How to increase children\’s self-confidence

A child suffering from depression went for a follow-up consultation. The doctor saw her reading a book and smiled and said to her mother on the side: \”This child is really hardworking.\” Unexpectedly, the mother replied without thinking: \”Work hard, fake hard work.\” .\” The doctor tried his best to see me countless times, but he was no match for this mother\’s \”bowl of cold water.\” There is a saying: \”Every child is dancing on the tip of their parents\’ tongues.\” Every word from parents can trigger children\’s abilities and self-confidence, but also trigger their inferiority and cowardice. “You did better than yesterday,” one netizen said about her confusion in parenting. She said, I never deny my son, and I try my best to praise and encourage him every day, but he always behaves very indifferently. Just like a few days ago, I complimented him on how awesome and handsome he was at roller skating, but he just looked at me and said, \”Mom, don\’t be so exaggerated.\” Why do my encouragement and affirmations have no effect on my children? What should I do? Indeed, \”rewards\” are natural motivators. Bearing in mind the history and culture, Confidence in China Documentary CCTV Network Full Episodes Ultra HD 1080P Parents replace \”material rewards\” with \”spiritual rewards\”, and promote their children\’s progress and achieve self-affirmation through appropriate praise and affirmation. However, the purpose of praise is to motivate children to behave well. Empty superficial and aimless praise with eyes closed are \”invalid praise\”. Obviously, the above mother made this mistake when she praised her son. Such words have left her child indifferent and even a little embarrassed. In fact, superficial praise has a worse negative impact, which makes children pursue perfection too much and make them unable to withstand failure. From the perspective of brain neurology, this situation frequently occurs in children aged 0 to 6 years old, which will seriously affect the construction of their brain neural networks. For parents, \”effective praise\” should be specific to the details, such as \”You did better today than yesterday\”, \”You skated more steadily through the curve this time than last time\”, \”You did better today\” The colors of the paintings are so beautiful.”… You must know that children’s self-confidence is gradually built through experience and achievements, and it is by no means blindly stacked through empty praise and praise. \”I can understand how you feel.\” Adults sometimes become emotionally unstable, let alone children? When children have emotional problems, are you also accustomed to solving the problems simply and crudely by \”strongly suppressing\” or \”not taking it seriously\”? Sometimes, scolding and violence will only aggravate the problem. Empathy with the child often makes it easier to find the source of the child\’s emotions. You will find that it turns out that children are not unreasonable, and most of the emotions and temper tantrums are well-targeted. When children encounter difficulties, setbacks or failures, don\’t say: \”Look, I knew you couldn\’t do it!\” \”You have the nerve to lose your temper when you don\’t do well!\” Try saying to them: \”Mom, I understand you.\” Feeling, it\’s nothing, I believe you can do it next time.\” \”Dad is sad to know that you failed this time, let\’s work together to succeed next time, okay?\” When you step off the \”parents\’ altar\”, you will Put yourself in the same position as your child, and you will find that many of the problems that occur in your child can be easily solved. Empathy is the best comfort and encouragement for your child. \”you think\”How to do it?\” Give children the opportunity to make choices instead of deciding everything for them. In the traditional inherent concepts of parents, paving the way for their children and making decisions are the parents\’ \”love for their children\” and \”love for their children\”. \”Parents love their children for their own purposes.\” However, under such heavy love, parents often ignore their children\’s self-esteem, allowing them to gradually lose their thinking and self-confidence in the process of passively \”obeying\”. Children\’s Self-awareness begins to form when they are two years old, and they will gradually become particularly concerned about what others think of themselves. When they continue to feel the respect and love from people around them, they will increasingly believe in their own abilities, and their self-confidence will be in this way Gradually strengthen in a positive environment. On the contrary, when children are constantly being \”determined\” and \”arranged\”, they will gradually lose their independent opinions, become more dependent on others, and lose the enthusiasm to make decisions for themselves. \”What do you want to do? \”Asking children more about their thoughts and encouraging them to make their own choices can help children establish independence, strengthen their opinions, and improve their self-confidence in simple daily life. \”It\’s okay, baby.\” When children make mistakes, they are often anxious, frustrated, or hesitant. What they need at this time is by no means your fueling the fire or ridicule and denial. Give your children trust when they have self-doubt, and help them when they fail and setbacks. Summarize the experience of failure with them and encourage them to continue working hard, so that they can stop when their children falter. Give him the courage to try next time. Learn to say \”It\’s okay\” to your child – \”It\’s okay, mom knows you tried your best. \”It doesn\’t matter. Dad will always be your number one fan. Let\’s see what the problem is together.\” \”Not all mistakes must be solved with criticism. Blind criticism does not bring changes to children, but resistance and damage to self-esteem. Your understanding and concern are the magic weapon for children to win. \”You have made progress again.\” \”Other people\’s children\” is the childhood nightmare of many Chinese children. When I was a child, whenever I heard my parents start sentences with \”Look at the children of XX family…\”, my heart was always full of irritability, frustration and resistance. Putting your own children with Comparing other people\’s children is the most ignorant way of education. Children\’s physical and mental development is uneven, and each child\’s psychological and physical characteristics are different. Not to mention their growth experience, family environment, knowledge base, and personality There are also differences in characteristics and so on. Randomly comparing two children is meaningless in itself, and it will also cause children to have negative emotions such as frustration, disgust, and unbalanced mentality. The gain outweighs the loss. In a study for some successful people in the field of education, A Gallup survey found that parents of outstanding children will guide their children\’s growth and development according to their children\’s needs. If you must motivate your children through comparison, then let your children learn to compare with their \”past selves\”! Constantly Go beyond yesterday\’s self and focus on the child\’s own progress instead of just looking at the results. \”Other people\’s children\” should not be the ultimate goal of education. \”You have made progress again\” is the best encouragement and affirmation for children. \”Children \”Mom and Dad will always love you.\” For introverted Chinese parents, love is a matter of course, and love needs no words. But for children, parents\’ love is sometimes too obscure, and they are always unsure.When deciding, especially for very young children. Children\’s feelings are simple and superficial. They will be worried and scared because of the words \”If you don\’t obey, I won\’t want you anymore\”; they will be upset and sad because of the words \”You really let me down!\”; they will also be worried and sad because of the words \”What\’s the use of having you?\” \”But hesitant and helpless… Sometimes, straightforward love is more important than deep protection. No matter when or where, parents\’ love is always a child\’s greatest confidence and most precious wealth. \”Child, mom and dad will always love you.\” No matter when, don\’t be stingy in saying love. You never know how much your child needs the expression of love and positive encouragement from mom and dad. Dr. Montessori said: CCTV Recommendation: Over 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries are recommended. Children watch the pattern and self-discipline addiction. Every behavior of adults will have an impact on children. It will not only affect the children\’s present, but also affect the children\’s future. future. Observe your children\’s growth carefully every day and talk to them in a positive way. Every change you make will become the driving force for your children, pushing the gears of their lives to turn in a better direction. From today on, think twice before preaching to your children. Use more encouragement and less ridicule, more praise and less negation. Make good use of the power of language to give children the wings of confidence for their growth. The future is bright and the sky is bright, please let your children fly freely in love.