I don\’t expect you to love my child, but I won\’t allow you to hurt her either.

After watching the video related to the Ctrip parent-child kindergarten incident, I remembered my own experience of “confrontation” with my daughter’s kindergarten teacher. Because Sugar Daddy and I are both outsiders, Sugar’s Grandma and Sugar’s Milk both proposed the idea of ​​bringing Miss Sugar to her hometown when she was little. One is Liaoning and the other is Anhui. I don\’t agree with either. The specific manifestation of disagreement is not to wean Miss Tang from breastfeeding, but to continue to give her breast milk until she is two years old. Because when she is two and a half years old, she can go to small classes, so that the elderly will not be so tired to take care of her. And if they don’t want to take care of her, I can take it myself or ask someone to pick her up. Perhaps because of her free nature, Miss Tang has not liked going to school since she was a child. Until now, the first thing she says when she wakes up every morning is \”I don\’t like going to school.\” I once talked about it in my circle of friends with some worry. Many people said that this is normal, but it is not normal for children to love going to school, especially after weekends. Many children will feel this way. (Actually, it’s not just children. How many adults work just to make money to support their families?) Miss Sugar went to kindergarten for four years and cried for three years. The teachers and caregivers in the small classes are particularly good, and the small classes are also good. Until the middle class, the teacher changed to a young girl who had just graduated a year ago. At first, Miss Tang liked Teacher Wu very much because she was young and beautiful. She would often tell me that the hairpin Teacher Wu wore today was particularly beautiful, or that the skirt she wore was particularly beautiful. Later, she accidentally mentioned that Teacher Wu had a bad temper and often yelled at the children, which was too fierce. At this time, I began to have a hidden worry in my heart: no matter what the environment, children need the company of adults with stable emotions. Being too emotional will have a great and secretive impact on the child\’s psychology. Until one time, the mother of a male classmate in my daughter’s class mentioned to me that her son often had a bruise on his leg and a slight tear on his ear. When she asked, the child said that Teacher Wu kicked his leg, and Teacher Wu also often pulled it. His ears. The child\’s mother said that her son was indeed naughty, but she could not accept the teacher\’s behavior. She also talked to the teacher, but the teacher refused to admit it. So she has been collecting evidence and wants to find an explanation from the teacher. Later, I went home and asked Miss Tang whether Teacher Wu would pull the ears of some naughty children in the class, and she said yes. I didn\’t ask her at that time whether the boy\’s mother had asked her the same question, because I didn\’t think I should give her guidance on this matter. It might not be very appropriate to instruct a child to deliberately conceal what she knew. . But my thought at the time was: I need to start paying attention to whether Teacher Wu would treat Miss Tang like this. In fact, I don’t think so, because Miss Tang has been a sensible and well-behaved child since she was a child, and every teacher likes her very much. In the first semester of middle school, my daughter’s kindergarten held a “Parent Open Day” event. We go to class with the children, play sports, and play games. Parents leave before lunch starts. Of course, parents and children were very happy that day. Parents are happy because they know what their children usually do in kindergarten; children are happy because parents observe their daily study life and feel special. That nightAfter studying, I returned home and asked Miss Tang: \”Daughter, were you happy today?\” Miss Tang didn\’t speak, but Grandma Tang did. My mother said: \”Don\’t mention it.\” I said what\’s wrong? Miss Sugar still didn\’t speak. My mother said: \”When I came back, I felt that she was not very happy. When I was eating, I asked her what was wrong, but she still didn\’t say anything. Later, I said if I had anything to share with my mother and grandma, don\’t be afraid.\” As a result, Miss Tang was Cried. When I left that day, tears welled up in Miss Tang\’s eyes because she couldn\’t bear to leave me. I blew a kiss to her and left. But her crying made Teacher Wu very dissatisfied. After lunch, she made Miss Tang stand. She couldn’t remember exactly where she stood. It seemed to be the toilet or outside the door. Anyway, after making her stand, she warned Miss Sugar: Don’t tell your mother and grandma about this when you go back. The teacher has something at home. Telescope, if you tell me, I will see it, and then I will send the big bad wolf to your house. Miss Sugar, who was five years old at the time, was very scared, so when her grandma asked her, she did not dare to tell her. But my mother said that when Miss Tang was talking about this incident, she cried so hard that she couldn\’t even eat. There is no doubt that my mother is particularly distressed. She raised Miss Sugar single-handedly. She knows better than anyone else how well-behaved, sensible and kind this child is. No one in our family has ever spoken harshly to her. Ever since she was a child, Everything is discussed with her. At that time, Teacher Wu specifically told Miss Tang not to tell her grandma, because as you know, my mother is an old lady from Northeast China who has a very bad temper. She doesn\’t care about that and can go directly to the kindergarten to talk to the teacher for reasoning. I felt very, very uncomfortable, so I comforted my daughter, washed her, hugged her, and put her to sleep. During this process, I kept adjusting the best way to solve this problem: whether to talk to the parent group or to talk to the teacher privately; whether to go to the kindergarten to have a direct interview with the teacher, or whether QQ would be more effective. Later, I decided to communicate with Teacher Wu privately on QQ. Regarding my statement, Teacher Wu first denied it. Her reason was that children are not sensible, so they cannot believe everything they say. I said: This is a statement that is basically untrue. Do you think whose words are more pure, between an adult who has seen all kinds of people and a child who is ignorant of the world and has a pure heart? And I have taught my daughter since she was a child that secrets can be shared with her mother, so I don’t think she lied. I added: It is true that among teachers at various stages of education, kindergarten teachers do have a harder time. My daughter is also more emotional and clingy to her mother. However, because she cried after I left, it would make the child afraid or even frightened. \”Threatening\” her with words made me feel very uncomfortable. Teacher Wu has always avoided the idea of ​​\”punishing\” my daughter, and has always emphasized that the kindergarten has clear rules and regulations, and she will not violate them, and she did not violate them. I said: I don’t know how you learned to explain this to yourself at such a young age, but what I need to let you know is that there are already other parents in the class who are concerned about your attitude and education methods towards your children. I am dissatisfied, so I hope the teacher can pay attention to the teaching methods. Children are indeed naughty and it is difficult to observe discipline, but please follow the mentality of children at this stage.Use the correct educational methods based on the characteristics of the students. Teacher Wu repeatedly emphasized that the child\’s words should not be taken at all. He said that he had never used corporal punishment, so he was not afraid of other parents questioning him. I said it had nothing to do with me because I was more focused on my daughter. The reason why I choose to communicate with you in this way is because in addition to being a \”mom\”, I am also a teacher. As a teacher, especially a well-established teacher, the most important thing is to have a certain degree of professional sensitivity and try to protect yourself, so I will avoid going to the kindergarten to interview you and embarrassing everyone. However, I finally said that it is precisely because I am also a teacher, so I know what teachers are most afraid of and what makes teachers most uncomfortable – this is not a threat, but a kind of protection for my children – because you still I am young and have no children of my own, but please understand the heart of a mother. At the same time, it is also a reminder from one teacher to another teacher: I hope you know how to protect yourself. The next morning I told my mother that there was no need to mention this matter again when sending Miss Tang to kindergarten. I had dealt with it for the time being and would continue to deal with it if there was any follow-up. Later, until I graduated from kindergarten, Teacher Wu never had any excessive actions or words towards me, and I never said anything bad about Teacher Wu in front of my daughter. Are children really that ignorant and unable to distinguish right from wrong? I do not think so. After the \”Parent Open Day\” in the first class, I chatted with my daughter. I said that Teacher Wu is very nice and he is very kind in class and does not seem to be a fierce person. Miss Tang said very disdainfully: \”Of course she has to behave better when her parents are here.\” After hearing this, I was shocked. A six-year-old child can clearly see the \”two sides\” of people. of. The reason why kindergarten teachers work hard is because children have poor ability to take care of themselves, and their feelings and emotions are in a hazy and difficult-to-control stage. Because of this, kindergarten teachers need to be extra patient and loving, but this does not mean that kindergarten teachers are There are reasons why corporal punishment and verbal intimidation can be abused. Every line of work has its difficulties and difficulties. Since you are going to eat this bowl of rice, you must have professional qualities in this line of work. You don’t need to be responsible for your child’s emotions, but you need to be responsible for your own emotions. Take responsibility for yourself. As a teacher, I know that \”love students as children\” is the same as \”there are no students who can\’t teach well, only teachers who can\’t teach\”. It\’s not very reasonable. It\’s not terrible if you can\’t do it. What\’s terrible is that even the most The minimum professional qualities are missing, leaving children with no ability to resist physically, weak and simple psychology, and incomplete language expression skills to have to bear tremendous pressure. This is a very hateful and unforgivable behavior. Domestic kindergarten teachers often corporally punish or abuse children. For example, in a kindergarten in Wenling, Zhejiang, a female teacher held a child\’s ears 20 centimeters off the ground and threw the child into a trash can. For example, in a kindergarten in Taiyuan City, a teacher spanked the child within half an hour. For example, in Yang Kindergarten in Shanghai, kidney beans were stuffed into a girl’s lower body by a teacher; and yesterday’s exposure of a Ctrip kindergarten teacher abused young children and even fed mustard to the children many times. These incidents of kindergarten teachers abusing children that are frequently exposed on the Internet are why they are so widely criticized.This is because when an adult who has complete control over his own behavior shows his \”advantage\” as a strong person to a weak child, it is already an act of bullying the weak, and this \” The strong ones are the \”gardeners\” that parents and society rely on, while the \”weak ones\” are children who have no ability to resist. No one knows what a big shadow this will leave on the children\’s psychology, how they will digest it, and what subtle changes this digestion process will bring to their personalities, because these cannot be revealed immediately, even if the children Already appeased, the teacher has been punished. Of course, I strongly believe that this is only a very small part of the kindergarten teacher group, but in any case, when facing naughty children, even if there is no love, you must be more patient, do not abuse corporal punishment, and do not use verbal intimidation. We The child may be very naughty, but he is very weak, and his body and mind are not strong enough for him to bear this. As a parent, I hope to spend more time with my children, communicate with them more, and tell them what discipline is and how to get along with teachers and classmates at school. If the above incident unfortunately occurs, please speak up for your child bravely and rationally and use the most appropriate method to solve the problem. Children need the protection of their parents and the patience of their teachers. I don’t expect everyone to love our children as much as we do, but we will never allow others to hurt them.