I have paid so much for you, but you have not been touched. Have you ever tested your child\’s love?

Last weekend, my friend and I took our baby out to play. We found a mountain forest with fresh air, spread out mats on the grass, and several people sat on the mats to play games. When the game is played happily, adults and children will inevitably get a little carried away. A friend\’s son accidentally hit his mother on the head with his hand. It looked like it shouldn\’t hurt, but my friend suddenly wanted to take the opportunity to test whether his son felt sorry for him, so he told his son: Oops, it hurts so much when you touch me. Look, there\’s a bump on your head. Come on. Give mommy a rub! I thought the little guy would just laugh and laugh, but he wouldn\’t go. When her friend saw this, she covered her eyes with her hands and pretended to cry to gain sympathy. Now the child came over, but unexpectedly fell on her, laughing and deliberately slapping the place she said hurt. Afterwards, my friend complained to me: You don’t know, I felt like my heart was cold at that time. You tell me how good I am to my son. If he accidentally bumps into me, I will rush to him immediately, rub and apply hot compresses. I am so nervous, and in order to relieve his pain, I will usually Kiss him where he fell. But my son didn\’t seem to take my pain seriously at all… I said: Oh, who calls us great mothers? Mothers should love their children unconditionally. We don\’t care about things like children. Actually, I quite understand my friend. Because I feel the same way! One night on New Year\’s Day, I finally put my daughter to bed and told her a bedtime story gently and patiently. At this time, her father came over, and my daughter took her father and started whispering. When he came closer, the little guy shouted: Mom, go away, I want to tell dad a secret, you can\’t listen! Her father was very arrogant: This is called singing as a turned serf. When her daughter was a child, she was disgusted with her mother. Now that she has grown up, she needs to communicate more with her father. I… have to admit that at that moment, an indescribable little emotion suddenly arose in my heart, which was the same as my friend\’s feelings: Dear baby, I am the one who loves you the most, how can you let me go? sad? However, our generation of moms should be pretty good. Faced with this situation, they will feel a little depressed at most. In the generation of grandparents, the temptation of love is simpler and more direct. For example, my mother likes to play trial games with different tricks. I still remember one winter when it turned cold. One day, I was getting ready to go out and was changing my shoes. My mother stood beside me and suddenly asked: Girl, are these boots of yours warm? I replied smoothly: They are warm, these are snow boots, and they are full of fur inside. My mother didn\’t say anything else, and I left in a hurry to go out and do some errands. A few days later, my mother and I were sitting on the sofa watching TV at night, and my mother started to say: Alas, the weather is too cold, and those pairs of leather shoes I wore did not warm my feet at all. Me: Then let me buy you a pair of snow boots. My mother: Humph, I asked you a long time ago, but I haven’t seen you take any action. I was confused. When did the old lady ask me? I thought hard, tried hard to recall, and finally remembered that she asked me about shoes a few days ago, and suddenly realized: Mom, if you want to buy shoes, just tell me directly, and you have gone through such a big circle. My mother was dissatisfied and scolded: I am not testing you., if you have me in your heart, you would have bought it for me a long time ago, but you see that you have not withstood the test… After being promoted to grandma, my mother played less testing games with me, but it was not that she stopped playing, but Change the object to her little granddaughter. She has high blood sugar and never eats sweets on weekdays. But one day, she saw her little granddaughter eating chocolate, and she wanted to try it on a whim: Dear baby, can you give a piece of your chocolate to your mother-in-law? The granddaughter actually refused. The mother-in-law was unwilling and continued: Why are you so selfish? Have you forgotten who washes your clothes? The granddaughter said nothing. The mother-in-law simply launched a series of questions: Do you know who washes your dirty clothes for you? Who works hard to wash your clothes every day? At this time, the granddaughter became impatient and deliberately said randomly: Mom washed it! Dad washed it! Grandpa washed it! … Anyway, I didn’t say that my mother-in-law washed it, which made my mother-in-law very angry. Look, this is the effect of temptation: I have paid so much to you, but you have not been touched. Really unhappy. Why are the results of these trials mostly unsatisfactory? Do our children really not love us enough? What a injustice to the child. In fact, self-love is human nature. Only on the basis of self-love can we learn to love others. For a child, there is a process of growth. Initially, there is only himself in his world. This is a normal need for security. At this stage, the child is not likely to consider issues from the other person\’s perspective. Then, the child begins to establish a sense of property rights. At this stage, he likes to emphasize what he wants and ignore what others want, and this is normal. Slowly, under the guidance of parents and the influence of the environment, children begin to learn to consider others and become willing to share with others. Therefore, when we test a child who is still in the \”selfish\” stage, the results obtained will naturally not be so ideal. In most cases, a child\’s \”little selfishness\” does not actually prevent him from growing into an empathetic person who knows how to care about his parents, because \”little selfishness\” is just a necessary stage of his growth. Furthermore, children are more sensitive than we think. Sometimes, when they feel that their parents are testing them, they will deliberately behave contrary to their parents\’ expected results out of a rebellious mentality. Like my friend, he wanted to fake crying in exchange for his son\’s comfort. But the little man also has his own experience. He knows that such a collision will not make an adult much older than him cry. He guesses that his mother\’s crying is just a test. Maybe he even felt a little angry about this, so instead of comforting his mother, he deliberately slapped her. In fact, he was expressing his dissatisfaction in this way, saying: Humph! You\’re testing me again! It’s not that the child doesn’t love his mother, he just doesn’t like to express the kind of love that his mother wants to see under testing circumstances. Another situation is that the child has a relaxed and happy attitude, deliberately not showing what we expect to see, and making fun of us. I sometimes ask my daughter: Girl, do you love your mother? My daughter knows that I want to hear her say: Of course I love my mother. But she didn\’t answer like that. Instead, she tilted her head and said: I don\’t love it! If I ask her: Why don\’t you love her? She willHe laughed and stuck out his tongue and continued to tease me: I just don’t love it, I just don’t love it, so what do you do, haha! If I pretend to be angry at this time and rush to catch her, she will be even happier and start playing a chase game with me. She felt that if answering the opposite question could lead to a fun game, why not answer the opposite question? Hey, it would be boring to get the standard correct answer every time. 🙂 It’s not that the child doesn’t love his mother, but he sometimes responds to his mother’s earnest expectation of love in a funny way. In fact, how many parents don’t understand these principles? But we still can’t help but test our children intentionally or unintentionally: If mommy is sick, will you take care of her the same way she takes care of you? Mom\’s hand hurts so much. Do you want to help her blow it? A big pear and a small pear, which one do you want to give to your mother? …Sometimes, the answer isn’t what you want. But even if the answer we get is not satisfactory, we will not doubt our children\’s love. So, what makes us know that these experimental games are completely nonsense, but still enjoy playing them like innocent children? I think it must be because we love the little people in our lives so much that we want to pursue them to get the No. 1 position in our hearts. There\’s nothing wrong with that. After all, love can only go further when it is responded to. All we need is a little more patience to accept the slow brewing process of love. During the child\’s \”self-love\” stage, accept his little selfishness. At the stage when the child confirms property rights, respect his decision not to share, instill enough love into the child, and then believe that only one person has enough. Only a loving child can share the extra love with others, and love will naturally overflow. Therefore, when we want to confirm our status in the minds of our children, there may be a better choice than temptation, and that is: believe. Finally, let me tell you an interesting story. A child was holding two apples in his hand. His mother asked: Honey, would you like to give me one? The child looked at his mother and took a bite of each of the two apples. When my mother saw this, she felt inexplicably disappointed. Then, the child slowly finished chewing the apple in his mouth, handed an apple to his mother, and said to his mother: Give this sweeter apple to your mother. Yes, patience is bitter sometimes, but the results will be sweet. Love sometimes needs to wait, because love is always on the way. A child\’s love does not need to be tested, it is there, no more, no less.