psychiatrist summed up this phenomenon from his case: Most of those who were bullied until they were covered with bruises and then frantically self-reflected were caused by their parents’ wrong treatment in childhood. Netizen Xiao Nie is now a college student. She is obviously an age full of vitality and hope, but she said that her life is full of inferiority and insecurity . Because growing up, no matter what she complained to her mother, her mother would only give her: \”Why do you always blame others? Why don\’t you blame yourself?\” \”When I was in junior high school, a classmate accidentally knocked her water glass to the ground. The beloved cup she had saved up for a long time to buy fell into pieces. The classmate said a little embarrassed: \”I\’m sorry, I didn\’t mean it. of. But you can’t blame me. Who told you to put it on the table casually? \”If the cup is not on the table, why should it be on the floor? However, as a victim, while feeling aggrieved, she can\’t help but find fault with herself. \”It\’s obviously not my fault, but I\’m still thinking about what I am doing. What went wrong. \”Gradually, she became a polite, sensible, and very humble child. When she encountered something she liked or a good opportunity, she did not dare to fight for it. Because she was afraid that if she fought for it, others would dislike her. But she She has always been unhappy. Every time, she has accommodated others, and no one has accommodated her. This feeling lingers in her heart every moment, blocking her ability to perceive happiness like a curse. \”Why don\’t you want to think about it?\” \”Is it your own problem?\” can make children begin to doubt their own understanding of themselves. \”One slap can\’t make a difference\” can scatter the children\’s infinite imagination of the world. When I was studying in the past, I also encountered campus bullying inexplicably once. Since then, I have always felt unspeakable panic and fear in my heart. Later, I couldn\’t bear such chaos in my heart, so I told my parents about it. At that time, my father He said casually: \”Could it be that you have offended someone else? \”Just this sentence instantly blocked my heart. For a long time afterwards, I really felt that I had done something wrong, so I was bullied. The \”slap\” theory, no It will teach children better, but it will only knock out the child\’s vitality. It will swallow up the child\’s sense of security, making them gradually become over-sensitive and lack self-confidence. If the child is bullied, it will only knock out teeth and blood. Swallow. Let children not dare to fight for their own interests, always have self-doubt, and always be bound by self-blame. Let them be cautious in everything they do. Living in introspection and self-blame will make it difficult to be happy, and they will be farther and farther away from happiness. Just imagine Suddenly, when you were at work, you tried your best to change the same document countless times as required, but it was finally returned. After work, you told your friend that your boss was targeting you and causing trouble for you. As a result, your friend said: \”Yes. Didn’t you offend someone? Otherwise, why would it only target you and not others?\”On the way home, someone bumped into you, and then you found that your wallet was lost, and the person who bumped into you had run away without a trace. You called your husband to tell him, trying to seek some comfort. As a result, your husband said: \”Why was your wallet stolen? It must be because you didn\’t put it away properly! \”Don\’t you feel angry and aggrieved? At that time, what you want most is someone who can give you a gentle response and stand firmly by your side. Similarly, when a child is bullied, what he needs most is his parents. Stand firmly behind him. We cannot let our children fight alone, because we and our children are comrades by blood. I remember a reader once left a message in the background: \”My mother has been since I was a child. No matter what I say, she will definitely stand first.\” Think about it from my perspective. As a result, until now, I have never had an inferiority complex. Because I know that no matter what happens to me, my parents will support me behind me. \”This feeling is really important for children. Just like a story told by Zheng Yuanjie: a girl was framed by her classmates, who accused her of stealing her wallet. She couldn\’t explain herself, and was later called out by the teacher When they arrived at the office, anyone else would have panicked because they were afraid that the teacher would call their parents to complain, but this girl said very calmly: \”I want to call my parents. \”Because her parents would not question her as soon as she came up, let alone put the blame on her indiscriminately. It was her parents who gave her the confidence. Recommended parenting books for parents: Jin Yunrong Love on the Left and Discipline on the Right pdf download Gao Qiuzi, a guest on \”Qi Pa Shuo\” once said: \”Whether I am happy or not, I will tell my parents, because no matter what happens, they will catch me. \”Parents are guardian angels for their children, and they are their safe haven when they encounter violent storms outside. Even if a parent just stands behind their child gently, it can give him a steady stream of confidence. If your child is being bullied When the time comes, be able to fight back bravely and tell the other party with confidence: \”I was right, you were the one who was wrong! \”If your child can openly fight for his legitimate interests when he grows up, then you have to thank yourself many years ago. Thank you for your courage on the day when your child ran home from school crying and asked you for help. Ignore him. Thank you for not letting him reflect on \”Why do others only bully you but not others?\” \”Don\’t just blame others, think more about what\’s wrong with you\”. Because when you Opening her arms, she hugged him and said, \”It\’s okay, kid, it\’s not your fault. \”At that time, what you caught was not a trivial matter, but the child\’s whole life, and the child\’s bright and sunny future.