How to develop self-control in young children

In life, we often see scenes where children are \”willful\”: they have clearly agreed to only play with the iPad for 20 minutes, but after two 20 minutes, the children still refuse to let go; they never take the initiative to do homework unless they are forced, and they either do it casually or just do it casually. I didn’t even start writing; what I wanted must be satisfied, otherwise I would fall to the ground and cry and make a fuss; adults are very worried, what should I do if my child lacks self-control? People are greedy for pleasure. There is an angel and a devil living in everyone\’s heart. Every choice we make is actually the result of the game between angels and devils, and the decisive factor is our self-control. Research shows that what really determines whether a child will be successful in the future is not IQ, but self-control. Performance of high emotional intelligence: Training methods to improve emotional intelligence, Preschool Psychology Book Box Children with high self-control can study when they should study and play when they should play; in life, they can plan themselves early work and rest, choose healthy eating habits; at work, be able to complete what needs to be done on time and not be affected by negative emotions. Excluding academic and career achievements and looking only at the small things in life, it is easy to find that people who lack self-control are often stuck in the quagmire of obesity, chanting slogans about losing weight while gnawing on cream cakes; Spend a boring night, and then go to work exhausted the next day… Self-control is related to all aspects of life and can affect our lives. Like other education, the best method must be to teach by words and deeds. For those of us who don’t have strong self-control, we can also learn some “tricks” to help our children counterattack. But in fact, the process of parenting itself is also a good way to exercise our own self-control. 5 ways to improve self-control! Parents keep their promises, and the formation of children\’s ability to delay gratification needs to be based on \”full satisfaction\” and \”timely gratification.\” Children will internalize these satisfied experiences as spiritual resources, and are sure that their wishes will come true. The ability to delay gratification is better. To put it bluntly, only when countless past experiences prove to children that their parents are trustworthy will children be willing to endure and wait. When children are in an environment where they can always keep their promises, no matter how small it is, if they promise to do it, then the child will be more willing to control themselves; and if they are in an environment where they \”go back on their word and even coax and lie\” , then the child will understand that \”what is in the stomach now is the safest thing\”, and naturally will not have self-control. To improve children\’s self-control, parents\’ promises are \”Tao\”, while other training methods are \”Skills\”. If parents themselves cannot do what they say, but just spend time trying various methods to train their children, they will focus on \”skills\” rather than \”Tao\” and ignore the basics, and it will be difficult to achieve any satisfactory results. Learn self-control in social games. For example, in kindergarten, when children play on slides, they need to learn the rules of the game and safety rules. If you want everyone to play safely, they must play in order, without grabbing or pushing, or climbing up backwards from where they slipped down. For another example, the children played the \”little train\” game together and lined up the little chairs.As a train, agree that one child will be the driver and the other children will be passengers. In this game, \”passengers\” must restrain their urge to move around. They can only stand up and walk when they reach the station, and the roles agreed in advance cannot be changed at will. A child cannot be the driver one minute and the passenger the next. Let me share with you two games to exercise self-control: Stop at red light and green light: when you hear the red light, everyone is not allowed to move; when you hear the green light, everyone moves forward together; Wooden Man Game: everyone dances and swings to the music together, and when the music stops , no one is allowed to move; both games require children to obey instructions, that is, to control their own behavior. Parents can cultivate their children\’s self-control by clarifying principles and regulating their children\’s behavior in such situations. You will find that children can restrain themselves longer in play situations. These games can allow children to focus, think, eliminate interference, and consciously pay attention to their own actions. This is actually the process of exercising children\’s self-control ability. Encouraging children to plan can cultivate children\’s planning skills in many aspects of life. For example, before going to the mall, plan what you want to buy. Should you buy toys or snacks? Should you buy one toy or two. After arriving at the mall, strictly follow the plan. There should be no situation where you plan to buy one toy and end up buying four or five. Let your children get used to this way of buying things according to a plan, and you can also avoid the situation where your children are rolling around in the mall asking to buy this or that. What if you plan to buy one but come across two toys that your children particularly like? Don\’t miss this good opportunity to learn about \”choices\” and \”planning\” – let your child choose one item, and then discuss with your child to buy another one a week later (or a month later, or on the child\’s birthday). And record it in a small book as a voucher; then keep your promise and buy the toys back on time. One thing to remind is that parents must have self-control in this matter and strictly implement the plan, otherwise they will leave an impression on their children that \”plans are meant to be broken\”, which will instead weaken their children\’s self-control. Concrete the time you need to wait For babies, time is really an abstract concept that is too difficult to understand. \”We\’ll be there after another two hours of car ride\” and \”This cake will take another 20 minutes to bake.\” Unimaginable thinking about time will make the baby restless while waiting; and \”Two hours is the time when you and your mother are upstairs every day.\” \”Time to play\”, \”20 minutes is how long it takes you to watch an episode of cartoons\”, \”When the minute hand points to 5, you have to turn off the TV\”, the image descriptions will help the baby intuitively understand the length of time, and no longer feel that waiting is a long time. So far away. 5. Divert your attention and make waiting interesting. Your baby may lose his temper because he is not satisfied, or he may become depressed because he is preoccupied with thinking about things he has not yet obtained, making the waiting time increasingly boring and long. You can try to divert the baby\’s attention, such as observing the ants on the ground with the baby while waiting to play on the swing; telling the baby a funny story while waiting in line at the supermarket; singing a favorite song with the baby while waiting for the bus; Once it comes, the waiting process won’t be soWhen it gets boring, your baby will find that there are so many interesting things that can be done while waiting. Let’s take a look at a classic case of self-control from a group of best friends: Today my grandma went to the hospital for a physical check-up. My daughter and I were waiting at the door for grandma to come out. My daughter wanted to open the bread and eat it right away. The mother said: \”Grandma hasn\’t come out yet, let\’s wait until grandma comes out before eating.\” The daughter was reluctant at first and cried a little. Mom diverts attention – let\’s see what is this? (Looking for ants?) After waiting for a while, I thought of bread again – open the bread and open the Mom Trilogy – Empathy: Mom knows that Yiyi wants to eat bread. Principle: But we have to wait for grandma to come out before we can eat it. Method: You can put the bread Hold it in your arms and tell yourself to wait – specific + executable + useful. Yiyi holds the bread in her arms very seriously and continues to wait. While waiting, she says \”wait a minute\” to hint to herself. The whole process takes about 5 or 6 minutes, and I slowly learned to control myself. Self-control is important, and like a muscle, it needs exercise to become strong. The older you get, the harder it will be to get back to exercising. If you want your child to have better self-control when he grows up, you might as well start from a young age, start with these small things, and slowly exercise his \”self-control muscle\”.