How what you say to your children will affect their lives [the sooner you know, the better]

Yale University psychologist John Barger once conducted a famous induction experiment. He invited some students to come to his office, and before arriving at the office, these students would pass through a long corridor. After arriving at the office, he placed a piece of paper in front of the students with some seemingly unrelated words written on it. These words are as follows: He asked these students to choose 4 of these 50 words to form a sentence. When these students complete this sentence and exit Professor Barger\’s office, their pace through the hallways slows down. Why is this happening? Because this test affects the way students behave. These 10 seemingly unrelated words are actually carefully selected words. If you look back, you will find that many of these words are related to \”aging\” and \”slowness\”. For example: worried, Florida (many elderly people in the United States choose to retire in Florida), old, staring, lonely, gray, forgetful, etc. While taking this test, the students\’ subconscious minds were induced to pay attention to information related to aging. So when they get out of the office, their pace slows down and their whole behavior seems older. Barger later conducted another induction experiment. He asked two groups of students to take two sets of test papers. One set is interspersed with words such as \”provocative\”, \”disturbing\”, \”illegal\” and \”rude\”. One set is interspersed with words such as \”considerate\”, \”patience\”, \”polite\” and \”respect\”. After finishing the test paper, he asked the students to go to the office to talk to the tester. But the tester pretended to be talking to someone else and had no time to pay attention to these students. So what will happen at this time? Students who were induced by \”rude\” words quickly interrupted the tester, while 82% of students who were induced by \”polite\” words waited quietly for the tester to finish talking to others. A few minutes of word induction can have such a big impact on a person\’s behavior. Can you imagine how words that a person often hears growing up can affect them? If a child is often exposed to verbal violence from adults when growing up, their behavior and personality will be affected by these words. Verbal violence from adults usually affects children in three ways. 1. Why are you so stupid due to IQ humiliation? Are you an idiot? You\’re so stupid… Professor Carol Dweck of Stanford University found that children who believe that their IQ can be changed are more likely to improve their academic performance. Professor Dweck once had a boy in his research project who was a poor student. After listening to Professor Dweck\’s views on \”IQ\”, he actually said to Dweck with tears in his eyes: \”You mean, I canNot a fool? \”He joined Professor Dweck\’s study program, and after a period of time, his grades really improved a lot. And those children who thought that their IQs would not change, even if they joined the same study program, their grades did not improve. Children who do not study well , how many of you give up on yourself because you have no confidence in yourself and think you can\’t change? 2. Your personality traits or human character are so derogatory that it is hopeless. Why are you so lazy? You are a shame to us. You are worthless. Very bad… For most children, especially young children, they usually think that adults are wiser and understand themselves better. They just accept what their parents or teachers say and don\’t have much ability to judge right from wrong. The child will think: My parents (or teachers) know me better, and this is who I am. When adults label children based on their own temporary emotions or prejudices, children will easily shape themselves into behaviors that It fits the label. The behavior is temporary, but the label may last a lifetime. Whoever you say your child is, he may really become that person. Because you are using language to induce the child to pay attention to a certain behavior of his own, which will eventually lead to him Think that your personality or character is like this. 3. It is impossible for you to achieve the limitations of abilities. No one can do it. Just you? You are not suitable… Many adults will impose their own restrictions on life on children. On the body. There is a word called \”limiting belief\”, which means that people believe that they can\’t do something, or if they can\’t do something, then they really can\’t do it. There was a popular Indian movie before, It\’s called \”Dangal, Dad\”. The hero of the movie is a retired wrestler. He always hoped to have a son to continue his wrestling career, but he gave birth to 4 daughters. In India, especially in rural India, no one thinks that girls can Learn wrestling. \”Girls can\’t become wrestlers.\” This was the limiting belief of many people at the time. But after the male protagonist saw his two daughters fighting and winning against boys, his belief was shaken. Many people praised This father\’s persistence, but before he persisted, his mind went through the most important step-getting rid of his fixed views on women and forming new beliefs, which led to his subsequent persistence. When the child said , when he wants to do something or become a certain person, many people will judge whether this road is easy to take based on their own life experience. In order to prevent their children from taking detours, some parents will blurt out – you don\’t It\’s possible. The three words \”impossible\” will completely cut off a child\’s choice. In addition to denial, adults will often pass on some restrictive ideas to children, such as what you are not suitable for and what you should do. .Such inducing words will make children pay less and less attention to the various possibilities of their own lives. Before their lives have fully unfolded, they will only have limited choices. If your childhood was often affected by verbal violence from your parents, you will Unknowingly using similar methods on children. This is not your fault, it is just that your subconscious has been guided by these languages ​​​​for many years. But it is not impossible to change. If you everyEvery day, I insist on reading an article on raising children and learn a little bit of knowledge, which means I am receiving positive guidance every day. When you apply the newly learned methods or mentality to your children\’s education, the negative effects that once had on you will slowly disappear. Your emotions can also be induced by words. If you want to have a better mood when getting along with your children, it is recommended that before returning home every day, read an article that makes you feel calm, a beautiful text, or even look at a few pictures of smiling faces. Before you meet your child, plant the seeds in your subconscious mind to focus on more positive emotions. You will be much more at peace when you are around your children.