How to establish a sense of rules for children aged 2-6 years old? (Must read for teachers and parents)

As the old saying goes, \”If you don\’t follow the rules, you won\’t be able to achieve success.\” As a parent, we all hope that our children can develop good study and living habits when they are young. Let your children know what they can and cannot do. Let him grow up to be a person who knows etiquette, understands rules, and abides by rules. Recently, a friend complained to me: After learning so many parenting skills, why do I still fail to educate my children well and still go my own way? Is there something wrong with the child\’s personality? In fact, this is a common phenomenon in life. Before the age of 3, children are well-behaved, obedient, and cute no matter how you look at them; after the age of 3, children become more and more troublesome, such as being self-centered, not listening to adults, and being stubborn and talking back, etc. If you attribute all these problems in your child to the child\’s personality, it is likely that you have deviated from the direction of education. The reason why children have the seemingly \”rebellious\” problems of our adults is rooted in the lack of rules. Especially when they are 2-6 years old, parents do not establish a sense of rules for their children. Today I will share with you how to establish a sense of rules for your children. Children can do things by themselves. A fan left a message in our backstage. She said that there is a problem that has been bothering her: her child is in kindergarten. Before going to school every day, she always asks her mother to put on socks and shoes for her; these things Obviously the child can do it himself and has the ability to do it, but he just refuses to do it. As parents, we originally wanted to establish a rule for our children, hoping that they could do their own things. But when a child refuses by crying and refuses to do something, what exactly is the problem? In fact, the main reason is that sometimes parents do not insist. For example, sometimes in order to rush for time, we see that the child is very slow to put on his socks, so we rush to help him put them on. I didn’t stick to the rules I set, and I also found a reason to tell my child why I helped him put on his socks. Over time, the child will naturally find a reason to ask his mother to help him put it on. If you let him do his own thing, he will reject you by crying. Many parents always habitually help their children do things in life, such as helping them dress, tying their shoes, and organizing their daily schoolbags and desks. In fact, when a child has the ability to do something, parents should let go and let the child develop a good habit of doing what he can do. So, how can we let our children do their own things? If you want your children to develop the good habit of doing things by themselves, both willingness and ability are indispensable: children have the initiative to do things independently. The child has the ability to do something. For younger children, they mainly learn and master some life skills through interaction and imitation with adults. Before the age of 6, children mainly understand the world around them through sensory exploration. Therefore, children generally have the desire to do things proactively, and what parents have to do is to find out whether their children have the ability to do something. For example, let\’s take the common shoelace tying as an example. If you want a child to tie his own shoelaces, it depends on whether the child has this ability. Children before the age of 4 are not flexible enough in the fine movements of their hands, and their fingers are not very flexible in pinching and grasping.He is not proficient enough, so asking him to tie his own shoelaces at this time is obviously not an appropriate consideration. It is important to make children independent and independent, but protecting children\’s \”willingness to be independent\” and \”the ability to do things\” are more important prerequisites. Adhere to the Three Nos. Every child will be naughty, emotional, and disobedient. Many parents are used to educating their children in a reasonable way. Do you want to reason with your children? Of course you do, and it is necessary. So why does reasoning with children fail to work? The reason is that the method is wrong. Young children\’s brains are developing rapidly, and their memories are updated quickly and difficult to last. The younger the child, the harder it is to form long-term memories. For example, it is difficult for us to remember things that happened before the age of 3, and children before the age of 7 rarely remember things that happened a few years ago. A child\’s thinking and understanding abilities cannot effectively connect the principles taught by his parents with his past experiences and feelings; he cannot understand the principles you explain and cannot connect them with their life experiences and feelings. In the eyes of children, most of the time they believe that \”seeing is believing\” and whatever they see is what they see. Education is never a process of reasoning, but a process of letting children experience it. Parents can try the following \”three no\’s principles\”: don\’t hurt yourself, don\’t disturb others, and don\’t damage the environment. (1) Don’t hurt yourself: Whether at home or playing outside, safety always comes first, and you must learn to protect yourself. (2) Do not disturb others: When children play together, conflicts will inevitably arise sometimes. As long as you observe and analyze carefully, you will find conflicts between children. The main reason is that they disturb each other. For example, if one child is focused on playing building blocks, and another child sees the child and rushes over to play, the two will inevitably have conflicts. At this time, as a parent, you must let your children understand that you can do what you like in class or in public places, but you cannot disturb others. (3) Not destroying the environment: We can understand this environment as the family environment or the collective environment. What children do must abide by the rules and codes agreed in this environment. For example, many children like to draw. Some children can safely draw a picture in a drawing book; while some children draw pictures everywhere on the walls, tables, and even the tablecloths at school. With the traces he left behind, this is damaging the environment. For another example, some children like to play football and skip rope. Sometimes they make a lot of noise at home at 9:30 in the evening. These are actually behaviors that damage the environment. Parents who control too little and control too strictly are not uncommon around us. In fact, as long as the children can adhere to these \”three no\’s principles\”, they can let go of other things and let the children explore freely on their own. Set rules gently but firmly. Parents in every family will set some house rules for their children. Some are verbal, and some are written or drawn with the children. The purpose of setting rules is to let children know what they can do and what they cannot do. Dr. Dobson has a passage in \”The Courage to Discipline\” about rules: \”If the suspensionIf there is a railing on the edge of the cliff, then people dare to lean on the railing and look down, because they will not be afraid of falling; if there is no railing, everyone will stop far away from the cliff, let alone stand on the edge of the cliff and look down. Looked down. The railing is the boundary. Children who know the boundaries (rules) will feel safe; on the contrary, children without boundaries will not feel safe because they do not know where the safety standard is. \”Loving children is our instinct; it is our responsibility to set rules for our children so that they can grow into adults who can take charge of their own affairs. Only the unity of rules and love can achieve the future of our children. So at what age is it best to set rules for your children? What? Children will go through a \”sensitive period of self-awareness\” when they are 2-3 years old. The child has his own ideas and wants to try everything by himself. He wants to eat by himself, and when he sees adults sweeping and mopping the floor, he also wants to try it. When we see adults cooking and cooking, he has to do it himself. If we carefully review the growth of children, we will find that children of this age do not like to be arranged, but like to do it themselves and experience it. Therefore, 3-6 This period is also the best age to set rules for children, create an environment suitable for them to experience, and let them try and explore. Professor Li Meijin of the People\’s Public Security University of China said: \”Three to six years old must be. Character training is in place. Character training is to set rules for children. Rules are very, very important. Setting rules is a painful process. If you set them too late, the child will resist. However, before the age of six, if the child is still attached to you, he will obey you. Therefore, rules should be established before the age of six. \”When parents set rules for their children, they must use positive words and sentences. They only need 2-5 rules, which must be in line with the child\’s age and ability. For example, the following rules. 1. No rough and vulgar behavior. 2 . You cannot take other people’s things, and you have to control your own things. 3. Put things back where they are taken from. 4. Whoever gets the toys and all public supplies first will use them first. 5. Do it. Apologize for wrong things and have the right to ask others to apologize. 6. Don’t waste food and think of it as hard-earned. 7. Learn to protect yourself when you are in danger. No principle is more important than life. Mind, the best education is in action. The term \”absorptive mind\” was mentioned by the Italian educator Dr. Maria Montessori in her book \”The Absorbent Mind\”. When they are young, especially between the ages of 0 and 6, they have a strong ability to absorb. Their absorptive minds will absorb information from the environment like a sponge, whether it is good or bad, we can absorb it. A child\’s \”absorptive mind\” is likened to a camera. He absorbs what he sees and hears into his brain and internalizes it as part of himself. We often say that the kind of person a child will become in the future largely depends on it. It depends on what kind of family education a child receives when growing up. Parents are the best benchmarks and role models for children\’s growth. The best education is in action. Loving children is instinctive, and setting rules is responsible. Being wise. Loving children is long-lasting love. If parents do these four things, their children will be happy.You must be able to become a person who obeys the rules, understands the rules, has light in his eyes, and has a pattern in his heart.