I have told my child many times but still won’t change, what should I do?

Parents often ask questions in the background: No matter how much I tell my children, they just won’t change. I had a good argument, but it was still the same after that. I feel like I have lost my patience, and sometimes beating him up is much more effective than reasoning with him. What should we do when our children \”do not change even after being told many times\”? Before providing methods to parents, I feel it is necessary to introduce two characteristics of children\’s brains. Before the age of 5 or 6, a child\’s short-term memory cannot be well converted into long-term memory. When their parents reprimand them and reason with them, they may understand it at the time, but they will soon forget it. This is a developmental phenomenon and does not mean that children deliberately ignore the rules set by their parents. There is a part of the human brain called the \”prefrontal lobe\”. The prefrontal lobe is involved in many of our cognitive functions—attention, planning, self-control, risk management, logical thinking, decision-making, and more. The development of this brain area in children is not yet mature, and it is easy for children to have difficulty controlling their emotions. He cannot predict the consequences of his actions very well. Although \”still not changing despite being told many times\” is a common situation in children\’s development stage, parents are not helpless when facing this situation. There are at least the following 4 methods that can be tried. 1. Repeatedly telling the story that I forgot where I saw this story. Someone was traveling to Japan and passed a ramen shop, so he went to eat ramen in the shop. This store is run by a couple, and because there are so many people at noon, the couple is very busy. Their two-year-old child was playing in a small fence nearby. The child will cry and call his mother after playing for a while, and the mother will bend down and say something to the child: Mom and dad are busy, the baby is playing by himself, mom and dad are by your side, you can see us. Every time after saying this sentence, the child can calm down. But it could only be quiet for a few minutes, and then the noise started again. The mother continued to bend down and repeat that sentence to her child. From the time this person entered the store to the time he finished a bowl of ramen, he saw this mother saying this to her child seven or eight times. The child finally seemed to understand that his mother could not play with him now. Then he played by himself and didn\’t make any more noise. The younger the child, the less useful it is to make long speeches. Sometimes you just need to briefly explain to the child what he can and cannot do, and then give him some comfort. But don’t think that children should know it once you have taught it to them. Sometimes children may not understand it even after it has been taught to them three or five times. Even if you understand it at the time, you may forget it a few days later. Parents don\’t have to feel frustrated, because forgetting is a normal phenomenon in young children. If you forget, I’ll talk about it again. 2. When you ask your child to do something, tell him in advance (several times). A mother said that she was afraid to take her child to grandma’s house to play. The grandmother lives with the child\’s sister, and the two children stick together whenever they see each other. Every time I have to go home at night, it becomes a painful separation. There was almost never a time when the child walked out of grandma\’s house crying without being beaten, scolded or threatened by her. Later, the mother discovered that she seemed to remind the child to leave in advance, and the child said goodbye to her sister.It will be better. After discovering this, the mother of the child will remind the child to go home in half an hour after eating. Then remind again twenty minutes later. Another reminder in ten minutes. By the time it\’s time to leave, the child is fully mentally prepared. After doing this a few times, separation gradually becomes easier. When you want your child to do something, such as going out, leaving, or even preparing to go to kindergarten, tell him in advance. And the closer it is to the time when this happens, remind him more frequently, so that the child will be mentally prepared. 3. Timed isolation For children who have formed certain behavioral habits, parents can use timed isolation to correct their behavior. If a child always behaves wrongly repeatedly, parents can ask the child to stand in the corner of the room as punishment when the child exhibits this behavior. During the penalty period, parents are not allowed to have any communication with their children. Usually, the standing time should not be too long. For children aged two or three, standing for 2-3 minutes is enough. And do not keep children in closed, dark spaces. After the penalty stand is over, parents should guide their children to realize their mistakes. 4. Incorporate rules into daily conversations and stories Australian child education expert Susan Perot found that stories have a great effect on a child. Parents can try using their favorite story characters to remind their children of the rules. A mother once told me that she used a story to coax her child with stomachache to take medicine. The child has stomachache at night but refuses to take medicine. She recalled the picture book \”The Very Hungry Caterpillar\” she once read to her children. The caterpillar in it also had a stomachache and finally felt better after eating a leaf. She told the baby that the medicine was the leaf that the caterpillar ate. The child who originally refused to take the medicine actually took the medicine obediently after hearing this. Sometimes a child can be unreasonable and may have a sudden emotional breakdown if his parents refuse his request. So here is another way to deal with this unexpected situation. This method is an emergency technique, mainly to avoid confrontation between children and parents. There are three tips for diverting attention. Tip 1: Say \”Pause\” to the child Say \”Pause!\” to the child and make a pause gesture, and then immediately use another event to attract the child\’s attention. For example, \”There seemed to be some strange noise just now, did you hear it? Go and have a look with your mother!\” Then pull the child away from the scene where he was crying. Or say, \”Pause! Let\’s go see what Dad is doing?\” Then you can use very exaggerated and funny actions to attract the child\’s attention, such as walking on tiptoe. Tip 2: Let your children watch something else. When your children want something unreasonably, you can also try letting them watch other interesting and novel things to attract their attention. For example, \”Look, there\’s a little kitten over there. It\’s so cute! Let\’s go see where it\’s going?\” Sometimes with just this diversion, the child will forget that he is crying and clamoring for something. Something. Tip 3: Let your children listen to stories. Many children like to listen to stories, sometimes when they are noisy., parents can play stories to their children. Some children also like to sing and dance. At this time, parents playing songs that can make them sing or dance along can also divert the children\’s attention.