How to make your child a rich person at heart

Some time ago, I came across a very distressing thing while scrolling through Weibo: How to make children feel rich inside? A 15-year-old junior high school boy was in class when he suddenly stood up and walked towards the window with the intention of jumping off the building. Fortunately, the classmate next to him was alert and hugged him in time, so that an irreversible tragedy did not occur. What is sad is that after investigation, the boy was not \”harmed\”. The school is tolerant, the teachers are kind, and the parents also pay attention to family education. When it comes to the reason, the child said with great sadness: \”I feel that life is meaningless.\” The child What happened? Suffering from depression? Xu Kaiwen, a professor of psychology at Peking University, calls this psychological state: \”Hollow Heart Disease.\” Patients with Hollow Heart Disease may feel that they are not important in daily life and study, and cannot find their own value and meaning, and they do not have that spirit in their hearts. Pillar. In the process of raising children, we must be wary of the emergence of \”hollow heart disease\” and not be too utilitarian and ignore the inner richness and abundance of children. Only children with a rich heart can see their own advantages, accept their shortcomings, and feel the happiness of the moment without showing off or comparing. Only children with a rich heart can be unyielding in the face of setbacks and difficulties and face life independently and strongly. The ups and downs of life; only children with a rich heart can have the courage to say no, not be troubled by \”hollow disease\”, work hard towards their goals and dreams, have the ability to love themselves and their loved ones, and have a happy life. The following 10 sentences will tell you how to build a world of love and tolerance for your children and lead them to become better versions of themselves. 01 \”Your existence, what you say, and what you do are all valuable.\” Parents giving their children enough attention and unconditional love is the primary condition for their children\’s mental health. We want the child to feel that even if he is not perfect, even if he often makes mistakes, his parents will always love him and trust him. Children who grow up in an environment of unconditional love and acceptance from their parents have a strong sense of self-worth! They will think: My existence is valuable, what I say and what I do is valuable! Of course, we love our children, but we do not want to satisfy them without principles. We need to let them know where the boundaries and bottom lines are. There is this dialogue in the picture book \”I Will Always Love You\”: Ali: \”If I make feathers fly all over the pillow, will you still love me?\” Mom: \”I will always love you, but you have to collect the feathers.\” .\” Ali: \”If I spill painting paint on my sister, will you still love me? Mom: \”I will always love you, but you have to be responsible for bathing your sister.\” 02 \”When a child is not cute, it is the time when he lacks love.\” Writer Rebus said: \”When a child loses his temper at you, he wants you to get into his heart and help him solve his problem.\” \”When faced with a child who is not so \”cute\”, no method or technique can compare to the word \”patience.\” Because the child with all the problems knows that behind this patience, hidden is actually the love of his parents for him. and understanding. 03 \”I love you and will always stand with you\” Every child will make mistakes. Making mistakes is not terrible. What is terrible is that the aggressive attitude of adults puts children in an isolated and helpless situation. And it is best to win a childThe best way is to tell your children with a kind, firm and respectful attitude: I love you and will always stand with you. We are also facing the problem of children. The following mother\’s approach is worth emulating: A mother once left a message saying that her 6-year-old son accidentally knocked down the neighbor\’s battery car while playing with children and broke the rearview mirror. The mother was very angry when she saw it, but the child was actually more scared. She refrained from blaming the child. Instead, she knelt down and told him, \”Don\’t be afraid. Mom is here. Mom will accompany you to tell your uncle.\” She accompanied the child to a neighbor\’s house to apologize and compensate. Instead of blaming her, she praised her child for being sensible. The mother said: \”When a child does something wrong, he needs help more than criticism. At that time, if I didn\’t even stand next to him to help him, he would be the most helpless.\” The child made a mistake and got into trouble. Disaster is not terrible, parents can face it with him and bear it. With the love and trust of parents, children have the strength to fight against the world. As a saying goes: \”Side with the child to defeat the problem, rather than defeat the child with the problem.\” If your child makes a mistake, you can criticize and punish him. But he must know that you love him and support him as always, and you are his most powerful support. 04 \”You make the decision.\” Psychologist Li Xue said: \”A body can only bear one soul. If the parents\’ control is airtight, the child is actually mentally dead.\” Parents always think of \”I am doing this for your own good.\” \”I kept saying it, but I forgot another sentence: You always give me the best, but you never ask me if I want it. \”I don\’t want you to think, I just want what I think\”, \”I don\’t want you to like, I just want what I think\”. Many parents believe that only by holding their children in their hands at all times can they ensure their authority and the children can develop in the established direction. But children are not puppets at the mercy of others. Parents who are too strong will not create strong children, nor can they give them a strong life. Children\’s growth cannot be separated from the hard work of their parents, but they also need to find themselves in freedom and respect, and bloom brightly in their own unique manner. 05 \”Baby, Mommy misses you so much\” No matter the time, every time you meet your child, it feels like you haven\’t seen him for a long time. This can make the child feel that his existence itself is worth being loved, and that you love him just as much without doing anything special. When you are cooking, cleaning; when you are reading and working, and your child comes to you, don’t get upset and lose your temper. Trust me, give him a good hug and let the baby be fully charged in your arms, so that he can concentrate Only by exploring can you do your own thing with peace of mind. 06 \”Although you cry, mom sees that you are trying to control your emotions.\” If you want your child to have a \”diamond heart\”, you need to praise carefully and \”see\” it often. Many times, what children need is just to be \”seen\”, without any praise or criticism! In daily life, we can encourage children\’s efforts, persistence, concentration, and progress instead of the empty \”You are awesome! You are awesome!\” Effort: Although the baby will still cry, mom has seen that you have been trying to control your emotions! Strategy: Wow, my baby, you have thought of so many ways to make yourself happy, you have thought of so many strong ideas.Keep going to kindergarten! Persistence: Going to kindergarten is not easy, but you have been persisting in kindergarten and insisting on arriving early every day. Concentration: My baby washed, ate, and dressed very quickly and very well this morning. That’s because you were very attentive when doing it! Progress: Mom sees you making progress every day. You cry less and smile more; you are getting better and better at eating by yourself now; you can go to the toilet by yourself, etc. 07 \”My child is a genius\” Psychology There is a phenomenon of self-fulfilling prophecy, which means that the expectations of others will affect behavioral patterns, so that reality will eventually move closer to expectations. When Edison was a child, his thinking was different from that of ordinary people. The teacher thought that he had a mental defect, but his mother insisted: \”My child is a genius, and he will become a great person in the future.\” What kind of \”hints\” do parents give their children will shape their children? children. Negative psychological hints are like drawing the earth into a prison, making the child increasingly decadent and discouraged, and trapping the future in a cage; positive psychological hints are like turning stones into gold, giving the child courage and strength, and guiding him to sail away. 08 \”Other people\’s evaluations are subjective and not all true.\” Teach children objective self-evaluation, improve their cognitive abilities, and teach them in life which evaluations are true and accepted; which evaluations are not consistent. Factual, ignore; ignore random irresponsible malicious comments, ignore them! You can take your children to play with the funny mirror, observe the various deformed and distorted images of yourself in the mirror, and take the opportunity to explain to your children that other people\’s evaluations of him are sometimes like the funny mirror, which is not the real self. In this way, the children will not collapse and lose heart because of other people\’s \”a few words\”! 09 \”You deserve all the good things.\” If parents often talk about \”poor\”, \”no money\” and \”why do you want such good things\”, these words will take root and multiply in the child\’s body like cells. Doing this for a long time will deprive children of the courage and strength to pursue happiness. Tsinghua professor Peng Kaiping said: \”If you always tell your children that the family is \’deficient\’ and that we are not as good as others, it is actually instilling a sense of poverty.\” Truly well-organized parents do not complain or complain; they meet their children\’s reasonable needs and Take your children to experience the beauty of life; influence your children with an optimistic attitude towards life, show your children the meaning of hard work, and tell your children \”you deserve good things.\” 10 \”Baby, you are a unique treasure\”! Every child is a unique treasure. We cannot use the same ruler to measure different lives and then divide them into three, six or nine grades. Education is awakening, not transformation. The mission of parents is to understand and accept the differences of each child, to pay attention to and care for each child\’s growth needs, and then allow him to bloom in his own unique way. There is no standard answer to what is the best education. Parenting is like driving a car. There is no road condition that allows us to cruise at a fixed speed and sit back and relax. We can only keep our eyes open, adjust the speed according to the road conditions, sometimes change lanes, sometimes brake, and occasionally stop when we encounter a red light. A rich heart is the most precious gift parents give to their children. My expectations for my two children have never been about learningBa, as long as you become a person who loves life and has inner pursuits!