Accompany first, then discipline, turning love and affirmation into the confidence for children to walk in the world. In life, parents always want their children to be well-behaved and obedient, but in the process of disciplining their children, children often show back talk and rebellion. When a child talks back and is rebellious, parents will think that the child is disobedient and difficult to discipline. Is it really the child who is disobedient and difficult to discipline? In fact, it is not, but we have never really understood and understood children. When a child has a problem, most parents will judge whether the child is right or wrong based on the child\’s first reaction and current state. They never thought to understand the motivation and reason behind the child\’s reaction? I started to rush to correct it. Such eagerness to correct behavior makes children unwilling to talk about their inner thoughts. At the same time, because they are not understood, they become inferior, indifferent, timid, rebellious, depressed, and have a bad temper. In fact, these problems in children have a lot to do with their parents. However, because parents have not really understood their children, they cannot help their children in the first place. When I read the book \”The Warmest Company\” by the author Wu Enying, I realized that when parents discipline their children, they can communicate with them in the gentlest way and with a peaceful attitude. The author writes from five dimensions: growth and development, family, father-daughter relationship, peer relationship, and parent-child relationship, showing the different psychological states of children. After reading this book, parents can better understand and understand their children, thereby changing their current parenting and communication methods. In the process of raising children, gentle companionship is the confidence for children to walk in the world, and it is also a strong shield for children when they face challenges. This book does not look obscure like other books, but uses the simplest and most simple cases to explain it. For example, the book mentions: Why do children recognize children? Why don\’t you want to eat? Why don\’t you like your younger siblings? Why don’t you love learning? Why resist doing homework? Why are cell phones addicted? Why don\’t you want to go to school? It turns out that there are reasons behind these things. They are not what we see on the surface. The methods in the book allow us to solve children\’s problems without yelling, and the methods are simple and easy to copy. Let me share with you 5 tips on how to avoid yelling and keep children obedient. 1. Adjust appropriate instructions according to the age of the child. For younger children, give instructions directly. Don’t explain too much to the child. Just tell them directly what is allowed and what is not allowed. Older children should be more understanding and ask more questions, what do you think? Let the children tell you how you think this should be done. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! For younger children, giving direct instructions is not disrespectful, but because the children are too young and need their parents to make decisions. For older children, what parents need to do is to let go, respect their children, and let them make independent decisions. 2. If your child doesn’t like to study, first find out the reason. First, figure out the reason behind the child’s dislike of studying. Is it because he doesn’t like the teacher, or is he having problems getting along with his classmates, or is the question too difficult. After knowing the reason, give the child the correct method to help the child learn. 3. When your child is procrastinating while doing homework, break down the goals and list the big goals together with your child.Then break the big goal into small goals, and then set a time and how long it will take to complete the small goals. When children don\’t see a lot of homework, they will feel less stressed and will be more willing to take the initiative to complete their own homework. 4. When your child makes a mistake, talk about it as it is. When your child makes a mistake, talk about it as it is, but don\’t make personal attacks or even talk about things that happened long ago. Don’t ask your children, do you know what’s wrong? Because after asking, most children will be confused and confused, and after asking, they will just keep silent because they really don’t know the reason. When a child makes a mistake, he or she must give guiding opinions. For example, if a child spills water, ask him, \”Why did the baby spill the water?\” Do you know why? The child will say, I didn’t hold it properly and walked too fast. What should I do next time? Walk slowly and get it. In a simple conversation, the child clearly knows what is wrong. Instead of yelling, \”Do you know what is wrong?\” More convincing to children. 5. After you have younger siblings, pay attention to the younger ones as well as the older ones. After the birth of the younger siblings, mothers will unconsciously ignore the older ones due to limited energy and time. When the older ones feel neglected, they will think that it is the arrival of the younger siblings. Stealing mother\’s love. In order to regain her mother\’s love and attention, she will constantly confirm whether her mother loves her by losing her temper, talking back, or being clingy. The book \”The Warmest Company\” once said: There is a strong attachment relationship between mother and child. Once there is a crack in this attachment relationship, the child will become extremely restless. In order to repair the crack, the child will ask for a lot. If If you don\’t get what you want in the middle, you will make all kinds of troubles. When parents don\’t understand, they will think that their children are being unreasonable and disobedient. If their children don\’t listen to the truth, they will start yelling. But when they understand, they will understand that their children are just using this method to confirm whether we still love them. Therefore, instead of yelling at your children, it is better to read and understand them first. The author of the book also uses a child\’s perspective to answer questions about children\’s psychological characteristics, and also allows parents to understand the harm that different words can do to their children. At the same time, we can figure out what is the gentlest companionship and the best discipline. Written at the end: The best discipline is to understand and read children, so that children can feel warm and not tired, and can talk to them at any time when they are tired. I hope that every mother can become a shield and anchor for her children as they grow up, so that they can have the confidence to embrace a better future.
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