I only changed one sentence, and the child turned out to be so obedient…

We had just walked a few steps hand in hand. Once again, little Ye Zi, who was over 2 years old, opened his arms, looked up at me, and said hummingly – \”Mom, give me a hug!\” There is still a long way to go before I leave home. My arm strength really can\’t hold it for too long, but if I refuse, how can the child easily cooperate? I\’m afraid it\’s inevitable to start working on the same spot. When my husband was around, he was most afraid of his daughter crying due to his strong strength. He would often hold her in his arms and not be able to let her go. When it comes to my place, no, we have to find another way. I squatted down, put one hand around the child\’s waist, and pointed one hand not far away: \”Baby, mom\’s arms are sore and she\’s a little tired. She can only hold her for a while. Do you want her to carry her to the traffic light? Or in front of me? A little red house? You decide~\” My daughter was obviously startled, \”Red house paper!\” \”Okay! It\’s a deal! When you get to the red house, you have to get down and walk by yourself!\” I stretched out my little finger. , and hooked my daughter\’s little hand. The little guy thought it was fun and accepted it happily, \”Okay!\” The road was not long, only a few dozen meters. When we were almost there, I reminded her again, \”Go to the red house. We agreed that Little Leaf will come down and walk for a while!\” Sure enough, when we reached the red house, I put my daughter down. She was very happy, and she came down by herself, holding my hand and walking forward on her own initiative. \”Thank you, honey, for coming down and walking by yourself, and abiding by our little agreement.\” When my daughter heard my words, her mouth dropped, and she walked away even happier. The rest of the way home went smoothly. We continued to agree on the target. She walked for a while, I hugged her for a while, and then she walked again. It was like playing a game and we returned home. Many mothers feel that when their children reach the age where they can say \”no\”, it is really difficult for them to contradict themselves N times a day and to get their children to listen to them. Indeed, this kind of uncooperative scene often happens in my house: when you try to put on clothes for her in the morning, the child kicks and rolls around but won’t put them on; when playing with toys in the evening, you throw them all over the floor, trying to get the child to wear them. I asked her to help collect it, but she turned a deaf ear; before going to bed at night, when she wanted her child to brush her teeth, she got into a tantrum, \”No! No brushing!\” I found that the more I was in a bad mood, or it was too obvious that I wanted to restrain the child or raise issues with her. When asked, the more the child refuses to listen: \”You can\’t throw toys away!\” \”You can\’t take mom\’s things!\” \”You must put on your clothes!\” \”Go brush your teeth now!\” \”Put away the toys quickly.\” These words A bit like Tang Seng – too nagging, and extremely unequal: this is not communicating with the child, it is clearly giving orders. We are uncomfortable with being forced upon ourselves, but when it comes to children who are developing their own autonomy, the volcano will erupt even more. It’s not that the children are disobedient, it’s that they need different ways of communicating as they grow up. In fact, to solve this problem, just change one sentence, and magic may appear! There is a tool in positive discipline called: limited choice. As the name suggests, it has a standard sentence pattern: \”A or B, you decide.\” It is especially suitable for children aged 1 to 3 years old. Children of this age are often reluctant to respond to requests, and are less likely to answer \”how to do\” questions, but they are willing to respond to choices. Choose one of the two, which is just right. \”You decide\” – It\’s like saying to a child, \”When you grow up, you can make your own choices, not just do what I tell you.\”do. \”The child will feel respected and trusted. One day, my daughter didn\’t like brushing her teeth anymore. My husband said \”go brush my teeth\” several times but it didn\’t work. I was about to give up. I asked my daughter, \”Baby, it\’s time to brush your teeth. Do you want to do it?\” Strawberry flavored toothpaste or banana flavored toothpaste? \”It tastes like strawberry!\” \”My daughter immediately ran to the bathroom, and I followed suit, and the difficult problem was solved. Sharing it with her best friend, she suddenly realized, \”Isn\’t this the same trick I use to coax my boss? \”It turns out that when she was still a small employee, she booked a hotel for her boss, checked the place and ran to report, but the boss always frowned and asked her, \”Is there any more? Later, she learned to be smart and checked both at once, \”There is a Cantonese restaurant nearby. It has a nice environment and has a private room. There is also a Hunan restaurant next to it. It has a good reputation. It needs to be in the lobby. Which one do you want to go to?\” \”It was much easier for the boss to make decisions. Later, when she was promoted, she used the A or B method for everything from exhibition layout to purchasing plans. \”If you give too much, the boss will be confused, and it will waste his time to make decisions; if you give too little, he will make decisions. If he thinks you haven\’t done enough homework, it\’s best to choose one of the two. Haha, it turns out that raising a baby is the same. \”Well, this method is indeed good, but it is not omnipotent. I have fallen into a pit myself: one day my daughter got into my study again, opened the drawer, and took out all the books inside. My hand was still in front of the computer. As he typed, he said, \”Little Yezi, that\’s mom\’s thing, put it back in the drawer, okay?\” \”No – okay -\” I was stunned for a moment, suddenly understood what was going on, and then smiled: \”Yes,\” \”good\” or \”bad\”? This is not a limited choice, I don\’t want to at all. Accept the option of \”not good\”! When making choices for your children, you must respect the children and the current situation. Don\’t always set the domineering terms yourself, but don\’t forget to respect yourself and limit your choices. If you and your children can Accept the option! For example, if you don’t want your children to watch TV anymore, don’t say “Watch it for another 30 minutes or an hour.” No matter which one you choose, we can’t stand it, but if we turn it off immediately, the children won’t agree either. If both parties can accept it, you can try: \”Baby, watch for another 3 minutes, or 5 minutes?\” \”\”5 minutes. \”5 minutes are up. Do you want to turn it off yourself, or will your mother help you turn it off?\” \”Mom off.\” \”What if we are respectful, but the child just doesn\’t cooperate? For example – \”Pa! \”You turn off the TV, but the child keeps crying, and they refuse to accept the five minutes promised. No problem, in fact, we don\’t have to be afraid of rejecting the child. The truth in life is that many times even if you are reluctant, you still Follow the rules: I don’t want to go to work today, but I have to go. I don’t want to write an article today, but I have to update my official account. At this time, I will acknowledge the child’s feelings, but at the same time, gently reject her, “Oh, Mom I know you really want to watch TV, but the time we agreed to turn off the TV has come. \”Then, do what we should do -\” Bang! \”Turn it off. If the child cries at this time, don\’t compromise or get angry. Over time, the child will know that an agreement is an agreement, and the mother will do what she says, and she will gradually become a person who abides by the agreement. .