How to educate and train children

Every plant has its own growth cycle, and so do children. We just need to follow the child\’s rhythm and grow as they please. In the process of raising children, we are obedient and obedient to our children, but what we get instead of gratitude is that our children blame us for taking too much care. Dr. Judith Locke once said: In the process of raising children, love and care for children should be moderate. Over-nurturing will not only fail to raise independent and responsible children, but will also raise bonsai children. Bonsai children, just like bonsai, are prone to stunted development, poor independence, poor psychological flexibility, and weak resistance to frustration. They cannot withstand any wind and rain. They are also unable to realize their potential because of being restrained, and even cannot support their parents\’ upbringing. Brings stress. Yesterday, a fan left a message saying that the child is too difficult to manage and asked me how to discipline the child so that the child can be obedient. There is really nothing I can do now. Then she asked the child questions, and she said that the child did not do his homework well, was stubborn about everything, and was always very playful, and she was very angry about this. Especially when I see my friends’ children with good grades and then look at my own children and ask them about things they don’t know, I feel even more angry when I compare them. Why are my children so different from other people’s children? The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Is it because my child is too stupid or just disobedient? I think many parents will have this idea. In fact, I used to have this idea like everyone else. But as I read more and more books, I discovered that children actually have their own growth cycle just like plants. What we need to do is to lead and guide our children as they grow, pruning when it’s time to prune and watering when it’s time to water. Fertilize when it\’s time to fertilize. Over-watering, over-fertilizing, and over-pruning will not work. All these have been done, calm down and let it grow slowly. Therefore, when a child has a problem, don\’t blame the child immediately, but reflect on your own parenting style and what went wrong. Are you asking too much or expecting too much from your children, or are you placing too many constraints on your children in life? When you figure it out, try to let go appropriately and let your child grow. Just like now, we treat our children like plants, manage them when they need to be managed, loosen them when they need to be loosened, guide them when they need to be guided, and prune them when they need to be pruned. No longer control too much. When the child is wrong, if he really tells the child, he no longer continues to blame himself, but admits that he is not perfect. Since I am a first-time mother, it is normal to make mistakes. After making a mistake, just recognize your own problem and change yourself. There is no need to blame or criticize yourself, which will only make you more anxious. The author of \”Moderate Parenting\” once said: The concept of perfect parenting will only make us feel guilty. Parents will always feel resentful about the minor pains or unavoidable mistakes they made in raising their children. This causes many parents to experience parenting anxiety and pain, which in turn prompts parents to adopt a doting parenting style. Therefore, in the process of raising children, it is not that children become more and more difficult to teach. It\’s about having a perfect education mentality during the upbringing process, and causing guilt due to the perfect mentality. see thisAfter this paragraph, I instantly gave up the idea of ​​a perfect mother, and instead used methods suitable for my child’s growth cycle to accompany my child’s growth. I no longer continue to make up for childhood shortcomings from my children as I did before, and I no longer have high expectations for my children. The love and material things that I didn\’t get when I was a child have become a thing of the past. I can\’t give it to my children just because I didn\’t have it before. Instead, look at the problem with a rational attitude, see if the child\’s request is reasonable, satisfy it if it is reasonable, and reject it if it is unreasonable. Because satisfying children without a bottom line is not what the children need most at the moment, and it will not raise independent and excellent children. Parents\’ unbounded indulgence may appear to be love, but in fact it is doting. Looking at it more deeply, it is just making up for a flawed childhood. True love for children does not mean buying them many material things, but giving them enough love. In love, let children have independent personalities, become independent individuals, and be able to freely explore and boldly pursue their own things. wonderful Life. A truly loving way for parents to raise their children is to accept their children\’s strengths and weaknesses, rather than forcing them to excel in everything. Written at the end: The purpose of raising children is to raise independent and responsible individuals. As parents, we should not be a scaffolding for our children and let them grow independently. Instead of being a helicopter or lawnmower parent all the time, your children lose the opportunity to explore and grow independently and hinder their growth. Therefore, when raising children, do not be overly worried or anxious, and do not just listen to what parenting methods are good and apply them immediately. You should first get to know the child and see what stage the child is at. Because the results of rigorous parenting research have been oversimplified after being vigorously promoted by the media and experts, leading to over-parenting by parents. For example, experts say that you must learn to listen and respond to your children, and make your children feel that they are important. In fact, you have already done it in life, so there is no need to do it again. If you do it again, it will lead to over-parenting. Therefore, the responsibility of parents is to understand and give their children opportunities to explore freely and grow according to their own growth patterns. Love is letting go, love is trust, love is acceptance, love is understanding.