How to raise a sunny and happy child

When a child is born, all we think about is \”As long as he is healthy and happy throughout his life, I will be satisfied.\” But as children grow up, more and more demands are placed on them. Many people spend their entire lives searching for what happiness is. Some things go full circle before we realize that our thoughts are still the same as before. Therefore, no matter how complicated the world is, our steadfast goal must always remain the same, which is to let our children have a sunny and optimistic character. 1. Let children have the ability to be alone. Children who feel safe are calm and courageous. They are not afraid of being alone or being alone in one place. The ability to be alone is neither frightened nor forced, but a natural state of mind. Therefore, a sense of security is the prerequisite, and children should be accompanied and cared for more from an early age to make them happy and recognize themselves. When they are alone, they can read quietly and do things they care about. They will not be affected by the outside world and will not stay close to their families. This ability will make them more calm and calm when facing some things alone in the future. When they grow up, they can handle many unsatisfactory things and reassure their families. 2. Respond to children in a timely manner, but there is no need to satisfy everyone. People\’s desires are endless, and the happiness brought by satisfaction is only temporary. If you can\’t control yourself and do whatever you want, you will only make yourself more and more disappointed. The same goes for children. Through getting along with adults, they slowly form their views and behavioral boundaries on things. For example, there are some things they know they are wrong or unreasonable, but they just can’t control themselves. For example, they want to stay up late, play games, or go to school. At this time, parents should reasonably remind and intervene, and not let him do whatever he wants. Reasonable rejection of children\’s material requirements does not mean that you don\’t love them, but that their decisions and behaviors must be consistent with the family\’s economic conditions and the parents\’ affordability. Give your children enough trust from an early age and try to bring them as much knowledge as possible, so that they will better understand adults\’ thoughts when they grow up. Sometimes I am not a very principled person. I hope that Lele will accept my request on the basis of happiness, instead of always thinking about using the authority of his parents to manage him. Under my guidance, Lele has strong understanding and empathy. She will not ask for things as she pleases when she goes out, and she is very rational. 3. If a child loses his temper, do not intensify the emotion and deal with it calmly. If the child loses his temper, think about the reason immediately. Don\’t rush to conclusions yet, and don\’t rush to blame your children. Everyone loses control of their emotions sometimes, let alone children. At this time, everyone should calm down first and don\’t gather around each other and rush forward to persuade the child. There are many reasons why a child loses his temper. Some are because he is really angry; some are because he is afraid that you will criticize him; some are because he is imitating the way adults lose their temper. If a family member always expresses their thoughts by throwing tantrums, the child will do the same. And if he thinks that whoever has the loudest temper or loudest voice will win, then he will definitely do so unconsciously. At this time, parents should be consistent in their opinions and should not attack or undermine each other, nor should they add fuel to the fire. I think the best thing is for two parents to match each other, and leave some space for the child. Lele’s father and I have also taken many detours in this regard. After Lele was six years old, he began to show obvious rebellious behavior. He liked to say no to everything and did not listen to the opinions of adults. If his expectations are not met, he loses his temper. At the beginning, Lele\’s father had a very tough attitude. He went to teach Lele a lesson, but Lele didn\’t listen and made the noise even more fierce. Sometimes I couldn\’t help but blame him. When I criticize Lele, if Lele understands the problem I am talking about and stops talking, Lele’s dad will always come over to join in the fun and take the opportunity to criticize Lele. Later, I told Lele’s dad, don’t watch on the sidelines while I teach Lele a lesson, and there is no need to percussion Lele anymore. You should give your child a support and find a step for him appropriately. Later, everyone gradually formed a consensus. When Lele loses his temper, he will not confront the child head-on. When I criticize Lele, he will not participate or comment. I will explain things to him later when Lele is in a better mood. It\’s over. 4. Protect your child\’s self-esteem and give him more positive affirmations. Children will have some shortcomings and some unsatisfactory areas. But I think that these shortcomings still need to leave some face and space for children when meeting outsiders. Even if we express it, it should be a joking discussion rather than directly stating the child\’s shortcomings. If you feel that outsiders have a low opinion of your child or have wrong opinions, remember to express your views on the matter when you go home and chat with him, so that your child can make a correct judgment without being influenced by others. In fact, today\’s children are very smart. When you watch them playing, they are actually listening carefully to the adults\’ conversations. If parents always underestimate their children, they will also underestimate themselves. There is a friend who is very tall, so the child is also very tall like him. Their child\’s birthday is not much different from Lele\’s, but he is half a head taller. Every time we see our child, we can\’t help but praise him for growing taller; especially Lele\’s father, he always praises him with excitement and makes a comparison with Lele. (Heartless straight man) And the children\’s parents, every time they see Lele\’s shoes, they always say, \”Oh, your feet are so small.\” I know they didn\’t mean to compare. They were probably used to seeing their own children every day, so they didn\’t mean any harm in their words. Whenever something like this happens, I will tell Lele when I go home: You are not short, you are of normal height; that child is just taller, and your feet are not small either. They are bigger than mom’s hands. . In fact, this is a small matter, but if you give your child a correct attitude and stance, next time he hears other people\’s comparisons and judgments, he will understand in his heart and will not look down on himself. 5. When criticizing children, we must remember that we always speak with emotion when talking about things and not people, but adults will understand the problem more deeply. When facing children, we should express the problem simply, highlight the key points, explain our views directly, and do not beat around the bush. , and don’t accuse the child of wrong motives. Because the child will judge whether it is right or wrong through your attitude towards him, and he will also psychologically measure the love of his parents for him. One time when I was packing my things, Lele picked up my jade bracelet and put it on her hand when she saw it. I didn’t think much about it at the time, I thoughtHe won\’t drop it if he holds it. But because his hands were small, the bracelet fell to the ground as soon as he lowered his arm after putting it on. As a result, the bracelet broke into two halves. I was really surprised and regretful at the time. I told Lele about the origin of this bracelet and told him that I liked it very much and that the price was not cheap. Lele looked at me nervously and knew that he was wrong. I felt really distressed at the time, but I couldn\’t bear to blame and criticize him too much. Because from a child\’s perspective, he doesn\’t know the value and origin of this thing, nor does he know what will happen if it falls to the ground. And he didn\’t do it on purpose, and I can\’t teach him a lesson for no reason. When Lele makes mistakes, I also get very emotional and lose my temper. But when I calm down, I will summarize my attitude, tell him where he went wrong and what to do next time, and help him slowly sort out and establish his own behavioral standards. 6. Give your children a sunny family environment. Parents’ emotions have a profound impact on their children. Although we all understand, life is not easy, and there will always be times when we feel bad and out of control. But I think it\’s understandable to be unhappy or bad-tempered from time to time. Just provide and create a happy family for your children most of the time. Sometimes we have to show them some exaggerated performances and self-praise in front of the children, so that they can also learn to express their feelings. Although I also envy those children who are young but very calm, I always feel that Lele is too active and too expressive; but from another perspective, this is what real children look like. Sooner or later, they will become a thoughtful person. of adults. Therefore, I will still work hard to make Lele happy and happy at home, so that there is a relaxing atmosphere at home. CCTV recommends over 500 high-scoring documentaries. My child became addicted to self-discipline after watching it. When Lele couldn’t get up in the morning, I turned on the music and stood beside his bed to perform bel canto. If he performs particularly well in something, or if I feel that I need to make him more confident in himself, I will be particularly proud to encourage him. Sometimes I will exaggerately praise myself for my excellent behavior. For example, the meal I made today was particularly delicious. Lele would laugh out loud every time and comment, \”You are so proud again.\” 7. Communicate more with children and let them get used to expressing their emotions. Communicate and interact more with children in life, understand their thoughts and opinions in a timely manner, and understand their children\’s mood through communication with them. If there is no communication for a long time and only short-term communication, the child may not have any bad emotions, but in the long run you will definitely not be able to understand his growth and changes. Be sure to cherish the moment when your children come home from school and want to express themselves, because their excitement may pass in a short while; they may also be busy and forget about it. The time you go home every day should be happy and endlessly chatting. Children always like to tell their parents the most interesting and worth-talking things in school, as well as some of their own confusions. At this time, parents are attentive listeners. It is necessary to guide their views on this matter in a timely manner. Sometimes the parents\’ actions may not be scientific, but at least they can help their children. If we want our children to be sunny and happy, we must first become like thispeople. Discipline others first and discipline yourself first, and you must upgrade yourself to a certain extent for the sake of your children. Just like the parents and old people taking care of their babies in the park, they all speak softly and are particularly gentle and cute with their children. But how many people will always be like this before they have children? Everyone has to communicate with their children to become someone they can understand and accept. Therefore, if parents are hesitant all day long and have a very serious face, then their children will definitely become very careful and cautious. I have always believed that being a parent is to let your children have the power and freedom to love. We must give them love first, and then they will give love. Therefore, we are children’s mirrors and role models. Only when we are happy can the whole family be happy.