How to educate children to manage their emotions

Emotion management has always been a topic of concern to parents. Today, Doudehui brings you an article about empathy written by Professor Hong Lan. She believes that empathy is the core of emotional education, and for children to have empathy, parents’ patient teaching is crucial. The core of emotional education is empathy. The United Nations Children\’s Fund (UNICEF) believes that early childhood education should focus on emotional control and the development of good habits. As research into brain development continues, it has been discovered that the best time to teach emotional control and habits is between two and three years of age. The most important thing in emotional education is empathy, that is, feeling the same way, that is, \”people drown themselves in drowning\” (from \”Mencius·Li Lou Xia\”). In fact, everyone has compassion. When we see someone else\’s hand being pricked by a needle, we will also feel pain, but the degree of pain varies from person to person. Empathy is innate, with mirror neurons in the brain functioning since birth. For example, as long as one of the babies in the hospital nursery cries, the others will cry too; when a young child sees others crying, he will cry even though he does not know why. Empathy plays an important role in children\’s social skills. Empathy plays an important role in children\’s social skills. Understanding the needs of others, feeling the pain of others, and being willing to lend a hand to help, this kind of compassionate Children will definitely make friends. To have empathy, you need to have the ability to peer into the inner state of others, which is the so-called ability to \”observe words and colors.\” \”Yan\’s Family Instructions\” says, \”When a godmother first comes, she teaches babies, recognizes people\’s colors, and knows people\’s moods and anger.\” This observation ability needs to be taught. Although some children are naturally smarter, most of them need to be patiently taught by their parents to develop. Better. Empathy can calm children down. There are 12 nerves in the human brain, the longest of which is called the \”vagus nerve\”. It is connected to our internal organs. When a child cries, the lungs, chest, and stomach contract violently (so when a child cries, he often spits out milk). Empathy relaxes the vagus nerve and calms the child. For example, a child is clamoring for water in a public place, but the water dispenser is broken and there is no water. Recommended books on children\’s behavioral psychology: How to improve the performance of high emotional intelligence (all four volumes epub+mobi+azw3) At this time, the best way is to tell the child with empathy: \”You are very thirsty, aren\’t you? You really want to drink some ice.\” Water! Mom knows it’s uncomfortable to be thirsty. It’s a pity that the water dispenser here is broken, otherwise mom would pick you up and make you drink as much as you can.” When you tell him how he feels, admit that he is thirsty (note The word \”acknowledge\” often means that a child cries because he is uncomfortable and you do not admit the reason for his crying, thinking that he is making trouble unreasonably. Studies have found that even 2-year-old children will cry non-stop when they are wronged. ), once he feels that his needs are understood by you and sympathized with by you, he will feel much better, and he will lay his head on your shoulder and stop crying. Some studies have found that if the doctor\’s heartbeat and skin temperature are synchronized with the patient\’s when seeing a doctor, the patient will recover faster (this is called \”physiological synchronization\”, in English, physiological synchrony, it has been clinically observed that patients with empathetic doctors get better faster and have fewer surgical complications). In other words, when a patient feels that the doctor is listening to and caring about him, his mood will relax. When the body\’s own immunity is no longer suppressed by emotions, the disease will heal faster. Help your child express his or her inner feelings. The same goes for children. Stanley Greenspan, professor of pediatrics at George Washington University School of Medicine, said in his book Great Kids (originally titled Great Kids), “Empathy comes from feeling for others, and if your children are interacting Have 30% empathy at all times and you will have a happy child.” Parents can first teach their children \”what feelings are what emotions\” (this can help him express them in words instead of crying), then teach him what to do when he has this emotion, and finally let him know the impact of this emotion. The influence of others. For example, you can say to your child: \”Someone broke your toy, and you are very angry, which is called anger; you will also be sad, which is called sad.\” You want your child to know that it is normal to have emotions, but not It must be expressed by crying. Finally, parents must teach their children to see problems from other people\’s perspectives and understand other people\’s moods, so as to release their own emotions. For example, if two children are fighting for a swing in the park, their parents can say: \”You like to swing on the swing very much, right? It\’s so high and the wind blows so comfortable, right? Xiao Ming also likes to be blown very comfortably. Do you want him to feel it too?\” In addition, remember to tell your child how his emotions and behaviors will affect others. Often, when children develop empathy, negative emotions can be eliminated. There is no quick way to cultivate children\’s empathy. As long as parents grasp the trick of \”empathizing with others\”, over time, their children will naturally become a compassionate and willing to share.