How to stimulate children’s inner drive

I want to share two little things in my life recently. When children encounter things they don’t want to do or encounter setbacks in doing something, how should we help them and stimulate their own inner motivation? On weekends, I took off the training wheels of Yu Xiaobian\’s bicycle and took them to the square to ride. Because it was her first time riding a bicycle without training wheels, she was very scared, and she kept telling me that she was scared because it was her first time riding. I asked her what she was afraid of? She replied that she was afraid of falling. I told her, \”Your legs are very long and can reach the ground. When you see that you are about to fall, put your feet on the ground so that you will not fall. And after mother\’s analysis and judgment, she knows that you can I only let you try it if you are good at riding a bicycle.\” As soon as she heard what I said, she started to try it. From the beginning, it was like playing with a balance bike until she could successfully ride a bicycle by herself. But he was not very proficient yet, so he always stopped after a short distance. I said, \”If you ride for an hour and run out of energy, I\’ll buy you donuts.\” When she heard that she liked the food, she was very happy and continued riding by herself. After two laps, she said she didn’t want to ride anymore. I asked her, don\’t you want donuts? She said a little unhappy, it was you who refused to give me donuts. Fan Deng\’s reading recommendation: How to stimulate children\’s inner drive pdf+mobi+epub I said, I am not denying you donuts, it is your choice. You get donuts when you use up the energy. She said that I can also burn energy by running. I answered her, but the rule of our game now is that you can get donuts by consuming energy by riding a bike. Of course, you can also choose not to ride, but in that case, you may not get the donuts. After hearing what I said, she continued to ride her bike. But I feel like she\’s not that happy when she\’s riding. She rode around twice and came back, and suddenly I had a flash of inspiration and thought of her little animal. That was a very important friend (muppet) to her – Little Elephant, who had been with her for more than four years. I told her, Yu Xiaobian, it seems that the little elephant has never been here before. If you can ride the bicycle well, you can take it for a ride here in the future. After hearing my words, her eyes changed, and I knew this was the right direction. Then I immediately removed the basket (which was broken) from the front of the car and put it on the back seat to tie it up for her. This time I felt that she was really full of strength. I was very happy to see her, and I wanted to learn to ride a bicycle from the bottom of my heart. The second thing happened in the past two days. After winter, the weather gets colder and getting up becomes more difficult. It was rare yesterday morning. They got up very early. After finishing, it was around 7:35. I told them that the time we go out is 7:50. You can make your own arrangements for the time before going out. of. Then they played with toys and drew pictures on the tatami. When the time came, they felt that they didn\’t have enough time to play with toys. I told them, if you feel that there is not enough time, you can get up earlier the next day, then you will have more time to make your own arrangements and do what you like to do. When the alarm clock rang at 7 o\’clock in the morning, I went to call Yu Xiaobian. She was still a little nervous at first.Staying in bed, not wanting to get up. I asked her softly, do you still want to play with toys and draw? If you get up now, I can help you wash up, and then you will have a lot of time to do what you want to do. But if you don\’t want to play with toys and draw pictures, it\’s okay for you to continue sleeping. She got up immediately after hearing this. It took about ten minutes to get dressed and wash up. I praised her and told her that you got up very early today. Mom thinks you have strong self-management ability and very strong willpower. Because not everyone can get up as early as you do. You see, dad is still sleeping. As for my sister, I also communicated with her in the same way. Although she was still very sleepy, she was still able to get up and wash herself. ​These two things brought me some feelings. When I was listening to Fan Deng read a book before, I heard a point of view he said, to the effect that he did not agree with using material rewards as a condition to encourage children to do a certain thing. I have the same feelings and experiences on these two things. Because when a material reward is not attractive enough, it is not enough to motivate the child to do (or complete) something. Just like Yu Xiaobian riding a bicycle, donuts are very attractive to her at first, but when she feels tired or doesn’t want to ride for other reasons, the attraction of donuts to her weakens at this time. Maybe she will hold on for a while, but the child\’s energy state is not right at this time. Maybe this material will satisfy you this time, but one day when the child has no need for this material, what will you use to guide your child? Are you constantly switching between different substances? What children really need is to want to do something from the bottom of their hearts. What we have to do is to discover and help them connect. Of course, I do not completely deny material things. If this thing is what the children want, we can set up levels and tell them that they have to work hard to get what they want. Only by working hard can they get it. When she gets something through her own efforts, we praise her for the quality behind her act of \”getting something by giving.\” To me, this is the link. Help children find their inner drive and activate it. What kind of character do you want your child to have? Use these qualities to praise her and create a link. And these qualities will stay with her forever.