How to raise self-disciplined and independent children? Parents should keep in mind the \”Three things you don\’t like and two things you don\’t care about\”

If they want their children to stand out after the \”double reduction\”, parents must do \”three things they don\’t like and two things they don\’t care about\”. 01 Three Unaccustomed 1. Children are addicted to mobile phones and are not used to it. Following the introduction of the \”double reduction\” policy, regulations to prevent minors from being addicted to online games also came. After the \”double reduction\”, if time is not properly arranged, many children will spend more time playing on their mobile phones. We often say: To destroy a child, give him a mobile phone. The fastest way to ruin a child\’s performance is to let him sink into the world of mobile phones. It is difficult for adults to control themselves when faced with the temptation of mobile phones, let alone children with poor self-control. Therefore, after the \”double reduction\”, the \”competition\” with mobile phones for children should not only not be relaxed, but should become more urgent. 2. Children procrastinate and are not used to the \”double reduction\” policy, which also has clear requirements for the amount of homework. Many children feel that they have more time and less homework, so they can write slowly. As a result, they play and procrastinate until they are very I started doing my homework late in the evening. Faced with their children\’s troubles, most parents adopt the simple and direct method of \”nudging\”. However, urging may be effective in a short period of time, but it can easily cause children to become dependent on urging, and excessive urging can also induce children\’s rebellious psychology and even affect the parent-child relationship. Children are not quick to push, they procrastinate, and most of the problems are actually a lack of time planning ability. What really determines a child\’s performance is not their IQ, but their time management. Procrastination, which may seem like a minor problem, is not only closely related to children’s studies, but may even affect future work and social interactions. Therefore, after the \”double reduction\”, parents can not only not condone the problem of procrastination, but can also take advantage of the reduced workload to consciously cultivate their time management. 3. Children have bad habits. If they are not used to it, they will be relaxed and the pressure will be reduced. People are not as nervous to study as before, but many bad habits have emerged: eating too much and being lazy, not liking to exercise, not sleeping at night and not being able to afford it in the morning… these Bad habits may not seem like a big problem, but the more they accumulate, the more difficult it will be to develop good habits, and the easier it will be to drag down the child. Children with poor academic performance do not lose because of their IQ, but because of their study habits. Completely different learning habits also destined these children to have completely opposite directions in the future. A child without good habits will lose to his inner desires and end up spending his life doing nothing. Children with good habits can arrange their time in an orderly manner, without wasting any time, and have more internal drive. There is no such thing as a natural academic master, it is just a matter of accumulation of good habits. After the \”double reduction\”, parents must guide their children to make good use of their spare time and help them develop good study and living habits. 02 Two cares 1. The \”double reduction\” of matters within the scope of children\’s abilities has been implemented, and subject-based training institutions have been closed down. Originally, children were supervised by teachers at school, tutored by tutors in training classes after class, and supervised by their parents when they returned home. Now, children have more time to be independent. If children are not independent enough and do not plan their spare time reasonably, the gap will become wider and wider. Therefore, those parents who have foresight start to let go earlyCultivate children\’s independence. The writer Albert Hubbard once said: \”When parents do too much for their children, the children will not do too much for themselves.\” You can\’t see your children suffering. As long as the children encounter the slightest difficulty, they will immediately rush to it. Going to help them solve the problem clearly seems to show love for the child, but in fact it deprives the child of the ability and motivation to solve the problem. Hugging love too tightly is often a kind of hidden harm. Every child has the right to grow up by himself. He should go his own way in life, and parents cannot replace him. The sooner parents let go and cultivate their children\’s independence, the more stable their future will be. 2. Difficulties a child can endure Regardless of one study, a child\’s ability to successfully deal with the difficulties he encounters depends more on his experience than his intelligence. Many parents feel that their children are too young to solve problems, so they begin to make decisions for their children and help them eliminate all obstacles. However, this approach deprives children of exercise opportunities. Over time, children\’s courage to face difficulties and their ability to solve problems will also deteriorate. Children will inevitably encounter bumps and bumps on their way to growth, but growth happens precisely in the process of solving difficulties. Just like Deng Yaping said when talking about her parenting experience, \”Not all pressure can be avoided. Difficulties and challenges are what we must face. If we avoid them and do not solve them, the problems will always be there.\” Let the children face it head-on. Difficulties are like planting a seed in the body. When they encounter difficulties in the future, the first thing they think of is not to look back at their parents, but to find a solution themselves. Previously, a copy of the \”Don\’t Call Mom Equality Treaty\” went viral online. The 9 rules put forward by my mother actually have the same purpose: \”When you encounter a problem, please try to solve it yourself as soon as possible.\” After the treaty was officially implemented, the children called mom less often. They got used to getting up and washing themselves, serving themselves meals, and remembering to carry a kettle and mosquito repellent when they went downstairs to play. Loving children is not about being a pair of \”snowplow\” parents to remove all obstacles for their children, but letting them experience it alone. In fact, children are much stronger than we think. Give trust and learn to let go, and their steps will become more determined and steady. An independent and sound personality, the courage to take on responsibilities, and the ability to solve difficulties will eventually become children\’s basic abilities and help them overcome obstacles in their future lives.