When children face social problems, parents do not need to be anxious, let alone get involved immediately. Instead, give children the opportunity to try to solve problems on their own. Only in this way can children slowly learn how to socialize and get along with others. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, I took Dabao to the playground. During the play, Dabao had a conflict with one of the children. The child picked up the balls that Dabao found in the round hole and threw them out one by one. Dabao stopped the child\’s behavior. He said that this was the ball she had picked up and she should not throw it out, but after hearing this, the child continued to throw the ball. Just like this, the two of us pushed each other, and I pushed you. They even secretly competed in the cave. You pushed me, and I pushed you. In this way, the balls were thrown out one by one while the two were pushing. After the children threw the balls, they ran away and went to play with other things. But Dabao ran away alone and got angry. At this time, I said, honey, I know the kid threw the ball out for you and you were very angry. You are right to be angry. If it were me, I would be as angry as you, because what the kid did is indeed excessive. After listening to this, Dabao said, I am angry with her, but I am also angry with you. How to overcome social phobia? How to develop your child\’s social intelligence electronic version She threw my ball, why didn\’t you help me, and said, she said she was looking for her mother, but I said, did her mother really come? Dabao said, no. At this time, I said, there is a conflict between you and the child, and I hope you can try to solve the problem by yourself. Instead, let your mother participate before you try it yourself, because it is impossible for your mother to be by your side all the time. Therefore, mom hopes that when you encounter a problem, you first try to solve it yourself. If you can\’t solve it, tell mom and she will work with you to solve it. Dabao was still unhappy, so I squatted down, hugged her, and said, are you still angry now? Do you feel that you are being bullied and your beloved mother is not there to help you? Dabao said yes, I said, you want your mother to get involved to help you, right? He nodded and I said, will my mother stand up and help you as soon as possible next time? She nodded and I said, next time you have a dispute with other children and your mother is not around, do you want her mother to get involved and talk about you? She immediately said she didn’t want to. I was right, and this kid didn’t want to either. Dabao heard what I said and said, I will try to solve it myself from now on. At this time, I saw that Dabao\’s mood had eased, so I said, \”You are very brave today. Although the result is not satisfactory to you, I will encounter similar things again in the future.\” I hope you will still be brave enough to express your thoughts and opinions as you are today, and at the same time be brave enough to reject the other party\’s rude behavior. But if you say it and the other party still ignores it, you can choose to leave. Leaving is not because you are afraid of her, but because there is no need to get entangled with someone like her. Also, maybe the other person was unhappy at the time, or her mother didn\’t teach her how to get along well with others. Or, you can tell her, let\’s be friends and play together. If the other party is still rude after telling her, just ignore her. Dabao’s incident reminds me of a video I saw a few days ago. What it’s about is that when children have disputes or conflicts with their friends, parents often teach their children how to fight back andHow to protect yourself. But children are not taught how to forgive and how to let go. At this time, I used the method in the video to try to continue communicating with the child. I said, honey, you can be very angry, but after leaving, I suggest you put down your anger. If you cannot learn to let go, you will always keep it in your heart. As a result, you will always be unhappy. Do you want to be unhappy? Do you want to miss out on a lot of things because you are unhappy? For example, after coming out of the amusement park, you have been very angry and have not been able to ride the three-person bicycle that you most wanted to ride. Dabao said, \”I don\’t want to.\” At this time, I said, \”Mom wants you to let go because she wants you to learn to forgive. Learning to forgive is not to make you weak and give in, nor to make you forget and agree with the other party\’s actions.\” Mom hopes that you live for happiness instead of worrying about other people\’s faults all the time, which will make you unhappy all the time. For example, if you have a conflict with your child and you still can\’t let it go. Or you keep expecting the other person to apologize to you, which means you are giving the other person the right to be happy. But if we can actively forgive others, it means that we have gained the right and ability to actively obtain happiness and joy. Therefore, in many cases, when we forgive others, it does not mean that we are weak and timid, but that we must learn to reconcile with ourselves and give ourselves freedom. On the road to growth in the future, you will meet many people and encounter many problems, but if we don\’t learn to let go and forgive. Then it will be difficult for you to achieve true happiness. Do you want this? Dabao said, \”No, I was right, so are you still angry now?\” Dabao said he was no longer angry and went home happily. As parents, we need to understand that when our children encounter social problems, we have to do more than just teach them how to fight back and protect themselves. We need to teach our children how to reconcile with themselves. To put it simply, we need to teach our children how to let go and how to forgive. Because if we only teach children how to fight back and protect themselves. When children fight back, what kinds of situations and problems will they encounter? 1. It is easy to respond to violence with violence instead of thinking about how to deal with the problem correctly. If you only teach children to fight back, it is easy for children to learn to respond to violence with violence, and they feel that no matter what happens, they can solve the problem with fists. Instead of thinking, without using fists, how am I going to solve this matter. 2. When encountering someone older than the child, it is easy for the child to get hurt and ask the child to fight back. If the other person is older than the child, it is easy to be injured. 3. If the counterattack is not in place, it is easy to become more timid. When counterattacking, if the opponent is hit instead of hitting the opponent, it is easy to become timid. As a parent, there is nothing wrong with teaching your children to fight back and protect themselves, but you must also teach your children to pay attention to and do these things when fighting back. 1. Teach your children first to reject the other party\’s inappropriate and uncomfortable behavior. 2. When the other party makes a move, you can fight back, but if you feel that you can\’t get an advantage by doing it, you can yell back. Or immediately seek help from teachers and family members, and tell the children that taking action is not the purpose, but the most important thing is to protect themselves from being bullied and hurt. 3. Make more friends in the future so that you will not be isolated or helpless. 4. Don’t always stick to unhappy things, learn to forgive and let go.Only in this way can true freedom and happiness be achieved. When children face social problems, if we guide them in these ways. You will find that as your children grow up, they not only learn to refuse and think, but also learn to deal with situations when they can’t think straight or can’t do things. You will take the initiative to reconcile with yourself, let yourself go, and let yourself take the initiative to gain happiness and freedom. This is not cowardice, nor is it teaching children to give up. It is teaching children to have an open-minded attitude towards life. Finally, I would like to share with you a passage: Parents are the ferrymen of their children. The kind of person a child will become in the future depends on how the parents guide and educate the child when he is young.
You are Here
- Home
- Parenting knowledge
- infancy
- How to solve children’s social problems