How to improve children’s poor self-discipline

In everyone\’s WeChat, there is always a community similar to \”I love my family\” and \”Love each other and we are a family\”. This community either has no news for several days, or hundreds of messages pop up at once. In the past few days, my cousin suddenly asked a question, and the group immediately exploded… Her question was \”Is there any way to get the child to get up on time?\” She said that she was anxious to go out, but the child was fine, no matter what No matter how much I scream, I just refuse to get up. When she asked this question, everyone started discussing it. From this eloquent exchange, I saw a common phenomenon: parents are complaining about their children not getting up for a long time. The parents are helpless when their children are too lazy to get out of bed. When I shared this matter with my friend and asked her for her experience in educating children. She said: \”There is no experience, it\’s just endurance.\” Educating children is like walking with a snail. Behind every self-disciplined child, there is a \”tolerant\” mother. Being able to endure is the highest state of being a mother. Resisting children’s dilly-dallying. A friend’s daughter has a 7-year-old daughter. When she first started in elementary school, she was also a lazy girl. She dilly-dallyed in everything she did, looking careless and irrelevant to me. You urged her, and the child said calmly: \”We children are slow to do things. The more you urge us, the slower we will be.\” Later, a friend said to the child, \”From tomorrow on, mom will not rush you.\” Mom will only remind you that you need to arrange your own time.\” The next day, the child still got up lazily, brushed his teeth and had breakfast. The friend watched quietly from the side, dumbfounded and unable to make a sound. This is the mp3 of 52 compulsory lessons for Chinese parents during the critical period of children\’s growth. When the children packed their schoolbags and went out, not a single child was seen on the street. As expected, the child was late for class and was criticized by the teacher. The child looked aggrieved and blamed her mother for not urging her to hurry up. My friend told the child what he said yesterday again, and this time the child seemed to understand. Since then, the child has never been urged to get up. Being able to endure is the highest state of being a mother. As parents, remember: we are just \”sparring partners\”, and the leader of the game is always the child. Only in this way can the child learn to be responsible for himself. In life, there are always some children who seem to be slow and dilly-dallying. When encountering this kind of situation, parents will be very anxious and can\’t help but urge or even scold their children. However, the more you push, the slower your child will become. What should you do when faced with a child who is dawdling? The secret is just two words: endure. When children dilly-dally, parents should resist urging and let the children bear the consequences of their dilly-dallying. Only when children are truly attentive will their inner motivation radiate. Parents\’ external urging not only fails to help children develop self-discipline, but also brings two serious consequences. First, the child is cowardly and has no independent opinion. No parent can avoid urging their children, especially in a fast-paced life. No matter what their children do, parents have to urge their children to keep up with their own pace and complete one thing. As everyone knows, children will gradually develop a dependence mentality under the constant urging of their parents. \”Anyway, there is supervision from parents, so there is no need to worry.\” When the child found outAfter this \”shortcut\”, if you encounter various things in the future, without the urging of your parents, you will always be undecided and at a loss. If things go on like this, the child will become weak and have no independent opinion. Second, he is easily irritable and lacks patience. A child who has been pushed since childhood will naturally become impatient when he grows up. Once something goes wrong, it will be difficult to control his emotions. Over time, the child will develop an easily irritable character. Educator Dr. Montessori said that every character defect is caused by some kind of wrong treatment experienced in childhood. Psychologists also believe that the root cause of any kind of mental illness is the trauma suffered in childhood. The words of parents’ constant urging are not a light breeze, they are powerful. It can not only make the child feel the spring-like temperature, but also expose the child to the biting winter, which is like a knife hurting the child. And urging is the knives. Everything we do to a child will bear fruit, not only affecting his life, but also determining his life. I have to bear to do everything for my children. Today\’s children are very delicate. \”They are afraid of melting when they are held in their mouths, and they are afraid of falling when they are held in their hands.\” At home, they are even reluctant to let their children do housework and put away their belongings; even those who are 5 or 6 years old The grandma chases after the child to feed him and help him wash his hands and face… Parents think this is a sign of saving time and loving their children, but they don\’t know that it was they themselves who turned the child into a \”giant baby\”. Meticulous care not only fails to help children grow independently, but also hinders their normal development. Yang Jiang’s father said: Educating children to be independent is better than being number one. Children who do not have the ability to live independently will find it difficult to live happily and comfortably no matter how good they are. \”Please help me complete it independently\” is the inherent need of every child\’s nature. Dr. Montessori pointed out that the first task of early childhood education is not to set up obstacles to children\’s normal growth. Never help a child do something he thinks he can handle on his own. This should be a parenting rule that every parent needs to abide by. Parents who are far-sighted know how to resist doing everything for their children, and know how to let their children do things within their capabilities from an early age. Love that knows how to let go is the best gift parents can give their children. When educating children, you must not fall into the misunderstanding of \”nanny-style\” parenting. They worry about every detail for their children, and their parents take care of everything big and small. Not only will the parents be tired, but so will the children, and it may also hinder the child\’s development. After the child reaches the age of 3, he or she has passed an important period of developing a sense of security. Parents should learn to let go and start training their children\’s ability to take care of themselves independently. In life, let the child do things by himself, such as packing his school bag, tidying up the room regularly, and washing his own clothes and socks. The child will gradually learn to manage himself, which is a stage that he must go through when he grows up. Be sure to let your children participate in housework, and give them more opportunities to work and do housework, such as choosing vegetables, taking out the trash, setting tableware, etc. In life, if you are lazy, your children will be more diligent. No matter what hardships life throws at you, please control your temper in front of your children. The more calm you are on the parenting journey, the smarter your children will beLosing your temper at your child will not only destroy his spirituality, but will also make you angry. The thinker Rousseau once said that the three most useless education methods in the world are: reasoning, losing temper, and deliberately moving. However, in life, many parents often cannot control their temper when educating their children. When they see some of their children\’s behaviors and preaching doesn\’t work, parents\’ emotions suddenly burst out. If parents often lose their temper, over time, the children will either resist and go further and further down the road of rebellion; or they will be fearful and frightened, and become even more timid, inferior and sensitive when they grow up. As a parent, you can never imagine how scared your child is when you lose your temper with them. There is a scene in the picture book \”Loud Mother\”: After the little penguin was yelled by his mother, he felt that he was torn apart by the earthquake. His head, mouth, wings, body and tail were all separated. The head flies into the universe, the body falls into the sea, the mouth falls on the top of the mountain, and the wings are inserted into the body of the tiger mother… The picture book vividly depicts the inner expression of the child after being yelled at through concise language and illustrations. And this means that the child\’s sense of security has been destroyed. Dr. Montessori said that the development of a child in the first three years after birth exceeds any stage in a child\’s life in terms of extent and importance. The impact on a child 2-3 years old may change his life. During this period, if he is affected by injury, violence, or other disorders, his personality will deviate. When your child loses his temper and you can\’t help but want to get angry at your child, here\’s what you can do. First, accept the fact that you are angry, don\’t feel guilty, and let your child know what your emotional response is to him at this moment. Secondly, objectively express your feelings and concerns about your child. For example: I am angry because I am worried about you; rather than: Why is your child always such a headache! When we are angry, we often think that our children are making trouble unreasonably, but when we calm down and think about it, we probably feel aggrieved by them. Who would start losing their temper out of nowhere? Every emotion has a reason, both for adults and for children. When you can\’t help but lose your temper with your child, there is only one way to solve it, and that is to hold it back. If that doesn\’t work, then be more patient. Being a parent is a science. If you want your children to become better, parents must learn to \”forbear\”. The more parents can tolerate these three things, the better their children will be in the future.