How to train children to do their own things?

A college student with excellent academic performance gave up the opportunity to study abroad because he couldn\’t handle his life. This sounds like a big joke, but it is an absolutely true fact. Since 20 years ago, our society has called on parents to face up to the problem of over-indulgence of only children, and encouraged parents to focus on cultivating their children\’s independent awareness and ability to do their own things from an early age, because only when children establish an independent spirit , only then can all development be possible, and unbelievable cases like the above will not occur. However, in real life, some parents are reluctant to let their children do things by themselves; some parents are busy with work and feel that their children are slow in doing things, but feel that they are causing trouble to adults, so they simply do everything for themselves; and some parents are too demanding for their children. Too often, children are given things that are required by adult standards. This not only fails to improve the child\’s processing ability, but also makes the child shrink, bored or even rebellious due to too many failures. Mr. Chen Heqin, a Chinese educator, said: \”Let children do anything they can do by themselves.\” Keeping these words in mind is not only important for cultivating children\’s independence and self-care ability, but also cultivating children\’s emotional intelligence. A sense of responsibility enables children to take responsibility for their own lives and behaviors. Child psychology research has proven that the initiative of psychological activities in early childhood increases significantly. They like to say \”I can\” and \”I do it myself\” in everything, and like to try and experience things within their capabilities. Therefore, \”bad\” parents believe that they should cherish their children\’s desire for independence and effectively use this critical period to encourage and guide their children to do things within their capabilities, such as eating, dressing, folding quilts, tying shoelaces, organizing backpacks, etc. . Learning to do some practical and simple labor from an early age will have a good impact on the child\’s life. After going to school, the child will gradually develop a love of labor, love of neatness, and organized living habits, which will be beneficial to them when they grow up. Study attentively and be rigorous in life. Therefore, \”bad\” parents remind parents to pay attention to cultivating the good habit of \”doing their own things\” in their children. American educator Aire Maloney proposed that one of the keys to educating children is to \”make them independent early.\” He believes that over-protection will only prevent children from gaining effective lessons from life through their own practice, thereby hindering their growth. In our country, many parents have a misunderstanding, that is, as long as their children study well, they will one day be independent and do not need to be deliberately cultivated. Parents believe that as long as their children study well, they do not need to worry about anything else. There is an article in the newspaper that is exactly the same as the above-mentioned example of the international student: So-and-so is a very smart child. In order to train the child, the mother almost took care of everything for the child and only let the child read books. The child passed the exam at the age of 13. A key university and attracted the attention of the news media. While people were praising the mother\’s great success, the child returned home because he could not take care of himself, could not adapt to the dormitory life in the university, and did not know how to interact with others. Intercourse. This is a sad example that cannot but cause us to think deeply. As a father, you should be open-minded to your childrenWith one hand, let the children try to solve some problems by themselves. Let children learn to take care of themselves and develop good habits of doing their own things in order to promote their independent development, which will be beneficial to their future study, work, career, and even their lifelong growth. Therefore, lazy \”bad\” parents are better than \”good\” parents, and smart parents should seize the opportunity to cultivate their children\’s self-management ability as early as possible. How to cultivate children\’s self-management ability? In fact, many of our parents do not realize that children can do many things. The results of a survey on young children show that children as young as 3 years old can eat by themselves, put on and take off socks, button buttons, and know how to put toys away after playing. 4-year-old children can start to learn to brush their teeth, wash their hands and faces, wipe their noses, put on and take off their own clothes, tie their shoes, and help adults get things, etc.; 5-year-old children can already eat with chopsticks and clean up after themselves drawers, folding dry clothes, folding quilts, and completing some simple temporary tasks given by adults; 6-year-old children should be able to basically take care of themselves, rarely need help from adults in small self-care tasks, and be willing to Do things for the group and be willing to help adults do things. When we know what children can do on their own, we should then cultivate and establish the awareness of \”doing their own things by themselves\”. Generally speaking, children have the desire to \”do everything by themselves.\” Although children will always misassess their abilities, the key is how parents guide them. For example, when a child wears his left and right shoes backwards, do you blame the child for learning the wrong thing? Or should you just help your children do it? You know, no matter which one it is, it just kills the child\’s initiative and completely destroys the child\’s desire to \”do their own things\” in the bud. On the contrary, if parents give their children appropriate encouragement at this time: \”It\’s great that the baby can wear shoes, but look carefully, are you wearing them right?\” Guide the child to discover that the shoes are worn backwards, and encourage the child to wear them again. , then the child\’s self-confidence will be greatly enhanced, and he will also learn a basic life skill. In addition, many skills in life are still difficult. To cultivate children\’s self-care ability, parents must gradually increase the requirements from easy to difficult, from shallow to deep, to adapt to the development needs of their children. For example, when teaching children to wear clothes, you can first teach them how to wear clothes without buttons, then teach them how to button buttons, and finally teach them how to wear multiple layers of clothes. In the process of children\’s learning, parents can also cleverly use some interesting stories, children\’s songs, etc. to increase the interest of learning. When children can basically do their own things, \”bad\” parents must also pay attention to maintaining the consistency and consistency of this kind of training. Always remember that children are young after all, so they cannot be very persistent and require constant supervision from adults. As parents, we must pay special attention to the fact that there cannot be any differences between the two. The father has one request, the mother has another request, and even the grandparents have their own requirements and opinions. It will be difficult for the child to make a choice, let alone one request today and a different request tomorrow. This will only make the children confused and unable to correctly distinguish their ownRight or wrong, therefore, only by enabling children to maintain good living habits can the cultivation of children\’s independence be successful. For younger children, for example, if parents are exercising their children\’s ability to dress themselves, they might as well give their children more time every day, such as getting up 10 minutes earlier. This not only ensures that the children will not be late for kindergarten, but also allows them to Plenty of time to practice. In the process of cultivating a child\’s ability, parents must not be tempted to help because their child\’s temporary ability is limited. In that case, all efforts will be wasted easily. In any case, the child must be given a gradual progress process.