How to prevent children from being bullied

\”Are you worried about your children being bullied or bullied at school?\” As more and more incidents of school violence occur, I believe that no parent can be completely at ease about their children\’s school life. Just two days ago, the news that #海南13-year-old girl was bullied and had her left eardrum perforated# was on the hot search again. [Children\’s Bedtime Stories] In the Collector\’s Edition of 300 Classic Philosophical Stories, the bullied girl\’s hair is messy and her body is scarred. The most distressing thing is that the little girl kneeling on the ground still says to the abuser over and over again. I\’m sorry. Because of fear of retaliation, after the beaten girl escaped home, she only dared to tell her parents that \”she just fell accidentally.\” Seeing this situation, I believe every parent will feel heartbroken for the girl\’s parents. At the same time, it also made me rethink how to really prevent children from being bullied in school. Although I tell everyone to communicate more with their children and understand their children\’s situation at school, do children really \”dare\” to ask teachers and parents for help after being bullied? I\’m afraid a small threat is enough to make a bullied child \”shut up.\” Therefore, I want to talk to you from a different angle this time: What are the characteristics of a child who is easily bullied; and how can we avoid raising a child who is easily bullied. Children who are always negated Research shows that victims of bullying tend to have lower self-esteem. This type of children do not have enough confidence in their own behavior, knowledge, personal appearance, etc., and they also lack a sense of security. And what kind of family environment is more likely to raise such a child? First of all, it must be a child who grew up in the negative voice of his parents. Jiang Wen is a well-known director and actor. Most of his comments are \”confident and talented\”. However, in the talk show \”Thirteen Invitations\”, he admitted that under the influence of his mother, he was not so confident. When Xu Zhiyuan asked Jiang Wen what made him feel like a failure in life, Jiang Wen replied: My relationship with my mother is never good, even though I always want to get along well. Essentials for Family Education: How to Encourage Children\’s Progress and Self-Confidence, all 70 episodes. In order to get his mother\’s approval, he bought a big house for her to live in. Unexpectedly, my mother did not appear happy. On the contrary, she still insisted on living in the old house. When Jiang Wen showed his mother the acceptance letter from China National Theater, her mother just glanced at it and threw it away. She turned around and reminded Jiang Wen not to forget to do the laundry. Mother\’s various behaviors were undoubtedly pouring cold water on Jiang Wen\’s heart. Even after he became famous, he would fall into deep thought when he mentioned the mother-son relationship, and his helplessness and loneliness could be felt across the screen. As parents, we should give our children the greatest affirmation and encouragement. If we continue to deny our children and make them feel a deep sense of frustration, how can we build their self-confidence? Your child\’s feelings matter at all times. Children without self-confidence will habitually cover up their strengths. Only in this way can they gain a sense of security. But \”persimmons always pick up weak ones.\” The humbler a child behaves, the easier it is for him to be despised by others. So, when your child happily wants to share his success with you, please remember to encourage himHim, definitely him. Parents\’ affirmation is the confidence that allows children to stand upright and exude confidence. There is an old saying in China for parents who only know how to tolerate: \”If you take a step back, the sky will be brighter, and you will be patient for a while.\” But this sentence does not apply to all situations. Blind tolerance may also result in intensified verbal abuse and fists. I don’t know if you have seen the movie \”You Are Young\”. In this film, the heroine Chen Nian\’s parents are divorced. In order to support Chen Nian\’s education, her mother often goes to work in other places to make money, leaving Chen Nian at home alone. With her introverted and well-behaved personality, she became the \”new target\” of the perpetrators at school. In addition to being \”teased and beaten,\” they were even \”forced to take nude photos.\” However, when Chen Nian, who had been bullied on campus for a long time, cried to his mother, she only received a light sentence from her mother: \”Son, if you just endure it and pass the college entrance examination, it will be fine. You will grow up and our lives will be the same.\” It\’s better.\” Without the support of teachers and parents, Chen Nian\’s belief collapsed. When the abuser committed violence again, she had no choice but to endure it again and again, eventually going to extremes. Writer Bi Shumin once said: Traditional education teaches us to be patient, tolerant, and to forget; however, long-term suppression will bring greater rebound, and the accumulated pain will come like a storm, and a thunderbolt can knock us into ashes. Although we need to teach our children to be kind, we also need to let them know that kindness has its limits and tolerance has its limits. If you have no bottom line and principles and swallow all the bad words and deeds, you are actually allowing others to test your bottom line step by step. As parents, we must not only be the strongest supporter for our children, but also set an example by telling them: When faced with unreasonable requests, we must refuse; when faced with the \”blame\” thrown by others, we must defend ourselves; when faced with the rudeness of others If you are lazy, you must resist. Parents who are too pushy and pushy and parents who are blindly tolerant are two extremes. As the old saying goes, \”If parents love their children, they will have far-reaching plans.\” However, this does not mean that we should take care of everything about our children, so that their children will develop in the way we expect. Especially now, many parents often lack effective communication with their children due to busy work and other reasons. When educating children, it is more customary to use \”command\” instead of \”guidance\”. For example: \”It won\’t work if I say no!\” \”Don\’t cry, shut up!\” \”Go to bed and turn off the TV!\”. If this happens for a long time, the child will develop a submissive, timid and cowardly character. A female executive once shared her child\’s experience of being bullied online: One day, she found that her child\’s eyes were injured. When she first asked, the child was still unwilling to tell. After several rounds of questioning, the child said that he was bullied at school. In addition, his classmates also asked him to \”help wash dishes and do homework.\” Hearing this, the mother was naturally very angry and asked the child why he didn\’t tell her earlier. Unexpectedly, the child replied: \”I was afraid that you would scold me.\” The mother also reflected on herself afterwards. Since she is a \”strong woman\” at work, Therefore, I also brought this style of behavior into my life. This phenomenon is not unique. Children of parents who are bold and resolute in their actions are often accustomed to being obedient and obedient. CanIs it really a good thing for children to be too \”obedient\”? it\’s not true. If children follow their parents\’ instructions from childhood to adulthood, they usually lack the basic ability to judge people and things. And having lost their ability to judge, they don\’t even know how to protect themselves at critical moments. When being bullied, the situation in the above example may also occur, and the child may choose to \”hide and tolerate\” because of \”fear of being scolded by parents\”. Chenma is also a mother and understands the desire of all parents to pave the way for their children. However, society is changing and the times are changing dramatically. What we think is “right” may no longer be suitable for the next generation. What we need to do is not to cut off all possibilities for our children\’s future, but to train our children to become healthy people with upright views and independent personalities. “Campus bullying” has always been a focus of concern for parents. Recommended must-read parenting books for parents: Jin Yunrong Love on the Left and Discipline on the Right pdf download \”How parents should deal with when their children are bullied\” is also something that each of us needs to learn. But today, Chen Ma wants to say: How to prevent children from becoming the \”violated person\” is also worth pondering. What we can do is to create a harmonious and loving family atmosphere for our children, so as to prevent this kind of thing from happening to our children to the greatest extent. Finally, I sincerely hope that all children can live in the sun and grow up safely