How to develop children’s self-motivation ability

Let me tell you the story of another child first. Qian Xiaoneng has a junior high school classmate who is a boy. He was addicted to games for a long time in junior high school. After several months of self-change and hard work by the parents, the child woke up before the high school entrance examination. It was like the drive to study suddenly possessed him, and he studied hard for two or three months. Maybe it was because of too many basic flaws that I failed to get into high school. The child was very shocked. He thought he could achieve ideal results if he worked hard, but he didn\’t expect this result. Unwilling to give in, he asked for a repeat reading. During the year when I was studying in an institution, my child\’s father contacted me many times and said that my child worked hard most of the time and was very motivated. My parents also changed many of their original education methods and devoted themselves to helping my child prepare for the high school entrance examination. Unexpectedly, this year, the child still did not reach the score line of a public high school. You can imagine the frustration and despair of an adolescent boy. Throughout the summer vacation, the child barely studied and thought that he had no hope in this life. Why was it that after working so hard for a year, it still had no effect? ​​He seemed to have returned to his original state, spending all his time in distress, online and confusion. Of course, parents are extremely anxious and suffering. They don’t know how to talk to their children. They are afraid that if they say something wrong, their children will feel even more uncomfortable, and they will lose hope and motivation. Later, my father found a private art high school for his son. Although the tuition was not low, his son finally had a high school to attend. When school started in September, my father told me that he was still nervous about sending his children to school, fearing that they would never recover. When he left school, the child said: Don\’t worry, Dad, I will study hard. Dad suddenly felt that his heart, which had been gloomy for many days, suddenly brightened. How to help children develop self-discipline – self-driven growth – free reading mobi+epub+azw3 A few days ago, he told me, Teacher Mei, the child is very motivated to study now. The child got the first test in the school\’s cultural class. Ranked first in the class, I am very happy and feel that my self-confidence has returned to me. I am also sincerely happy for the father and son to be shared this good thing. After a period of solid efforts by the children and the changes of the parents for more than a year, the children\’s learning drive has been awakened again, and new hope has returned. When it comes to this family, there is simply nothing more congratulatory than this! 2 Last weekend, Qian Xiaoneng finished his monthly exam. I was cooking in the kitchen at about 5 o\’clock in the evening, and suddenly I saw a few lines of short messages pop up on WeChat: -Mom, I got fifth in the class in the math test – haha ​​- do you think I\’m awesome? The kid\’s joy could literally spill over the phone. I quickly said it was really, really awesome! Mom is so happy. I am indeed happy for Qian Xiaoneng\’s progress, because he did very poorly on the math test at the end of last semester. This time he did not fall behind, and he caught up with his solid efforts in the past month (intermittent psychotic efforts) ). During the meal, Qian\’s father hadn\’t come back from work yet. Qian Xiaoneng continued to tell me, \”Mom, you don\’t know. When you went back to your hometown to attend your cousin\’s wedding, I had tonsillitis and a sore throat. Even so, I didn\’t stop studying. Is it okay?\” I asked our teacher Gao on WeChat, and our teacher Gao immediately answered it for me, andThe answer was very clear and detailed, I understood everything. Before the exam, I had a good idea of ​​the solid geometry during this period. After dinner, he stood at the door of the kitchen and told me, \”Mom, I have to make a plan. I can\’t do all the subjects at the same time. I have to do it one by one. Next, I will first make sure not to fall behind in math and concentrate on English.\” I have thought about how to break through vocabulary and how to arrange time for reading. I have to finish these two subjects first, and do my homework while studying other minor subjects… I stared at him and listened to him talking about his study plan, insisting Holding back the excitement in my heart, I nodded like a mother of a prodigal son, not knowing how to express my secret joy. The next day I contacted my English teacher and told him that Mr. Lu Qian Xiaoneng said that he wanted to learn English well. Lazy ordinary kids like him usually only have three minutes of heat. Please ask the teacher to remind him when he relaxes. As a result, the teacher said that Qian Xiaoneng had come to see her yesterday afternoon and would never give up on children who have the ability to learn and want to learn well. 3. At this point, I need to remind everyone that you must not be as excited as me, thinking that Qian Xiaoneng must have exploded with unprecedented internal drive this time, his attitude towards learning is extremely correct, and his academic performance will improve dramatically. Over the years, as he went from elementary school, to junior high school, and then to high school, his learning motivation always fluctuated, especially like intermittent mental illness. The good time was always less than the bad time, and the time for hard work was always less than the time for fun. One of his most classic quotes in the past two years is: Mom, life can’t just be about studying, it also needs something else! What is a little different this time is that he has told us more about his future and what he will do in the future, and his sense of goal is stronger, as if he is trying to clear away the layers of clouds above his head. Bit by bit he is getting closer to his own inherent goal. As a mother who has been observing her children for a long time, what may be the best for him, what he likes and inspires, what may be his lifelong love and ideals gradually become clear, and he is moving in the direction that belongs to him, but this The direction is definitely not what his father and I had imagined. That thing does belong to him. He is now slightly aware that knowledge-based learning is a shortcut to his goal, but sometimes he still can\’t restrain his entertainment mentality. How difficult is it for a very ordinary and ordinary child to develop long-lasting and full internal drive? The book \”Awakening Children\’s Drive\”, when I think about it now, is really superficial. It awakens the drive of an ordinary child. The path of education is like thousands of streams flowing out of the rugged mountains, and the convergence of countless hardships. When entering the river, we restrained our actions and words, paid attention to the effect of every word, and channeled the emotions that were gushing out. The final result was that Qian Xiaoneng and I had no education, or it seemed that we had no education, because it came from our All behaviors became passive, restrained, and became Qian Xiaoneng\’s own behavior. Laziness and muddling through the five knowledge learning are typical manifestations of every ordinary child. As parents, we usually try our best to motivate him, tell him various inspirational stories to wake him up, and tell him all kinds of exciting stories.They alluded to him with worrying examples, and worked tirelessly to urge him, help him, and support him. However, the strange thing about family education is that some children do not accept this method, and even seem to be indifferent! After going through many twists and turns, you finally discovered that the most suitable way for him is the passivity of his parents, with him advancing and you retreating. He just hopes that his parents will be spiritual consultants. He is more and more eager to go his own way day by day, parallel to you, and even has to go in front of you. You are just an invisible material and spiritual support, or even the soil for a tree to grow. Until one day, when he no longer needs your support, and when he faces the vast world and the vast sky as an independent person and an independent tree, his self-awareness and long-lasting and full inner drive can be together. Bloom and become a calm, true and stable self. 6. When it comes to self-motivated children, they need big and small victories. Let’s see, even if we observe a three-year-old child, they all want to look good among their peers, with a little difference and small achievements. , a small victory. The achievements I am talking about are not necessarily academic achievements, such as sports, singing, handicrafts, etc., which need to be recognized, applauded, cheered, and liked by friends. A breakthrough in a child\’s academic performance may not be the main subject of Chinese, Mathematics, and English, but may be a minor subject. The child cannot be made to feel hopeless in any subject, and the doors and windows in any direction are tightly sealed against him. As time goes by, he will A child has not yet learned to think about his future from a long-term and overall perspective, so we have to help, give the child full love, and continue to nourish his self-awareness. One day, he will burst out with vigorous vitality to realize himself. Turn the self-confidence from the outside world into the self-confidence in the bones, and the child will not be far away from being self-motivated! Some readers of Qizong said that Teacher Mei has been emphasizing that Qian Xiaoneng is a very ordinary child. yes! This is the result of my years of observation and judgment, and I am not deliberately being modest. The biggest difference between ordinary children and gifted and intelligent children is that the healthy and full self-awareness and internal drive of ordinary children require their parents to protect, nourish and respond to them with great pains. The self-awareness of the latter is quite saturated in their genes and cannot be ignored. Deliberately destroy it and it will grow strongly. As we said in today\’s title, every self-driven child needs a real victory. A very small number of gifted and intelligent children are born with the spiritual genes of precocity, self-discipline, and studiousness. They can always show admirable victory and glory in their studies and in the fields of interest, and nothing can stop them; In the life of an ordinary child, instinct always prevails. The indolent, muddled ego can always defeat the self-disciplined and motivated superego. It requires continuous nourishment and care from parents, but cannot invade his personal territory too much. They need one big or small victory after another to affirm themselves and develop deep-rooted self-confidence. Therefore, it is by no means that a child suddenly has strong and full internal drive. An ordinary child must constantly resolve internal conflicts, and must constantly return to reality from his delusions in the midst of countless conflicts and collisions between his heart and reality, and in repeated mania and restlessness. This is a process of many tempers! themOnly with your self-awareness and personality development will you become solid and strong, and your whole person will be powerful and resilient!