How to let children learn from passive to active learning

If a child doesn\’t like to learn, the best way is not to push or yell, but to awaken the child\’s inner drive and let the child take the initiative to learn. Faced with their children, parents always have endless frustrations and complaints. They have told them many times, but their children are disobedient. Even after urging them many times, they still put off doing their homework and think about playing games on their mobile phones every day. So parents are looking for various ways to make their children fall in love with learning. Little do we know that children need change, but it is parents who need change the most. Because, I don’t know since when, learning has become the responsibility of parents, and children learn for their parents. The children don\’t realize it, the parents don\’t realize it, and the problem continues to get worse. Therefore, parents must make it clear as early as possible that learning is their children’s business, not their parents’, and return the responsibility for learning to their children as early as possible. If they can\’t tell the difference, children will only become dependent on their parents and become less and less interested in learning. The author Zhao Xin once mentioned in the book \”Self-Driven Children\”: Parents expect their children to be responsible for their own learning in senior grades, but they have never taught their children how to be responsible for themselves. So while holding on to the child\’s study, he complained that the child was unwilling to take the initiative to learn. Think about it, how many parents in life do everything for their children in the name of loving their children, and even deprive their children of their right to autonomy. Just imagine, a child who cannot even make simple decisions about dressing and eating in life will have automatic and spontaneous internal drive? No, some people are just controlled and oppressed by authority. Just like some time ago, I asked Dabao to do his homework, but Dabao reacted very badly and just didn\’t want to go. For this, he was very angry. I\’m also very angry about this. I\’m usually fine, but why is this happening all of a sudden? When I watched \”The Self-Driven Child\”, I realized that it was my own problem. What is the Feynman Learning Method? Because she was not at home two days ago because she had something to do, she was not asked to relax when she was at home, so she was asked to do her homework. After listening to it, she became immediately unhappy. I asked her later, but it didn\’t work. At this time, I thought of what the book said, yelling is useless, give the child a chance to make a choice, and communicate first. I said, when do you want to write, she said later, I said 5 minutes, after 5 minutes, whatever you want to write first, then what you want to write. Just like that, let her make a choice, respect her, play for 5 minutes, remind her, and then go to do her homework without making any fuss in the middle. Loving a child does not mean doing everything for the child, nor does it mean using authority to oppress the child. It means letting the child make decisions for himself starting from small things. What are the five things parents should do if their children don’t like to learn and take the initiative to learn? 1. Have reasonable expectations for children and let them work hard in the study area. When assigning homework to children, the difficulty level should not be too high. If it is too high, children will have difficulty learning, and will easily fall into learned helplessness and become frustrated with learning. As a result, It’s because I lost my confidence before I even started. If it is too easy, the child will lose the challenge and become uninterested. Therefore, the difficulty level should be just right. Children will not give up and feel frustrated because it is too difficult, nor will they be reluctant to write because it is too easy. 2. Be a scaffolding for your child, instead of putting negative labels on your child. When your child doesn’t know how to do something, look at it correctly, instead of labeling your child, you are too stupid. There is a phenomenon in psychology called \”self-consciousness\”\”Fulfill prophecy\” means that people will unconsciously see themselves according to the prophecy. The power of language is powerful. It will rewire people\’s brains. When label language appears repeatedly, they will unconsciously regard themselves as facts. . Therefore, it is necessary to speak more positive language and encourage children more so that their brains can continuously receive positive feedback and form a growth mindset. 3. Learning to let go at the right time and love your children is what every parent is doing. Things, they always want to do something for their children, but many times they don’t love them enough. Instead, in the name of love, they control, restrain, suppress, belittle and ridicule their children. When the children do not become what their parents want, Parents will feel helpless and frustrated, and will become increasingly disappointed with their children. Children will also see disappointment in their parents\’ eyes, and feel bad about themselves. Over time, children will accumulate a lot of negative emotions in their hearts and lose their sense of control. Therefore, it is even more impossible to form self-driving force. The book \”Self-Driven Growth\” mentions: When children grow up, if they do not have a healthy sense of control, they will feel powerless and overwhelmed. Children\’s personalities can easily become passive and obedient. Once you lose your ability to make meaningful choices, your personality may become anxious, irritable, lose your temper, or even give up on yourself. Therefore, parents must learn to let go and provide help so that their children have a sense of control and the ability to choose. 4. Be a good translator and build a \”Pymallion\” bridge. Parents should translate feedback from teachers and friends into positive language and pass it on to their children, helping children develop positive feelings about teachers and learning. Only when children feel good can they learn well. 5. De-emotional discipline. If there is a quarrel between you and your child, you need to find out what is limiting your behavior behind the conflict and see what controls you. Be aware of your emotions, and then let them flow, consciously Be aware of and record emotional trigger points and achieve emotional-free discipline. Written at the end: In the process of raising children, parents should convey positive feelings to their children and let them feel love and companionship. Only when children feel love and respect, Only then will the child\’s mind be stable and able to learn independently.