How to motivate children? This is 1000 times better than yelling

20 cigarette butts for an ice cream? In Xi\’an Dahua 1935 Park, a group of primary school students braved the scorching sun and carefully picked up cigarette butts, with sweat on their faces without even bothering to wipe them. In a short while, they had collected more than a hundred cigarette butts. Although the weather is hot, the children are very motivated. This is not a labor class arranged by the school, but because of the agreement between the owner of the nearby coffee shop and the children: as long as they pick up 20 pieces, they can come over and exchange them for an ice cream. The owner of this coffee shop is called Jianchun. In the past few years since the shop opened, students from nearby primary schools often come here to drink water and do homework. They want to eat ice cream, but they don’t have enough pocket money. Jian Chunchun, who has always been keen on public welfare undertakings, suddenly came up with the idea of ​​mobilizing children to pick up cigarette butts and then exchange them for ice cream. Wouldn\’t it be the best of both worlds? The children were also happy to participate in this activity, so Jianchun set a rule: each person can only receive it once a day, and they are not allowed to dig through the trash can. The cigarette butts delivered will be collected and disposed of uniformly by the store staff, who will supervise the children to wash their hands before giving them the ice cream. In the past three years, the store has received nearly 50,000 cigarette butts. There are almost no discarded cigarette butts on the ground nearby, and the cleaning staff\’s work is much easier. I have to applaud this boss for his approach. It not only protects environmental sanitation, but also allows the children to learn to earn what they want through labor. What is even more valuable is that they begin to respect those ordinary but great cleaning aunties. One child said: \”By picking up cigarette butts, I realized how difficult the job of a cleaning lady is.\” Children who have had such an experience will no longer litter everywhere. This is a hundred times more effective than simple oral education. Taking advantage of children\’s gluttonous nature and then guiding them to learn to give and respect, this \”nature-accommodating\” education method is worth learning. Education that is in line with nature can better satisfy children\’s curiosity. Children are naturally very curious, especially children under four years old. They want to know more about everything around them, and often make the house restless. At this time, parents usually reprimand them, but it has no effect. After a while, the child attacks again… Panpan\’s mother has also faced such a dilemma. Panpan, who is almost two years old, has entered the imitation period. He snatches the remote control of the air conditioner and presses it wildly, making the house hot and cold; or he is obsessed with imitating adults to open and close the sliding glass door in the kitchen, repeating it dozens of times, and the oil smoke from the kitchen directly flows into the living room… If Panpan doesn\’t let Panpan He cried and made trouble with all his strength, begged for hugs and comfort, and then went to make trouble again. Later, Panpan\’s mother changed her approach and began to comply with her child\’s requests while providing correct guidance. She taught Panpan what the red button on the remote control did, and then invited Panpan to help turn on the air conditioner. After Panpan learned how to do it, she no longer pressed the red power button randomly like before. Instead, she pressed the red power button according to her mother\’s request and let go. After this method was used, Panpan changed from a troublemaker to her mother\’s effective assistant. She learned to get milk from the refrigerator, get her own clothes from the wardrobe, etc. In fact, when children grab remote controls and push glass doors, it\’s not because they really want to confront adults, they are just trying to understand what these items are.Because they don\’t know how to use it correctly, they become \”troublesome\” in the eyes of adults. When we treat a child like an adult and give him the right to freedom and participation, you will find that he does not abuse it, but will cherish it and learn to use it correctly. This kind of \”according to nature\” education method not only satisfies children\’s curiosity for knowledge, but also exercises their hands-on ability. Education that is in line with nature can help children discover their great potential. In the United States, there is a little boy named Flynn Makary. When he was 10 years old, he started cooking by himself because he disliked the food his mother cooked. Surprised, but still giving the children a chance to show themselves. Unexpectedly, as soon as he made this meal, he became addicted to it. Flynn\’s cooking skills became higher and higher, and he was recognized by many people. The parents became more and more obsessed with their child. Although they were worried that it would affect his studies, they still supported him. They bought him cooking books and built a \”private kitchen\”. Soon after, they even enrolled him in a cooking class. After that, Flynn worked hard on his knife skills and cooking skills, and gradually became famous. He told his parents: \”I love cooking from the bottom of my heart, and I want to drop out of school and study.\” Flynn\’s parents were a little reluctant at first. After all, being a chef is hard work, but in the face of Flynn\’s persistence, they relented. After that, Flynn seemed to be cheating. At the age of 13, he entered a top restaurant with a Michelin three-star chef. At the age of 14, he was invited to cook in front of the White House. At the age of 15, he appeared on the cover of the New York Times’ dining section and was featured in the American \” Vogue magazine gave him the title of \”Little Justin in the culinary world\”. In just a few years, Flynn became the most watched chef in the United States. When he was only 16 years old, he already had his own restaurant, which was full of diners every day. Flynn\’s achievement was not only due to his own talent, but also due to the encouragement and support of his parents. Buffett once said: \”The only thing parents should do for their children is to find their children\’s passion, encourage them to pursue it with all their strength, and give it full play.\” Timely compliance with children\’s interests and hobbies can often discover extraordinary things. potential, which is much stronger than simple suppression and opposition. Education that conforms to nature can help children get rid of bad habits. There is a story in \”Harvard Family Instructions\”: three bored young people often kicked the trash cans in the community for fun when they had nothing to do. The residents were unbearable and many They tried to dissuade her every time, but to no avail. The more others told her, the harder they kicked her. Later, an old man moved into the community and thought of a way to stop them from kicking the trash can. One day, when they came to kick again, the old man said to them: \”I like to hear the sound the trash can makes when it is kicked. If you do this every day, I will pay you one dollar every day.\” Several young people were very happy. , so they kicked harder. After a few days, the old man said to them, my economy has been tight recently and I can\’t give you so much. I can only give you 50 cents a day. The three young men were not satisfied and kicked less hard. A few days later, the old man said to them: \”Because I haven\’t received the pension check, I can only give you 10 cents a day. Please understand.\” At this time, a young man said loudly: \”10 cents? You Thought we were wasting 10 cents on thisour time? ! The other two people also said: \”Too few, we quit!\” \”So he walked away and stopped kicking the trash can. What this old man did was really clever. He didn\’t directly dissuade him like others. Instead, he used the method of taking advantage of the situation and cleverly paid the reward to turn the original fun into something fun. If it becomes \”hard labor\”, the other party will naturally give up. In psychology, there is a \”south wind effect\”: it is easier for a person to take off his clothes with warm wind than cold wind. The education that conforms to nature is this warm wind. Unknowingly, It makes people make changes. Everyone comes into this world with their own mission to become the person they want to be. Education cannot reverse such nature. It can only adapt to it and make corrections in the process. and guidance. If parents cannot realize this, they can only live in the great anxiety of \”Why can\’t you become what I want you to be?\” And children who are still powerless in this world can only do it in various ways. Hurt yourself just to try to break through the barriers. No one can stop the inner vitality of a child. Instead of confronting or suffocating it, it is wise to follow your nature and love him as he is, not as I am. As the famous educator Wang Weijia said in As written in the \”Manuscript of Homeopathic Education\”: \”Listen to the voices of children, teach according to their needs, and make learning a lifelong joy; listen to the voices of society, teach according to their needs, and let talents realize the hope of mankind; listen to the voices of nature, Follow the sequence and teach, and let life fulfill the eternal destiny of mankind. \”