How to stimulate children\’s inner drive? This is the only trick that will work

I have been resting and taking some time off this week. I felt like there was nothing in my mind, so I didn’t update the article. Unexpectedly, a netizen left me a message on WeChat and said: \”Dear, you haven\’t updated for a long time.\” When I saw this sentence, I suddenly felt like a student being urged by the teacher to hand in homework, and like being woken up by an alarm clock in the morning. a feeling of. \”I\’ve called you several times, why don\’t you get up? You\’re going to be late!\” \”Can you eat faster?\” \”It takes half an hour to write a line. How long did it take you to prepare your homework?\” About children If parents were to complain about \”slowness\”, they would probably take an entire day to complain about it. Too slow to pack his schoolbag, too slow to eat, too slow to write, too slow to memorize the contents of the textbook, etc… Our boy often tests my patience with his various \”slowness\” every time I want to rush him. , there is such a voice in my heart asking myself, \”Why can\’t something that I think is so easy and can be done so quickly not work with him?\” When this voice came out, I knew that if I directly If you blurt it out, the messy emotions will rush out together and turn into noise. So every time, I tell myself to wait and talk. This \”waiting\” is not only to prevent myself from always regretting it, but also to try to find a language that the child can understand while waiting for the child. When I picked up my son from school two days ago, I waited for him at the school gate for half an hour. After waiting for him for half an hour in the cold wind, he forgot to take his lunch box and water bottle and went back to get them again. I could only continue to wait. While waiting, I was thinking: When he comes out later, I will What to say to him. When he ran out sweating profusely with a lunch box in his left hand and a lunch box and kettle in his right hand, before I could open it, he said: \”Mom, I found the lunch box and kettle!\” \”Yours!\” The lunch box and kettle didn\’t go away. Are they waiting for you in the classroom?\” \”Yes! How could the lunch box and kettle go away?\” \”But your nameplate and skipping rope went away last time!\” \”That was a fall. It\’s not running away.\” \”So they couldn\’t find your things, or did you lose them?\” \”Well…\” At this point, the boy knew that he was in the wrong and immediately changed the subject, \”Mom, Do you know why the snowman melted?\” \”I don\’t know.\” \”Because the snowman was waiting for Waiwai Rabbit to make him a kite, and he waited and waited, and waited, and Waiwai Rabbit never came back, and then winter passed. When the weather gets hot, the snowman melts.\” \”Mom almost turned into a snowman just now.\” \”Ah? Mom, how did you become a snowman?\” \”Because I\’m waiting for you. I waited and waited, and waited, and you I never showed up at the school gate. I was blown by the cold wind and almost turned into a snowman. If I turned into a snowman, would you still recognize me when I come out?\” \”Well…\” The boy found that he changed the subject and ended up saying The hole he dug for himself, he stuck out his tongue in embarrassment. \”Mom, when I grow up, I will get faster and faster.\” \”It will be faster when you become more and more proficient.\” \”How can I become proficient?\” \”When the time comes, I will become proficient. \”Oh! I know! Just like when my mother told me to get up in the morning when I was a child, I couldn\’t get up. Later, slowly, I got up as soon as my mother told me to get up. \”\”yes. You couldn\’t get up at first, then you slowly got up after 10 minutes, then slowly after 5 minutes, and finally you got up as soon as I called you. \”My mother is waiting for me, so I am waiting for my mother.\” When my mother was cooking, I would play by myself; when my mother was working, I would read by myself; when my mother was tired, I would help her wash the dishes. \”When I don\’t know how to build a model, you teach me, and I read to you the words you don\’t know.\” \”The teacher said this is called mutual help.\” \” In the past month or so of taking care of my son full-time, I have been \”waiting\” like this every day, reading to him over and over again with him, and watching him learn from his mistakes again and again. In the first week, he fell off I bought a new set of Chinese books, math books and English books for him and told him that next time he lost the books, he would have to find them by himself. In the second week, his name tag fell off and he learned to find it by himself. Although he didn\’t find it in the end, he knew that he had to go to the class teacher to explain the situation, and then applied for a name tag; in the third week, his pencils, erasers and rulers were lost one after another, and I didn\’t buy him new ones. During the test, he was deducted points for not using a ruler, which made him aware of the consequences of losing stationery. In the fourth and fifth weeks, the head teacher continued to report to me that his desk was messy and his items were scattered around. I responded two times in a row. Zhou did not clean his room until he realized that he could not find his toys; in the sixth and seventh weeks, he was taken home by mistake because his name was not written on the exam paper. I drew one of the test papers for him, and then asked him to learn to draw the questions on another piece of paper; in the eighth week, he took other students’ timetables and mats home by mistake, and I told him to I went to find my classmates and return the items by myself; during this period, I would receive a \”complaint\” message from the teacher almost every other day. You will definitely ask me: What makes me insist on waiting patiently for the boy to change? – It\’s me Some memories from childhood. When I was a child, I remember that there were always a few boys in the primary school class who were “naughty boys” in the eyes of the teacher. They were naughty, unruly, careless, and unruly. They were always no match for those in the class who were sensible, obedient, and well-behaved. , \”Good students\” who are good at teaching are always criticized, their advantages are erased, and their shortcomings are magnified, so they pay less attention to the class and hate school more and more. They use rebellious behavior to protest Teachers ignore their strengths and protest against parents’ urging and comparison. The more parents and teachers urge, the more they procrastinate; the more parents and teachers do not give them opportunities, the more they give up. Although these boys always get passing grades They are on the fringe and have not been admitted to any key prestigious universities, but they actually have their own characteristics. Some are particularly strong in practical skills, some are very good at playing basketball, some are very business-savvy, and some have high emotional intelligence. , and some have rich imagination and strong creativity. After they entered the society, their career development was not hindered because their handwriting was not good enough and they did not understand so much knowledge. Instead, they were in the work fields in which they were good at I found something I can do well. The most important thingWhat\’s interesting is that they did not let their lives stay on a simple test paper, but put more practical actions into their lives. They live a more down-to-earth life than those \”good students\” in their childhood. When I see the boy, I think of these boys in my childhood memories, as well as myself in my childhood memories. What has time turned into a \”good student\”, and what has time turned into a \”naughty child\”? When I think back, I remind myself to wait. Because only when parents learn to \”wait\” for their children can we have the opportunity to see clearly what kind of life our children want to live, and only then can our children have the opportunity to think about what they like and are good at.