Zhang Peng (pseudonym), who was born in the 1980s, grew up in a star-studded environment, but since his wife Chen Jie (pseudonym) became pregnant, the focus of the family has shifted directly from him to his wife. Every time family members ask how is Chen Jie\’s health? Is the child developing well? But no one cares about him.
Case 1: After my wife got pregnant, I lost my status at home.
Description of the event: Zhang Peng (pseudonym) was born in the 1980s and grew up in a star-studded environment. However, since his wife Chen Jie (pseudonym) became pregnant, the focus of the family has shifted directly from him to him. It\’s on my wife. Every time family members ask how is Chen Jie\’s health? Is the child developing well? But no one cares about him. Once, my mother cooked a pot of old hen soup, and Chen Jie finished eating the leftovers and let him drink it. My mother scolded me because the chicken and soup were for Chen Jie\’s body; once, because sexual intercourse was allowed in the second trimester, the result was that the next day There was slight bleeding in Chen Jie\’s lower body. His mother couldn\’t explain it when she saw him, so she scolded him in front of the whole family: You are already a father, why don\’t you understand anything about human affairs? Can\’t you help it now? But the fact is that Chen Jie asked for it on his own initiative, and his mother just passed the responsibility to him alone. The most hateful thing was that Chen Jie remained silent and laughed secretly.
Psychological analysis: In this case, because his wife Chen Jie is pregnant, Zhang Peng\’s situation is completely different. He felt that he was not only ignored by his family, but also often criticized and even humiliated for no reason. The most important thing is that his wife Chen Jie not only failed to understand and explain his situation, but also acted complacent. For a man born in the 1980s who has been accustomed to being valued by others since he was a child, this psychological gap and blow may be fatal. If his family and loved ones cannot provide timely guidance, he will easily develop a rebellious mentality, which will then evolve into cheating behavior of going out to seek warmth or seeking revenge.
Countermeasures: Whether as a wife or daughter-in-law, Chen Jie can make a difference in the entire incident. Although pregnancy and childbirth seem to be a woman\’s business, it is actually closely related to men. Men and women also face tests in various aspects. As a wife, while feeling pressure, she cannot blindly magnify herself and ignore the existence of men, nor can she be blindly complacent like Chen Jie. The wife should explain and cover up her family\’s misunderstandings and accusations against her husband, so that the relationship between husband and wife will not cool down during the troubled period of pregnancy, but will be more conducive to the sublimation of feelings and emotions. Improve self-confidence. Happiness is in a man\’s heart.
Don’t let your accustomed temper drive your husband away
Case 2: Becoming unreasonable after pregnancy
Description of the event: Xiaofan (pseudonym) had a severe pregnancy reaction. He vomited whatever he ate, felt nauseous all day long, and had a bad temper. So, when her husband Afeng (pseudonym) came home, she couldn\’t help crying to him, saying that he was the one who hurt him, otherwise she wouldn\’t have suffered like this. Once, Ah Feng couldn\’t bear it anymore and contradicted her a few times. Xiao Fan called everywhere to complain and threatened to abort the child. at last, Afeng had to kneel down and admit his mistake before settling the matter.
Psychological analysis: Although Xiaofan’s reaction and performance in this case were a bit extreme, it is very common for women to experience irritability and some physiological changes during pregnancy. If these reactions are not properly intervened and channeled, women will naturally feel a little tempered during pregnancy, and men will feel aggrieved and confused. In this way, it is easy for the marriage to fall into an emotional crisis.
Countermeasures: Although women’s emotional reactions during pregnancy are universal and objective, they are not necessarily understood and accepted by all men. The key to this is communication and communication. It is recommended that as a woman, on the one hand, you should try to control your emotions, find some positive hobbies, and spend this critical menstrual period with a peaceful mood; on the other hand, you should also take effective and appropriate methods to let men understand and accept you. Reaction. This method is to use the words of family members and elders to inform and educate, and can also be supplemented by some related books. Only by doing these two things well can a man better accept and cooperate with your physiological reactions, and even express his love and care for you in a better attitude and way.
Don’t completely shut down intimacy during pregnancy
Case 3: I am a normal person, and abstaining from sex for one year is very painful.
Description of the event: Zhendong (pseudonym) has never touched his wife Haizhen (pseudonym) since she became pregnant. Let them sleep in separate beds from early on in pregnancy. But as a normal man, especially looking at his wife\’s increasingly pink skin and plump figure, Zhendong felt that these seven months had been really torturous. After thinking about it, there are still three or four months to go. After waiting for a long time, Zhendong felt even more panic and a little uneasy.
Psychological analysis: Some people say that men are animals that think with their lower bodies. Men far outnumber women in the gender ratio in marriage. A year of abstinence is a great test for any normal person. However, due to the special circumstances of women during pregnancy, men often cannot have a good sex life during this period. So this becomes a crisis period when men are easily distracted, women are sensitive and suspicious, and men suffer from abstinence. If not handled properly, the man is very likely to eat game outside, which will eventually lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
Countermeasures: Sex life during pregnancy is not as thorough as Haizhen and her family understand. Anyone with a little knowledge in this area knows that you need to pay more attention during the early and late stages of pregnancy to control the intensity and scale of sexual life. If it is due to pregnancy, men must completely abstain from sex. This is a practice that goes against science and human nature. In addition, although normal sex life will bring certain harm to safe pregnancy, this does not mean that some tenderness between husband and wife cannot be obtained through some compromise methods, such as verbal care for each other, physical contact and Caress. ETC. If we can look at such problems in a different way of thinking, we can actually make the relationship between husband and wife transcend the happiness of normal sex life.
Of course, in addition to the situations reflected in the above three cases, I suggest that all female compatriots may ask themselves this while complaining about their husbands\’ infidelity: After pregnancy, do I only have children in my heart? Was our marriage emotionally stable before pregnancy? Wait, maybe these questions can help you detect some emotional crises caused by pregnancy in advance or in time. Finally, it should also be noted that I do not intend to specifically
Putting the responsibility for men’s cheating on women, but suggesting that everyone might look at the problem more comprehensively and rationally.