I can’t help yelling at my child, what to do, I’m a bad mother!

In life, there are always mothers who are reviewing themselves. \”I can\’t help yelling at my children. I\’m a bad mother.\” \”I shouldn\’t be so impatient, but I made that expression without even realizing it.\” \”Why can\’t I hold myself back?\” Where\’s my bad temper?\” These words contain a lot of mother\’s self-blame and guilt. I have seen “21 Days of Stop Yelling Training Camp” online. Many mothers even learn how to be more patient with their children privately. In WeChat groups, mothers discuss and exchange parenting experiences. I think this is great. Although many mothers are anxious and blaming themselves, I still want to say hello. Because parents who respect their children and want to raise their children well will have such anxiety and self-blame. As for the anxiety and self-blame, I want to say that it is really not necessary. No one is 100% perfect. If you really have a 100-point mother, you may not be able to raise a 100-point child. When it comes to cultivating children\’s various abilities, we always say that you should be a 60-point mother, not a 100-point mother. So, emotionally, just be a 90% mother! The remaining blank space that cannot be accomplished is also the space left for children to grow. Many outsiders cannot imagine what it would be like for me to have a bad temper with my children. They always think that because I look polite and pay special attention to my children\’s education, I will never lose my temper with my children. However, you must know that no one is perfect, and no one is always online. Once, I was sitting in front of the computer revising a manuscript in a very anxious mood. I told Baoduo in advance not to disturb me and to play by himself. Baoduo played by himself for a while, then ran over and called me. I said impatiently: \”Don\’t call me now, okay? Didn\’t I agree that I\’ll accompany you later! I\’m very annoyed now!\” By the end of the sentence, I was completely impatient. Unexpectedly, Baoduo was not angry, nor did he cry aggrievedly. He looked like a little adult and said: \”I understand you, mom, you are busy first, and come back when you are done, okay? I really I need help.\” The child\’s calm words were like a cool wind, blowing away all my anxiety and soothing my heart. I was very cruel to him, but he said tolerantly, \”I understand you.\” I was so touched, and then I was relieved – I had used great patience to raise him, and now, he has used the same patience to \”feed back\” to me. People have always had high demands on the role of mother. You have to be gentle, you have to be dignified, you have to know how to raise children, you have to be extremely strong, you have to be able to cook delicious food, you can help with homework, and it is best to have a good family and career… Many women forget about themselves once they become mothers. The mother\’s responsibilities come first, and the self relinquishes to the second place. \”You are already a mother, so stop…\” This is what many people say in order to get women to give up themselves for the role of mother. Naturally, even if you are a mother, you cannot have a bad temper. Otherwise, you will cause psychological trauma to your children and you will not be considered a good mother. This is like a trap that many mothers walk into unknowingly and get trapped. But few people tell them that they must comfort themselves first before they can have a peaceful mind to raise their children. There once was a new father who was in a familyPost on a parenting website to ask for help from mothers. He said that his wife had just given birth to a child and was on maternity leave at home. She was raising the child by herself. She was always angry and had a bad temper. He was always on guard. He was very puzzled. He said that he didn\’t smoke or drink, turned in his salary card, and came home on time from get off work. Why couldn\’t he make his wife happy? This man said a lot, but as a mother, you can see the crux of the problem at a glance. A new mother, raising her baby alone. Behind these words, there must be a woman with disheveled hair, an out-of-shape figure, panic inside, and physical exhaustion. Such a woman is in her own predicament in life, covered in mud and unable to climb out of the quagmire. It is difficult for you to ask her to be gentle, considerate and considerate. Even this new mother herself cannot ask this of herself. People who are stuck in emotional difficulties simply ask themselves not to explode bad emotions and suppress themselves. This is unfair to themselves. You must first soothe your soul and get through the difficulties before you can talk about anything else. Therefore, for mothers, you need to ask yourself, is \”the child\’s misbehavior\” the most fundamental reason for you to get angry? If it is because you are too tired, your first priority is to let yourself rest first; if your mentality is not good, you first need to adjust yourself; if there is a problem in the relationship between husband and wife, you first need to reconcile the two of you with your husband. Solve your emotional problems well… With a good attitude, you can be calm and patient when it comes to your child\’s education. Even if your child\’s performance is unsatisfactory, with a good attitude, you will have the energy to explore the reasons, rationally and scientifically. Instead of simply relying on \”yelling\” to subdue the child. Although there are many parenting theories, when implemented, the theory needs to be combined with the actual situation of each parent. Raising children is like crossing a river by feeling for stones. When you are really tired, you have to rest. On the road of parenting, there is no perfection except constant correction of mistakes. Let us adjust our mentality and grow with our children!