How to educate a 9-year-old boy who steals money, parents’ alternative punishment wins praise

During the National Day, most children, accompanied by their parents, \”travel around\” and visit the great rivers and mountains of the motherland. But Hanghang, a 9-year-old boy from Chongqing, is busy picking up scraps to make money. After finally taking a long vacation, they let their children collect scraps to make money. Are the parents in this family crazy about money? Are you doing this to save money for your children to buy a house? If you look closely, you will realize that Hanghang’s parents are educating their children and teaching them a lesson. Previously, Hanghang secretly took 2,000 yuan from his grandmother to buy mobile game equipment. After his parents found out, they punished him by picking up scraps to \”pay off the debt.\” Hanghang\’s parents said that a beating would not solve the problem, but only in this way can their children realize that money is hard-earned. Hanghang earns about 100 yuan for a morning\’s work, and it will take \”a long, long time\” to repay the 2,000 yuan. Many netizens applauded the education method of Hanghang\’s parents: The parents\’ concept is right. They let their children know that money does not fall from the sky. Even a family cannot steal money without permission, but labor can create income. I think it\’s very good, and I hope the children will finally understand that \”stealing money is wrong, making money is not easy, and your parents love you.\” Let children \”take the blame\” for their own actions and make up for their mistakes through labor within their capabilities. Doing so can not only cultivate children\’s sense of responsibility, but also allow children to experience the difficulties of others through labor. I can\’t help but applaud: It is a mistake to treat children like this. , is undoubtedly superior to methods such as beating, scolding, and cold treatment. When my husband was in junior high school, he was obsessed with online games. He would often go to the Internet cafe after school, and then go home to do his homework after dark. However, he told his parents that he was playing at a friend\’s house. Later, my husband went to an Internet cafe and was caught by his mother-in-law. My father-in-law had a bad temper and immediately slapped her. After a severe beating, my mother-in-law taught me earnestly: Only by studying hard can you go to college and marry a wife, and by playing games you can only go to work. When my husband talked about this past incident, he said that he was very annoyed at that time. He didn\’t listen to the truth, and he didn\’t feel that he had done anything wrong. He just made up his mind in his heart: If you don\’t let me go, I insist on going! He then went to Internet cafes more frequently. I\’m very confused: How did you get into college and meet me? My husband laughed: Because they suddenly stopped caring about me, and even gave me an idea, asking me to go out with them to collect food on weekends to earn wages, and use it to go online. But when I actually followed them through the streets to collect food, I realized that this kind of work was too tiring and the money was not easy to come by. It turns out that what my mother told me before was true, so I quit playing games and concentrated on studying. Simple and rough beatings and scoldings are often difficult to achieve good educational results, and can also cause children to develop a rebellious mentality. They feel that making mistakes can gain the attention of adults, and resisting adults is very exciting, so they will \”repeat wrong behaviors\” intensified. For some children who are sensitive and fragile, beating and scolding may make the child more vulnerable and sensitive, causing low self-esteem and fear. In addition to not beating and scolding blindly, when facing children who make mistakes, you must also avoid these two pitfalls: treating mistakes as scourges. Yang Lan once said that after her daughter transferred from a public primary school to an international school for middle school, she once asked her daughter what the difference was in the education methods of the two schools. Her daughter told her the difference was that in public schools, teachers alwaysLet us not make mistakes; in international schools, teachers encourage us not to be afraid of making mistakes. Yang Lan couldn\’t help but sigh: Why are teachers, parents, and children so afraid of making mistakes? Because in their minds, making mistakes means failure. Failure means losing, and you will not be a respected king. Children who cannot afford to lose now will not be able to win when they grow up. I also want to tell parents that when their children make mistakes, parents should not just blame them, but face them with their children with a problem-solving attitude, and use mistakes as a tool to train children to resist frustration and sense of responsibility rather than as enemies. Cold violence is not the best way to deal with your child\’s mistakes. Many parents are very helpless. When their children make mistakes, they cannot beat or scold them, so they simply adopt the simplest method: cold treatment. Jade is not cut, not a device. Put aside the children who have made mistakes, ignore them, do not help the children analyze where they made mistakes, and do not guide the children in the correct way to deal with it. What seems to be a \”foolproof and resourceful\” approach is actually a manifestation of the lack of parental education methods and is also a lazy approach. This is not education but indulgence. Children who do not know how to take responsibility for their own actions may make bigger mistakes. On the other hand, it can cause the psychological link between children and parents to become fragile, making children feel threatened and anxious about their sense of security. Research has found that when parents use this method, their children will feel excessive guilt and may abide by the rules, but they will passively accept them rather than face them flexibly. You can’t hit or scold, but you can’t just ignore it? What should you do if your child makes a mistake? In \”Mom is Superman\”, Dalinzi accidentally bumped into a dumpling but refused to apologize. Deng Sha asked Dalinzi to say sorry to Jiaozi, but Dalinzi refused and used her grandmother as a shield. Later, Deng Sha took Dalinzi out of the room (to protect the child\’s self-esteem) and patiently persuaded him. She first asked if he hit his sister, so that the child could realize his mistake, and then persuaded him to apologize and let him take responsibility for his mistake. The answer Deng Sha told us is very simple, that is, patiently choose an education plan based on the child\’s personality characteristics and specific mistakes. There is a sentence in the book \”Children Come from Heaven\”: Children come into this world with the ability to love their parents, but they do not have the ability to love themselves or forgive themselves. Children learn to love themselves through the reactions of their parents when they make mistakes. of. In \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, Dajun and Xia Tian received the task of \”guarding the ice cream\”. Although they tried their best to protect it, their determination was slowly \”broken\” by Hu Jun, who lured the children to eat more than a dozen candies next to the ice cream. . The two children who knew they had made a mistake were uneasy and Dajun hid. Xia Tian was also secretly glad that the village chief did not find out. But the two children received different educations from the two parents. Lin Yongjian immediately yelled at Dajun angrily: Why do you want to eat? What do you eat? Da Jun\’s face was immediately filled with grievances and self-blame, and he looked away. He tried to touch his father\’s face, but was mercilessly pushed away by his father, which was extremely heartbreaking. Xia Keli\’s handling method was gentle and rational. He guided Xia Tian to realize her mistakes, told her what she should do, and punished her for facing the wall. By confronting your child’s mistakesWith his attitude at the time, you can understand why Lin Yongjian and his son are not as close as Xia Like and his daughter. It\’s a pity that most Chinese parents are \”Lin Yongjian\” and not \”Xia Li Ke\”. Psychologically speaking, after a child reaches the age of two, he or she begins to develop emotions such as shame and guilt. If children are not educated on the premise of protecting their psychology, it will inevitably cause harm. When facing children who make mistakes, you can refer to these tips: patiently listen to the child’s “quibbles”. By giving children a chance to speak and describe their mistakes, parents can have a more comprehensive understanding of what happened and avoid \”misjudgments,\” and children can also reflect on their own behavior. Identify the reasons why your child made a mistake. Focusing on the reasons why children make mistakes, targeted education can achieve twice the result with half the effort. First, see clearly whether the child really did something wrong, or whether it was a \”mistake\” caused by some reasons. If a child\’s \”mistakes\” are attributed to \”mistakes\”, it is easy for the child to develop resistance, and the education will not achieve the desired effect. Criticism should pay attention to methods. When criticizing children, you must choose the right occasion and the right tone. After understanding the truth of the matter, it is best for parents not to educate their children in front of outsiders and stimulate their children\’s self-esteem. Encourage children to correct their mistakes immediately. When children know their mistakes and find ways to make up for them, parents should be careful not to dwell on their children\’s mistakes. Excessive discipline may cause an \”overlimit effect\” and lead to reverse effects. Just like in a video circulated on the Internet before, the mother questioned her daughter after she realized her mistake, and what she got was her daughter\’s helplessness and collapse. Psychologist Nolte said: If a child lives in a critical environment, he learns to blame; if a child lives in a humiliating environment, he learns to feel guilty; if a child lives in an encouraging environment, he learns to be confident; If a child lives in an environment of approval, he learns to love himself; if a child lives in an environment of mutual recognition and friendship, he learns to find love in the world. Let us use love and patience to help children face their mistakes and learn from experience, so that mistakes become a ladder to improve children\’s responsibility and resistance to stress, rather than an obstacle.