How to make children mentally strong

A few days ago, I saw a piece of data from the Peking University Child Development Center: About 100,000 teenagers die by suicide in China every year, and on average, 2 people commit suicide every minute. My heart skipped a beat: What happened to our child? Why don’t you want to live when something happens? Some people blame study pressure, some blame electronic devices, and some blame children\’s poor tolerance. As everyone knows, every word and deed of a child is the shadow of their parents. Whatever you do, the child will be like that. As children\’s literature writer Lan Xiang said: The influence of parents on their children begins in childhood and lasts throughout their lives. Sometimes a parent\’s unintentional and small actions can have an indelible negative impact on their children. As a parent, your greatest wish is to raise a healthy, cheerful, and mentally strong child. However, many times, as parents, we are always unable to do what we want. If you have similar troubles, you might as well try saying these 3 sentences less to your children, do these 4 things more, and keep these 5 words in mind so that your children can have a strong heart through understanding, trust, and tolerance. Say less 3 words. Psychiatrist Professor Susan Forward once said: Children will always believe what their parents say about themselves and turn it into their own ideas. Every word your parents say has magic power. The closer you are to someone, the more you should pay attention to the propriety of your language. If you want to raise mentally strong children, parents need to say these three sentences less often. First, if not, when educating children, do you also like to be \”motivated\” like this: You can\’t even do such a simple question? From now on I can only pick up trash! If you can succeed, dogs can succeed! On the road to education, parents have a misunderstanding: denying that the more children they have, the more their children will be able to bear. And what about the facts? The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Children will not be inspired by their parents\’ negative language, but will only feel complaints and ridicule. Just like Ma Fei in \”Galaxy Tutorial\”, his classmates gave him the nickname: Missing Root String. Even his mother said: \”This child is already stupid and can\’t be saved!\” Ma Fei became less and less confident due to his mother\’s denial, and gradually turned into a \”stupid child\” with a sensitive and low self-esteem. Parents\’ words are like seeds. Children who are always rejected are timid and have no independent opinions. They have a big hole in their hearts, which contains their tattered souls. Second, when it comes to accusations, there is a question on Zhihu: What shadows have your parents left on you? Gao Zan replied: My parents’ endless accusations make me live in self-doubt forever. yes! Bad words hurt people in June, but parents like to use guns and sticks when educating their children: wrong is wrong, and you are so stupid to quibble! Shut up! Why are you disobedient? Once upon a time, these hurtful words became the mantra of parents, but they forgot that this is also the knife that hurts their children the most. Living under the criticism of parents, children will doubt their parents\’ love, fall into helplessness, and become insecure. Parents’ accusations against their children are the deepest wounds in their hearts. This harm will accompany the child throughout his life and become a shackles that the child cannot get rid of throughout his life. Third, negative words. Two days ago, my daughter suddenly asked me: \”Mom, what did I do wrong?\” I was surprised and asked her why. she says: \”Although my mother doesn\’t beat or scold me, she always sighs recently, saying that she is very tired, the family has no money, and life is hard… I feel that I am so bad, I must have done something wrong…\” I interrupted the child , hugged her deeply in his arms, and said to her: \”Baby, I\’m sorry because mom\’s personal emotions have affected you. None of this has anything to do with you. You are great!\” The child was obviously relaxed after listening to my words. I took a deep breath, and I suddenly realized: in daily life, our seemingly random and ordinary output of negative energy actually does great harm to children. A child who hears too many negative words must have a gloomy world in their eyes. They are pessimistic, negative and cautious. They dare not let themselves be the center of attention, let alone speak up for themselves. It is said that \”parents hide their children\’s future in their mouths\”. Those words that attack, deny, and accuse children are like sharp knives that stab hard into the child\’s chest, shattering the parents\’ love for their children, and tearing into pieces the child\’s supposedly strong heart. Do 4 More Things The growth of a seedling is the result of careful watering by the gardener. A child\’s growth is also the fruit of parents\’ careful education. After becoming parents, we always take our children under our wings and worry about whether they can withstand the wind and rain. How to do it? Maybe we can\’t be perfect, but if we can do more of these 4 things in every moment of our lives. Let your children feel accepted, trusted, and confident in being loved, so that they will have the courage to face no matter how difficult they are in the future. First, respect. There once was a story: At the New Year’s Eve dinner, the family was eating with gusto, but the child was looking sad. The father asked: \”Why are you frowning for such a delicious meal?\” The child looked at everyone and said softly: \”It\’s too salty.\” After hearing this, the father became furious: \”You damn kid, you just don\’t want to Eat! Get out and stand.\” That day, he stood all afternoon under the watchful eyes of all his relatives. Since then, the child has never said that the food is salty. Many years later, he said: I no longer dare to contradict anyone. When I grow up, I am used to accepting others\’ advice. There is a concept in psychology: the so-called facts are not \”simple\”. They are divided into psychological facts and objective facts. The parent\’s opinion above that the food tastes appropriate is an adult\’s objective feeling. The child thinks that the food is salty, which is the child\’s subjective experience and psychological fact. He may not like it when he eats it. At this time, if parents do not think from the perspective of their children, the children will inevitably doubt themselves again and again and lose the courage to challenge authority. Youth education expert Sun Yunxiao said: The prerequisite for educating children is to understand the children, and the prerequisite for understanding the children is to respect the children. This kind of respect is reflected in all aspects of life, but its essence is respect – respect for what the child thinks is the truth. Know how to see the world from children\’s eyes, reduce children\’s self-doubt, make children more confident, and have the courage to express themselves. Second, awareness psychologist Daniel Goleman once said: Family life is the first school where we learn emotions. In the eyes of many parents, children\’s bad moods are a scourge. Little do they know, if parents can detect their children\’s emotions immediately and respond seriously, it will be a great thing.What an amazing thing! For example, when your child yells and doesn\’t want to brush his teeth, please stop blaming him. This is the beginning of emotion: at this time, it is actually the child\’s \”help\” signal. Instead of forcing the child to shut up, it is better to accept the child\’s resistance and understand the psychology behind it. For example, when a child starts to cry, please give up stopping it and help the child express it reasonably: At this time, tell the child more: You can be angry, and there is no need to suppress it. In this process, accept the child\’s emotions and guide the child to release them appropriately, so that the child can understand emotional management. Emotions themselves are not good or bad, but wise parents will find that when their children are in a \”bad\” mood, that is when they really see their children. If your child has strange emotions next time, please respond and help him as much as possible. After all, such children have a healthy and flowing heart. Third, Learn to Listen China Children\’s Press and Publication Corporation once organized a survey with the theme of \”listening to children\’s voices\”: among the 20,870 primary and secondary school students who participated, only 26.73% of the children would tell their parents what was on their mind. \”When did that rapidly growing child close its heart to us?\” This must be a question that countless Chinese parents are wondering. As everyone knows, these are the results of parents criticizing, blaming, and beating them all day long. I read a short story on Zhihu. A mother had a cold and sore throat and was speechless. That day, my daughter complained to her mother after school: \”Mom, the teacher is so bad!\” Then she started to complain about the head teacher. At that time, the mother desperately wanted to stop her daughter: \”You have to respect the teacher. The teacher must be doing this for your own good.\” Because her voice was speechless, Naihe had to smile and watch her daughter finish. When the daughter finally finished speaking, she suddenly hugged her mother and said, \”Thank you, Mom! I have listened to so many words today. I am much better now, and I realize that the teacher is not entirely to blame.\” Good parents know how to listen. Especially when the child is eager to talk, squat down first, close your mouth and listen to the child. You may gain unexpected results. Fourth, only through correct communication and warm communication can we get into the hearts of children. Chen Meiling, a doctor of education, knows this well. Once when she was out, she walked home with her two sons. The second son was tired from playing and was sleeping in her arms. At this time, her eldest son kept pestering her to hug her. Seeing that it would be late to go home, many parents would definitely say: \”Mom, why are you so ignorant when you are holding your brother?\” But Chen Meiling did not do this, but said : \”The baby is tired, and so is the mother. What should we do? Can we take a rest here?\” So she took the child and squatted down to rest. She said: Instead of scolding the child and letting him cry on the roadside, it is better to understand his feelings, take a break and let him know that his mother understands me. yes! The child is not ignorant, he is just expressing his demands. At this time, if parents can patiently communicate with their children, they can let their children feel that their needs are heard, their emotions are accepted, and they are respected and loved. Then under the influence of his ears and eyes, he can also learn to communicate with warmth, and become rich, powerful, confident and strong in his heart. 5 Words to Keep in Mind Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said: There is no magic formula for children’s growth, only stable and healthy soil provided by responsible parents. best for kidsLuck means having parents who are emotionally stable, peaceful, and positive. The following five words are for all parents: The first word: stability. As the saying goes: The heart is the master of all things, and tolerance is great. Parents with a stable mentality will raise children who are confident, sunny, calm and calm; parents with a turbulent mentality will raise children who are either timid, weak, have low self-esteem and sensitive, or are stubborn, suspicious, and insecure. As your children grow up, parents, please keep your mind stable, be generous parents, and teach your children to be open-minded. The second word: quiet. Emotional peace is a compulsory course for every parent. Many parents, when they see their children\’s shortcomings, can\’t help but roar or even criticize their children loudly. But I don’t know that this is the most wrong way. The more the child cries, the calmer the parents must be; the more the child makes mistakes, the more calm the parents must remain. In this process, use good emotions to soothe the child\’s uneasiness and teach the child how to deal with difficulties. The third word: compassion. Behind every confident and happy child, there must be a pair of loving parents. Kindness here is not the same as doting. It is not about indulging children for no reason, but giving them full love and companionship in life. There is a saying: It is better for children to suffer material hardships with their parents than to suffer the hardships of lack of companionship in childhood. The more love, the more confident the child will be; the more companionship, the more brave the child will be. Children who grow up nourished in love and companionship will naturally grow towards the sun. The fourth word: weak. Excellent parents always understand the benefits of \”showing weakness\”. When parents show weakness, they do not mean to be cowardly or to compromise, but to overcome toughness with softness. Parents showing weakness is a strategy, a kind of sincerity that opens their hearts, and it is also a booster to make children stronger. By showing weakness, children become more assertive. The classic collection of inspirational stories and great principles [Best-Selling Collector\’s Edition] pdf Only when parents are weak can their children become stronger. The fifth word: capacity. The ancients said: \”No one is a saint, and no one can make mistakes.\” The same is true for children. Every child makes mistakes, but not every parent knows how to tolerate them. In the face of their children\’s mistakes, parents always subconsciously blame and yell, which will only increase the psychological burden on their children. Smart parents know how to tolerate and accept their children\’s mistakes and lead their children forward. Click \”Like\”, may our children thrive in love and care, and gradually develop a strong heart.