How to help children deal with criticism correctly

Mr. Tao Xingzhi once said: When educating children, criticism is more profound than praise, because criticism must pay attention to methods. This is an art. If you use it well, it will be more effective than praise. For parents, criticizing their children is a downright technical job. If the criticism is not adequate, it will be difficult for children to make corrections if they do not recognize their own problems; however, excessive criticism can easily damage the child\’s self-esteem and make the child think that he is not loved by his parents and has accomplished nothing. So today Doudehui wants to share with you the correct way to open criticism, let’s take a look! 01 Before criticizing, you need to understand the full story of the incident. I don’t know if parents have ever encountered this kind of situation when taking their children out to play. Obviously my child was playing well with the other children, but the other one suddenly started crying. Parents think that their children are bullying others, so they scold their children, but in fact it is the other person\’s problem. Sometimes children have had conflicts before, or parents think that their children have made mistakes before they want to criticize them. They must accurately understand the entire incident before making a judgment. Otherwise, if you wrongly accuse the child, it will not solve the problem, and it will also affect the relationship between the parent and the child. 02 Criticism should be directed at the person rather than the person. Stephen P. Robbins, a famous American management scientist, emphasized: Criticism should be directed at the person. Criticism should be linked to the specific fault rather than to the personality traits of the person who made the mistake, making it easier for children to accept such criticism. When criticizing, you must remember to only criticize the current problem. Don\’t deny everything about the child just because of a trivial matter, and don\’t treat the child differently based on his or her personality. 03 Avoid criticizing a mature adult when a child is out of control. A mature adult cannot listen to any reason when the child is out of control, let alone a child. When a child is crying and losing control of his emotions, the first thing a parent should do is not to criticize or yell at him, but to help him calm down and calm down. Then criticize and educate the children based on the actual situation, so as to achieve the effect, otherwise it will just be two emotionally out-of-control people yelling at each other. 04 Don’t deflect the purpose of criticism. The purpose of criticism should be to help children realize their mistakes, not to punish them. The impact of parents\’ emotional instability on their children is beyond your imagination. Therefore, when parents criticize their children, they must proceed from the actual situation. Just criticize the failure to clean the room because the room is not cleaned. Don\’t label it as \”lazy\”, \”accomplished\”, etc. A label with offensive and negative connotations. This will only damage the child\’s self-esteem and make the child feel inferior. If a mistake cannot be corrected, it will be affected throughout your life. 05 Communicate equally with children. Sometimes, when parents educate their children, they always like to act condescending and criticize everything their children do. It seems that doing so can highlight the seriousness of the problem the child has made and make the child realize his mistake, but in fact, doing so does not achieve the effect of solving the problem at all. What is really effective is to let go of the so-called \”patriarchal and maternal\” ideas, consider the children\’s issues as equals, and let the children know that even if they make mistakes, their parentsYou also love yourself, so this kind of criticism and education is meaningful. 06 Criticism should be combined with encouragement. When criticizing children, in addition to explaining the problems the children have committed one by one, it is best to provide appropriate encouragement to the children. Let them know that everyone makes mistakes, and it is not terrible to make mistakes, as long as they can correct them and have the courage to accept their mistakes. Education is a subject that requires parents to study throughout their lives, but as long as you are willing to work hard for it, you will never have time.