How to raise a child with a sunny and mentally healthy life?

\”A sunny and happy child is an independent child. He or she has the ability to face various difficulties in life and find his or her own place in society.\” This is a view commonly recognized by French children\’s education circles. So how to raise a child who is mentally bright and away from darkness? Many senior French parenting experts have put forward a series of highly practical suggestions to parents. First, train children’s ability to be alone. Psychologists say that security is not a sense of dependence. If a child needs a warm and stable emotional connection, he also needs to learn to be alone, such as letting himself stay in a safe room. For a child to feel safe, he does not necessarily need his parents to be present at all times. Even if he cannot see you, he will know in his heart that you are there. Experts say that adults need to \”respond\” to children\’s various needs rather than \”satisfy\” everything. Second, children must be satisfied in a certain way. It is necessary to set some artificial boundaries and not meet the child\’s requirements unconditionally. \”Another prerequisite for being able to be in a happy mood is that children can withstand the inevitable setbacks and disappointments in life.\” Dr. Thomas, a child psychiatrist, told us, \”Only when children understand the truth that it is not necessary to obtain something. It depends not on his desires, but on his abilities, that he can get inner fulfillment and happiness.\” The sooner a child understands this truth, the less pain he will suffer. Be sure not to always fulfill your child\’s wishes at the first opportunity. The right thing to do is to delay a little. For example, if your child is hungry, you can let him wait for a few minutes. Don\’t give in to all your children\’s demands. Saying no to your child\’s requests will help him gain mental peace. Accepting this kind of \”unsatisfactory reality\” training in the family will give children enough psychological endurance to face setbacks in future life. Third, treat your child calmly when he gets angry. When a child gets angry, the first way is to divert his attention and find a way to get him to go to his room to get angry. Without an audience, he will slowly become quiet. Appropriate punishment and follow through. In addition, when saying \”no\”, don\’t say no dryly, but explain to your child why it is not possible. Even if the child doesn\’t understand, he can understand your patience and respect for him; parents must be consistent in their opinions, one cannot say yes and the other no; prohibiting one thing can give him the freedom to do another. . Fourth, face up to his flaws. If the child is different from other children, for example, the child is too fat, has a problem with the shape of his ears, or has extreme personality and behavior, parents must not deny these facts, but actively discuss with him and find solutions. , or accept reality. In this regard, going to an expert is the best way, because children generally take the words of experts (such as doctors) seriously. Fifth, criticism should be directed at the situation rather than the person. When criticizing children, you should consider the situation. For example, if a child breaks her mother’s jewelry: it is right to say: “Look, if you play with something you have no right to play with, bad things like this will happen.” It is wrong to say: “You are so mean. , how could you break my jewelry? You deliberately didn’t let mom wear it!” The first sentence clearly told the child that his mistake was that he “touched it when he shouldn’t”\”something\” does not deny the child\’s character. The second sentence defines the child\’s character, makes him very frustrated, and undermines his self-confidence in being a good child. Sixth, let him do it. Let the child learn early Do what you can, and he will be more proactive in doing things in the future. Don\’t overdo things for your child, speak for your child, and make decisions for your child. Before you overdo it, think about it, maybe your child can do it by himself. Don\’t say Say: \”You can\’t do this, you can\’t do this!\” Let the children \”try new things\”. Sometimes adults prohibit children from doing something just because \”he hasn\’t done it before\”. If the thing is not dangerous, let the children try. Chapter 1 Seventh, let the children open their hearts. Communicating with others is an ability, and speaking out what is in your heart is an ability. A 14-year-old boy needs the correct guidance from his father to speak out what is in his heart actively and in a timely manner, and will avoid doing so. If some dark things happen and are not controlled and avoided in time, he will continue to be more terrible. Happiness is an ability that allows him to see the good and positive sides of life. As for the bad things, you can also Be positive. Say more positive things: \”We\’re so happy to be together, aren\’t we?\” \”We\’re so lucky!\” \”Don\’t feel bad, we\’ll do better next time. \”Before the child is 8 years old, if there is no sunny, happy and correct mother, then the child will have the shadow of her mother emerging on herself at the age of 12. Therefore, at this time, we must not think that the child is just a child and is fickle. Don’t even think that things will get better when you grow up. In fact, darkness has already appeared seriously in this family. If there is no stopping and guidance, it will only become more serious and terrifying when you grow up. Eighth, emphasize what you get and know how to love. Family and friendship , sensual enjoyment, strengthen these \”acquisitions\”, let him know that he is enjoying when he enjoys it. Strengthen his understanding: I have a lot, and what I have is very precious. He must be made to know how good these relatives are to him. , It’s not something that should or is necessary. No one in this world owes anyone. The love given to him is the responsibility of the adults. He must know how to be grateful. They will also be parents in the future. In this world, there is no one to sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labor. It must be understood that what parents give him is not necessity, not habit, but love. Ninth, he must know how to respect others. No matter what the status of the parents is or the status of the people around them, children must know how to respect others without distinction of status. Maybe it is Dad\’s friends, maybe mom\’s colleagues, maybe dad\’s driver, maybe the watchman at the school gate, etc. He must be grateful for what these people who are not related to him have given him.