How to improve self-control, which does not mean letting go?

I made a big mistake before, cultivating children\’s self-control. Well, I let this matter go. I have to trust my children and believe that she can do a good job. If you do it, feel happy, and let go more often in the future. The situation is out of control and labeling the child means he cannot control it. Now look, what is behind this approach? 1. Single-line thinking that is either black or white. Either help her do it, or make a big deal out of it. I don’t know there are many gray areas in the middle. I don’t know what other appropriate ways I can support and help the child. Second, they do not understand the development characteristics of children. It is normal for a three- or four-year-old child to be unable to control himself. He does not objectively see the child\’s current abilities and simply thinks that if I believe in you, you will do it. In addition to these two points, if you have time later, continue to analyze yourself? So how should I help my children develop self-control? 1. Provide specific strategies. As adults, we should take the initiative to build some scaffolding for our children. For example, when the teacher talks about the school bag list, pack it according to the list; when you finish the homework basket, put it in it to prevent it from being lost. Two, stay patient. Children\’s Whole Brain Development Early Education Course: A Collection of 101 Early Childhood Education Parent-Child Games [Audio + PDF] Children\’s development has a step-by-step process. Teacher Chen helps children develop habits and gradually lets go in third and fourth grade. Letting go here does not mean letting go completely, but letting go little by little is a dynamic process based on observation and the child\’s ability. This balance between \”supervision and letting go\” is also found in the good relationship and smooth communication between parents and children. Third, start from the child’s perspective. Rather than talking about general principles and making three chapters of rules, it is better to truly understand the child and think about how to make it easier for her to accept it and how to help her. In the fun experience, children become more cooperative, and their self-control is formed invisibly. It also allows children to know what to do when and when, and to control themselves more actively. Parents give their children a certain degree of autonomy based on their children\’s characteristics and abilities, and provide a fault-tolerant supportive environment. With this trust, children are willing to self-manage and have the courage to try. If you don’t do well, you will sum up your experience and create a growth mindset. If you do well, you will feel good, increase your self-confidence, enhance your sense of self-worth, and be willing to explore more. The more parents let go, the more their children can do, and this creates a virtuous cycle. In fact, no matter what parents do, it is inseparable from the child\’s own initiative. She needs to want to change and learn to control. Everything we do is to enable children to control themselves in the future. We cannot blindly force children to do something, as we ignore their subjective initiative. We must not forget that a good parent-child relationship and trust are the foundation of everything. In fact, not only children, but adults too. Consider the other person’s perspective and provide your own opinions, but do not force the other person to make a decision beyond your boundaries. Today, my teammates and I discussed our confusion about work with Xiao Qian and Cheng Zi. After the end, my teammates wrote a long paragraph of reflections. I was quite surprised, so I told him that I could send it to you two for a look. He didn’t agree at first, probably because he didn’t agree. Good riddance. Later, I changed my perspective and told him: \”You have taken a huge step today. It is not easy for you to be able to chat with my classmates. I want to tell you, first of all, none of my classmates will follow suit.\”They will only provide help and encouragement when they see your insights; secondly, they will unanimously agree with you when they see your insights, and they will put forward opinions again if they are inconsistent, which is also new feedback; finally, when they see how much they have gained, they will also be very happy to help you. When it comes to us, we may be more willing to contribute ourselves to help others. This is my opinion based on this matter. Whether you say it or not, I support it.\” After listening to it, he said that the latter part sounded much more comfortable than the aggressive previous one. You did it and led the horse to the water. It has nothing to do with you whether you drink water or not, haha. I also smiled and said, this is what the teacher said, describing the consequences of behavior, haha, goodbye. I know that the final result is really beyond my control, and I really give up on making changes. He was obsessed with his idea. However, after a while, I saw him posting it in the group. I knew that he must have made great efforts and taken a step forward. Today is another fruitful day. Outside the window, there were dark clouds and a violent storm, but I listened to it like a symphony sonata.