How to educate children when they make mistakes? This kind of criticism is the most effective!

For young children, there are always times when parents need to point out their mistakes and tell their children not to do that. This is the responsibility of the educator. However, many times this kind of critical education does not achieve good results, and the result is that the parents are annoyed and the children are at a loss. The content of what you say is important, but if you say the same content in different ways, it will have completely different effects. Even adults will feel this way, not to mention young children. He has no ability to analyze the good intentions of his parents\’ words. He only perceives adults directly from the way they speak. If parents pay more attention to their language methods, the effect of education may be very different. Let’s talk about three language strategies for “criticizing” children based on some common misunderstandings of parents. Accurate expression ensures effective communication. I have heard of such an example: a father and his son were walking together, but the son didn’t want to go by himself, so he opened his hands and said: “Dad, hug, dad, hug!” The father said: “Where are your legs? ?\” The son lowered his head, looked at his legs, then raised his head again and said with open hands: \”Daddy, hug, daddy, hug!\” The father repeated with dissatisfaction: \”Where are your legs?\” The son lowered his head again in confusion. Look at your legs, then open your hands and say with a cry: \”Daddy hugs, daddy hugs!\”…Obviously, what dad means is: you have to walk by yourself when you have legs. However, a young child does not have such understanding at all. He really did not understand. He thought that his father was just asking about his legs. He looked at where his legs were. He really didn\’t understand what the relationship was between him wanting his father to hold him and his legs. When adults talk to each other, they sometimes pay attention to obedience. Many conventions or expressions in specific situations can be understood by adults and older children. However, when adults face young children, they also express themselves in accordance with their own language habits. It is difficult to ensure effective communication. The children didn\’t understand it at all, so there was no educational effect at all. Therefore, when parents speak, they must take into account the age and understanding of their children, and try to speak clearly and accurately without using roundabout ways. There is also a mother who is troubled by her 3-year-old daughter\’s trouble getting up in the morning and is late for kindergarten every day. She said that every time she was late, she would ask her daughter: \”Are you still dawdling in the future?\” Her daughter would promise: \”I will never dawdle in the future again!\” However, she still dawdled the next day and was still late! In fact, when a child over 3 years old promised to \”not dawdle\”, it was just to make her mother happy, because she knew that her mother needed her to express her attitude. For a child, \”not dawdling\” is a very general concept. In her mind, she may not know exactly what kind of behavior her commitment means. If the mother\’s request for the child is that he must get dressed as soon as the alarm clock goes off, or that he cannot play with toys at home in the morning and must go out directly, etc., the child will be much clearer about such very specific behaviors and know exactly what he should do. Do. In fact, when parents usually speak to their children, the more accurate the language, the better. This can not only greatly improve the effectiveness of parent-child communication and ensure that the children understand what the parents mean, but also improve the children\’s language ability andThinking skills are also a good way to cultivate. Telling consequences is better than judging right from wrong. When many mothers stop their children, they directly say \”No…\” or \”… is wrong!\” Parents directly judge right from wrong and right from wrong for their children. Are there any problems with such language? I once met a mother who said that her 2-year-old son always wanted to pick flowers when he went out to play. She told her son, \”It\’s wrong to pick flowers.\” She always taught her son this way, and the effect of her education was really good. However, when I was reading picture books and telling stories at home, the birthday gift that the little rabbit gave to the little bear was flowers that she picked herself. Every time the child looked at it, she would say, \”It\’s wrong to pick flowers.\” The next page showed the little rabbit tying the flowers. , the children will say \”those are the flowers I bought\” when they see them. The mother felt helpless when she heard her child say this. I generally do not judge children directly about right and wrong. I focus on telling children the consequences of their actions. Daxue also liked to pick flowers when he was a child. I think it is very natural and understandable for children to love flowers very much when they see them and want to explore and understand them with their hands. At this time, it should be treated differently according to the environment. If it is a wild flower that grows on its own in the grass, there is no need to worry about the children. Of course, urban children now have fewer opportunities to pick flowers at will. If it is artificially planted flowers in parks or flower beds, I will tell the children: \”You cannot pick the flowers here. These are the flowers planted by your uncle. If you pick them, you will be fined.\” Even heavy snow can accept it. Even though Daxue didn\’t have many opportunities to pick flowers at will, she also knew that there was nothing wrong with picking flowers, but it was just not allowed on certain occasions. Many things in life cannot be simply judged as right or wrong. The judgment of right or wrong often changes due to different external circumstances. Parents who generally define what is right or wrong about something will inevitably face the embarrassment of their children finding counterexamples in their lives. Furthermore, the formation of the concept of right and wrong depends on the child\’s own judgment. Only by giving children the opportunity to judge for themselves can children gradually form their own judgment through life experience, and be able to make appropriate judgments when faced with various life scenarios they have never experienced before. If parents continue to define right and wrong for their children since childhood, either the children will completely succumb to the authority of their parents, will not think and judge for themselves, and must obey the opinions of others in everything; or when the children grow older, they will question and resist the authority of their parents, and their parents\’ words will Can\’t listen either. For young children, parents do not need to give authoritative judgments of right and wrong. Many times, children just don\’t understand which behaviors will have bad consequences, and everyone wants to avoid bad consequences. Parents only need to tell their children about the consequences, let them judge whether their behavior is good or bad, and help them make the right choice through reminders of consequences. This is education. Good emotions are the soul of language. As the saying goes, \”Words are the voice of the heart.\” Parents\’ language always expresses their emotions and mentality. Although young children are not as capable as adults in understanding language, they are very sensitive to emotions. Even a swaddled baby cannot understand the mother\’s words at all, but when the mother speaks, she is full of patient care and impatient boredom, and the baby can understand it. When talking to children, parents\’ own emotions are crucial. Some parents vent their emotions in the name of educating their children.thread. If a child behaves the same way when his parents are in a good mood, he may just say it and let it pass. If he is in a bad mood, he must be taught a lesson. This kind of education can only make children confused. The child cannot understand that the father is angry because of unfair treatment in the work unit, and the mother is angry because she is too tired. When children just hear their parents\’ criticism of themselves, they will either feel dissatisfied and arouse strong resistance, erupting parent-child conflicts; or they will accept everything and be infinitely annoyed, lowering their evaluation of themselves. When parents are stuck in bad emotions, they cannot educate their children. \”Education\” at this time often involves parents venting their emotions, but putting a mental burden on their children. There are also times when parents become anxious because of their children\’s condition. Parents who want to educate their children well are really anxious when they see some unsatisfactory performance of their children. Anxiety is contagious, and anxiety can increase children\’s mood swings and make it more difficult to focus on their own development. Haste makes waste. If a person is in a state of anxiety, let alone realizing their potential, they often cannot even develop their original abilities. Parents\’ anxiety about their children often causes children to have more negative evaluations of themselves, affecting their self-confidence. Maintaining a good attitude is the most important thing for good parents. Or you can use an analogy. When parents \”criticize\” their children, they should \”pay attention to the enemy tactically and ignore the enemy strategically.\” In other words, you can point out the mistakes that should be pointed out, explain the truth that the child does not understand, and pay attention to it tactically; however, do not take the child\’s shortcomings too seriously in your heart, and you must fully accept the child in your heart. Which child has no shortcomings? Parents must give their children time to grow up and allow them to slowly improve themselves as they grow up. Parents should have full confidence in their children to correct their shortcomings. Parents should always believe that their children are good children. Anxiety is contagious, and so is confidence. If children are infected with the confidence of their parents, they will naturally become more confident and grow better.